Customer Reviews

The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict: Understanding Emotions and Power Struggles

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
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I have read countless self-help books; some I have taken to heart and others I have not. This work I found to be very interesting and enlightened me in many ways. The author gives you some clear revelations concerning conflicts that you will encounter in life; the emotions you will deal with and the why's of feeling as you feel.
He explains the concept of the 'power struggles' that we have within ourselves, and how important it is to work to understand them and make the necessary changes.
It is always hard to see ourselves as others see us, our flaws and weaknesses; but with understanding, comes the ability to change.

I enjoyed this work and plan on doing a little more study with this book and some self-examining. I think this book would profit all that take the time to read it and put into practice what is being told them. An interesting spin, not boring, but very insightful.
Shirley Johnson

This is the first book that I've read which establishes the relationship between emotions, power, and conflict. The book is easy to read and understand, and there are many thought-provoking examples and a self-inventory at the end of each chapter, and I found these to be quite helpful. If a person wants to understand conflict, he/she must first understand his/her sense of power and the emotions that we feel motivated by. This book explains these things very well, and I highly recommend it to everyone.

I have read a lot of self-help books in the past and I really enjoyed this one. It has a lot of useful tips to practice in daily life and it really helps you understand how emotions effect your interactions with other people. I finally can consciously identify the emotions I feel when dealing with the people in my life. This has helped to elimate many potential conflicts because I was able to change the outcome. I recommend this book highly.

It's such a great tool to have at my fingertips when trying to solve problems and understand people in my daily life, including my role in it. You don't have to read it chapter by chapter to finally get the information you need. You can find the section that your needing the advice on,read it, and the tools to help you are there. I look forward to more of your books! Thank you

This book is a wonderful eye-opener that gives practical tips which we can learn and apply. I enjoyed the way the book progressed from explaining the basics of how power systems may cause conflicts, and then offered many real-life examples of typical conflicts with suggestions on how they could be resolved. The range of settings was especially helpful, from family situations to at-work environments. The wrap-up, with exercises and explanations, was particularly useful. This book has prompted me to look within and to be more aware of the communications and emotions of others. A great book for those who want to have a better life and better relationships. Artie Lynnworth, author of "Slice the Salami - Tips for Life and Leadership, One Slice at a Time."

I've struggled with a bunch of issues at work and I enjoyed this very much. Its well organized and the concepts are presented well. It was a pleasant surprise.

Written by a psychologist, it is in the form of a textbook with Objectives at the beginning of each section and Questions to ponder at the end. The various quotes preceding Objectives are a nice touch and the illustrations for the most part look like M&Ms, making me wonder why this book was in the library and not in schools. It would be more effective in a psychology classroom, of which I had a taste in 1960 at Troy State College in Alabama.

The two-page list of emotions was interesting and helpful. Emotions help to form relationships, experience growth, and evaluate our performance, as we move through the various stages of life. Emotions help us to understand ourselves and each other. Some potent ones are fear, guilt, loneliness, sadness, love, hate, distrust and shame.

Everyone feels all the same emotions. It's what we do with them and how we perceive them which sets us apart. We need to balance emotion with logic. Instead of responding in a reactive manner, proactive is preferred to settle a conflict. We often mistake arrogance for pride.

The goal of most power struggles is to win, at any cost! We feel threatened by the other person. We need to protect ourselves any way we can when we feel threatened. Thus, a power exchange occurs with both verbal and non-verbal ways. Silence (and withholding info, attention or affection) is the most effective communication tool of all. There must be emotional input in all conflicts.

When forming new relationships with people, it is necessary to resolve any conflict to develop open paths of communication. Doing it is hard, but then it is easy for open, honest dialogue throughout the relationship. It is best at the beginning to make sure the relationship is important to you. Don't discount the other person's perspective.

He says that "age, experience, maturity, and wisdom are all independent issues." He used actual cases to demonstrate his ideas and advice. Erik Fisher is a psychologist; his co-author, Steven Sharp, is a freelance and technical writer. Together, they simplified the exercises promoted to help the reader to understand his emotions and change them, if needed. Power conflicts are not an ego thing but basic philosophy of life on all levels. It's something we need to learn how to handle. This is a start.