Customer Reviews

The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I agree with reviewer that said this is a nice little REMINDER about how we can be better friends -
e.g.: Listen before you speak, empathize, and so on....
but I don't believe this book is an actual tool for helping you Make New Friends.

I also completely agree and was also frustrated with the reiteration of tips. It really is 35 tips stretched out to seem like 70 tips for the purpose of filling the pages of a book.

If you are looking for tips on how to make new friends in environments where you don't know a soul, or if you are looking to learn the art of approaching people and engaging them in conversation, and how to keep that conversation interesting, etc, this is not the book for you.

I could write a similar book for teenagers called "The Art of Learning to Drive" and tell them that Rule #1 is "When the light turns green, you go...." Oooh, and I bet you can guess what Rule #2 would be. Never mind providing the details about those pedals down on the floor of the vehicle and that the one on the left is the brake and the one on the right is the gas. A book that claims to provide some instructional assistance needs to have a certain degree of detail. You will not find that detail in this book.

I would highly recommend "The Art of Mingling" by Jeanne Martinet. Even if you don't want to become an expert on mingling, this author provides some really wonderful insight, suggestions and methods for approaching people that you don't know, great conversation starters, how to approach groups of people, and even how to get out of a conversation that is not going well. I think the tips in "The Art of Mingling" are all invaluable tools for making new friends.

In the short time of applying a handful of these rules in my friendships, I have come to realize how easy it is to make even the most long-standing friendships more profound and interesting. What I loved most of The Art of Friendship is appreciating that we can always make room for new and different relationships. Friendship is about making the simplest of efforts. And with 70 of these efforts now easily outlined for everyone, one can only imagine how the world might become a better place thanks to it being filled with better friends!

"The Art of Friendship" is not only an invaluable resource - it's a great read. Roger and Sally Horchow have peppered their well-written, fantastic How-To with personal anecdotes which are interesting, informative, and both complement and underscore their friendship tips brilliantly. This book is rife with wisdom and insight into how to develop, maintain, and deepen Friendhips - but it will not only make you a better friend, it will make you a better person. Buy it, read it, live it!

"Friendship, friendship, just the perfect blendship...When other friendships have been forgot....." We might wonder today just how many friendships have been "forgot." It's not necessary to detail the reasons for this - fast paced society, miles of separation, ad infinitum. Of course, in this respect, we're thinking of old friends - what about making new ones? Do we take the time to do that, do we know how?

Roger Horchow, founder of the luxury mail order house The Horchow Collection, and his daughter, Sally, have created a small treasure of a book which not only reminds us of the importance of friendship but also offers guidelines on how to nurture relationships of long standing and how to make new friends in today's hectic world.

Suggestions offered by the Horchow's are simple but true, such as this conversation technique: "To be an active participant in a conversation you must receive as well as give. Don't be so focused on your approach that you forget the goal: to get to know another person. A successful conversation, like a relationship, requires give and take--sometimes at the rigorous pace of a tennis rally and at other times as leisurely as a waltz--and you should be attuned to this pattern.
Allow your conversational partner the opportunity to respond; look for ways to draw them into the dance. Do not come on too strong: if you are overly loquacious, argumentative, or revealing, you will end up creating resistance just when you want to lower it. Worst of all, if you don't stop and let him or her respond, you might discourage your new conversational partner entirely."

Perhaps you sometimes wonder what an appropriate approach might be - you'll find advice on when to e-mail, when to telephone, when to write a note, and when to be there in person.

Throughout this all too short audio the Horchows share some of their experiences regarding friendship, one of the most valuable but perhaps often neglected aspect of our lives. It's enjoyable to hear these instances related in their own voices while the main narrative is ably provided by actor Holter Graham.

Highly recommended.

- Gail Cooke

Good things often come in small packages. The stylish design, thoughtful content and Horchow heritage make this simple little book an ageless, all-occasion gift for men as well as women.

The 1-2 pg. lessons or tools to nurture friendship are a quick read. However, I found myself returning to the book as a more thoughtful guide to working on friendships, one short lesson at a time.

