Customer Reviews

The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2

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From personal experience through years of owning a newspaper corporation, I learned that some of the biggest deals are closed during social situations, not always behind boardroom doors. I saw this first-hand with politicians in Silicon Valley, with Unions and other businesses. In fact, I had "Power Lunches" of my own where a hand-shake closed many lucrative deals. This outside-the-office setting allowed me to get to know clients and advertisers on a more personal level which led to better business dealings.

Even restaurants in Silicon Valley know the value of such social networking because they sell yearly two-for-one cards to their establishments. My newspaper bought these dining cards from Fairmont Hotel, Hyatt House, and LeBaron Hotel. This not only saved money but enabled us to entertain friends and potential clients in fine style in a relaxed atmosphere.

As Robin Jay, author of The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 And 2, explains, there is a fine protocol to building business relationships over a short time-span--lunch and on certain occasions a business dinner. She presents full details in this book, showing the readers how to conduct themselves in professional settings with grace and style, and she enlivens the excellent advice with humorous anecdotes that make for an easier reading/learning experience.

Since cell phones weren't in common use during my career, I was particularly interested in Robin Jay's advice on proper cell phone etiquette, which has an entire chapter dedicated to it.

The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 And 2 is well-written, with easy-to-follow formatting, and will be useful to those interested in building productive business relationships. The author's motto is: Share a Meal and Close the Deal, which is how she inscribed the copy I won in J. Kaye's Book Blog raffle. Incidentally, if you would like to try your luck on winning a book, go to: http://j-kay-book-blog.blogspot.com

Reviewed by: Betty Dravis, 2008
1106 Grand Boulevard
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My rating of this book correctly indicates the value I think it offers but I fear that the title and subtitle may discourage many people from looking beyond the cover. That would be unfortunate because so much of the rock-solid advice which Jay offers is directly relevant to almost any situation in which human beings interact: meals, of course (and not only lunch), as well as coffee breaks, before and after formal programs (conferences, workshops, seminars, etc.), parties, receptions, and during a lengthy airline flight.
Jay's primary focus, however, is on how to establish and then strengthen business relationships, especially with clients. She draws heavily on her own extensive experience (e.g. more than 3,000 lunches with clients) as she suggests a number of do's and don'ts and then explains why or why not. I appreciate the fact that she uses so many specific examples to illustrate key points.

Her advice is practical. Of greater importance, it is never threatening to one's comfort level. Almost all of her suggestions and recommendations are easily do-able. That is, she does not require a massive transformation of personality. For example, in Chapter 15, she establishes a familiar situation: You are invited to a networking event. You decide to attend only because you know someone else who will also be there. Upon arrival, you locate and then sit with that friend. In fact, you spend most of the time with her or him. You may meet one or two strangers. According to Jay, this is normal behavior. What does she suggest? Pretend that you are attending a wedding reception and that you are either the bride or the groom. How simple! And yet think about it. Who derive the greatest benefit from networking events? Those who are obviously and (key word) genuinely friendly people who circulate throughout the crowd, introducing themselves. They spend most of the time listening rather than talking. They sustain eye contact. They eagerly introduce those whom they have just met to others. They bring warmth and energy to the event. In other words, they behave as a bride or groom would at a wedding reception.

I could cite dozens of other examples of Jay's practical wisdom. Point is, this is a "must read" for those who are preparing for or only recently embarked upon a career as well as for those well along in a career who need to be reminded of what is -- and is not -- appropriate behavior, not only in a business relationship but indeed in just about every other relationship.

At this point, I presume to share what has really been helpful to me when meeting someone for the first time in out-of-office situations such as those which Jay examines. Inevitably I am asked, "What do you do?" For years, I would immediately cite my title, company, its location, and what the company sells. (By the way, there are no "wrong" answers to that question primarily because most who ask it really don't care.) Blah, blah, blah...Invariably, no matter what I say, I'm told that it is "interesting." Yeh, right.

About ten years ago, for whatever reasons, I suddenly realized that there is a much better response. Here's the situation. My wife and I were among about 35-40 people at a Christmas party. We circulated together for a while, then she became engrossed in a conversation and I headed for the bar to re-fresh my drink. Along the way, I encountered someone wearing the same Christmas tie I was, one sold to raise funds for the Save the Children Fund. We complimented each other on good taste, then introduced ourselves. Inevitably he asked me what I did. Suddenly I thought of a better response:

"Most companies have problems with [fill in the blank]. I solve them."
"What kinds of problems?"
"Probably the worst is [fill in the blank]."
"How do you solve it?"
"First I [fill in blank] and then I [fill in the blank]...."

Then, almost every time, I am asked for a card either for the person with whom I have been chatting or for someone that person knows who needs help solving the problem I identified.

Credit Robin Jay with skillfully sustaining a conversational tone while sharing her observations and recommendations. So many "How to" self-improvement books strike me as arbitrary and impersonal. That is certainly not true of The Art of the Business Lunch. Nor is it accurate to describe as "art" much of what Jay shares. Rather, I see it as plain old-fashioned common sense in combination with the Golden Rule ("...as you would be done to"), the Platinum Rule ("...as they would be done to"), and courtesy which, regrettably, is no longer "common."

The Art of the Business Lunch will probably be of greatest value to those who often entertain for business purposes. If nothing else, it will prevent many of them as well as other readers from indulging in behavior which is, at best, an embarrassment and at worst, could destroy a relationship... and even a career.

This book was a disappointment. The artwork on the cover is enticing. Essentially the book is a series of anecdotes with few tips or advice of real substance. A much better book has been written by an Australian author called "Charming up Profits". I would have to say that the book was a piece of sef-promotional self-indulgence doubtless designed to support the author's speaking engagements. I had expected so much more.

This is an awesome book whether you are hosting or being hosted at any business function as it gives you much more than just "doing lunch". I have been in the retail/wholesale clothing business for over 18 years and sat on both sides of the table. This is a must read for anyone in the business world as it really goes into depth about the "art" of doing business in social settings. Now get this book then call someone and ask them, "Wanna have lunch?".

Following the advice in these pages, strategically setting up business lunches with prospective clients and referral sources, as well as current clients, has helped me increase my business significantly over the last 18 months. The practical tips she shares are superb, from grabbing the check to what to order.
I run my own publicity and writing business and get a lot of business through word-of-mouth and referrals from colleagues and current clients. In my business, relationship building is extraordinarily important. I already considered myself an "above-average" networker before laying eyes on this book. Who was I fooling? I purchased the book after hearing Robin speak to a group of professional women. What I have learned from Robin has really helped me "kick it up a notch" with phenomenal relationship-building results. I have even come up with an acronym I repeat to myself when I notice I don't have enough business breakfasts and lunches booked on my calendar: BBBB (breaking bread brings business). It's true! Another great thing about Robin's writing is her humor. She is able to share great advice sprinkled with amusing anecdtoes that we can all identify with.

Dont know whether I had too high an expectation of it under the influence of its title "the ART of the ...." or the very favorable comment on the back cover and here on Amazon I had been a little bit disappointed. Perhaps I have been in the business for long so I truly believe that the ideas covered by the author should be readily practised by even the mildly successful sales or account executives. If you are a greenhand in the industry or you honestly consider yourself ignorant of business etiquette and networking, the book is still fine for you. However, if you want to read something of the advanced level, "Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time" by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz would be a much better but demanding choice.

If building more productive business relationships interests you, you'll want to read The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2 by Robin Jay.

Ms. Jay, the "Queen of the Business Lunch," explains that successful business relationships are built and enhanced at lunch. Better than a stuffy board room or office cubicle, a restaurant setting brings elements of class, style and fun to just about any business meeting. This outside-the-office setting allows people to get to know each other on a more personal level and personal relationships make for better business dealings.

The book is filled with excellent advice and interesting anecdotes on how to make all your lunch meetings more productive and successful. You'll discover how to create lunch opportunities, how turn every business lunch into a relationship building experience, which fork to use when, and so much more.

Even if you don't think of yourself as a salesperson, you'll still benefit from The Art of the Business Lunch. We all need to network productively and conduct ourselves in professional settings with grace and style; this book details just how to do that and so much more.

This is a fun book to read! Robin really lets her personality show through in the writing. The humorous antecdotes are great, but so is Robin's attitude throughout the book. A super book for anyone who needs to network.

I have been out of the need for the "Business Lunch" for about 15 years, I was always the one people took out to sell or introduce to. However, recently being hired to use my contacts to promote a friend's business, the tables were turned and I felt I needed to look at it from the other chair. This book really helped me look at the encounter from a different perspective, get the etiquette down and host these encounters more professionally as well as with more confidence. I saw a difference in my results immediately. It is a quick read, very direct and useful. Thanks!

This is a fabulous book for learning to entertain with sales in mind. It explains how to have a positive effect on others and sell yourself successfully during a meal or networking event. In today's world with the decline of social graces, this book is like a breath of fresh air. It gives practical and applicable tips and techniques to take relationships to a higher level. It teaches the importance of building solid relationships that will increase business. Great information...for anyone who needs to sell him/herself. I also had the opportunity to hear Robin Jay speak recently and the information she shared was solid gold.