Key points in the book that resonated for me: 1) deep friendships may be as emotionally fulfilling as romantic relationships, so why not invest more in creating them; 2) friendships should be selfless and not based on keeping score; 3) create an ongoing friendship journal; 4) banish banality in your conversation when meeting new people. Example: "Unless you are a meteorologist or a farmer, there is usually nothing vitally interesting in a discussion of the weather."

One of the book's quotes by Aristotle -- "Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit." -- is good advice in today's modern, immediate- gratification world. This little book teaches you big lessons on how to cultivate an ever-blooming friendship garden that will bear a lifetime of fresh flowers.

A nice little reminder of what a friend is and how we can push to become better in our relationships. I have always had issues with putting my self out on the line to find new friends. This book gave me a little more confidence to push myself to talk to that person I have never met before. I was frustrated with several of the tips that just seemed to be reiterations of tips that had already been given. Even though it says there are 70 tips it is really more like 35.

Over the years I've gained and lost numerous friendships. The friendships that remain seem to be authentic experiences that enhance my life. In "The Art of Friendship" the authors seem to focus on how to win and keep friends throughout your life.

The book begins with how we first connect with friends and then the authors divulge the secrets (rules) of keeping friendships healthy. There are practical ideas for making new friends like signing up for a cooking class. There is advice on how to keep in contact with long-distance friends. Writing a hand-written note instead of an e-mail is advised.

On the flip side if you are trying to get rid of a friend there are also some polite ways to voice your dissatisfaction. Getting out of a conversation with people you don't want to become friends with is also advised.

The authors obviously have a lot of friends and important acquaintances. They name drop throughout the book and this seems at least to be somewhat of a distraction from the main message of the book.

~The Rebecca Review

This book had potential. It was an easy read, and it was in bite size sections to make it easier to read when you didn't have a lot of time. Some of the ideas were good, but most were not anything that most people probably don't know already, and it was very repetitive. They also did a lot of name dropping that was not ever relevent to the stories, and that got to be really boring. While it is not uncommon to see this to some degree in many books, the amount that was used in this book was definitely over the top. I got this as a bargain book, so I am ok with the purchase, but I definitely wouldn't have wanted to have paid full price.

I'm so glad that I came across THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP by Roger Horchow and Sally Horchow before
my upcoming move to Asheville, North Carolina.

Knowing virtually nobody there, I'm somewhat apprehensive about
how to go about meeting new folks . . . yet the authors seem
to have made it simple for me by presenting--to quote the subtitle--70
SIMPLE RULES FOR MAKING MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS.

For example, here's one idea that I had never thought about:

* Host a party for your good friends and ask each of your guests to bring
one person that you don't know.

I then got a kick out of this suggestion for dealing with the problem
of forgetting somebody's name:

* Say, "Nice to see you" rather than "Nice to meet you." No one wants
to think they were so completely forgettable that you've blanked out
the first meeting.

Lastly, there was this useful suggestion for avoiding banalities that
get you nowhere in a conversation:

* Unless you are a meteorologist or a farmer, there is usually nothing
vitally interesting in a discussion of the weather. . . . Your goal is
to learn about the person you are talking to, not make empty noise.

I strongly recommend THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP to anybody
interested in making or meeting new friends--even if you think
you already have more than enough . . . by chance, even if you fall into the
latter category, you'll be pleasantly surprised to pick up some new
techniques that will help you strengthen existing friendships.

So far so good. I have employed the advice contained in this book over the past couple of weeks and it has improved my relationship with my friends, family and new acquaintances. This book contains common sense about relationships that has never been written and organized in this manner. The layout of the book is simple and easy to navigate (I like how the advice is broken down into 70 short "rules"). My only problems are these:

- These rules aren't backed my any scientific findings (there probably is some studies to back up these "rules" but the authors do not include or reference it). While the proof of the pudding is in the eating of the pudding, I think the authors' argument would be greatly strengthened if they included some of this information.

- The book is feminine in color and layout. I almost feel like I have to hide this book from my friends and family to avoid ridicule. Also, the paper is too heavy and glossy

- There is no Kindle version as of now. I would love to have a reference like this available to me from my iPhone so that I can do some quick reviewing before social situations.