Customer Reviews

The Art of Mingling: Easy, Fun and Proven Techniques for Mastering Any Room

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(9)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

My thoughts after reading through this book was "It has to be a joke". At first it seems as though the author is only trying to use humor to break the ice and get the "minglephobic" out of their old ways of thinking. Unfortunately, as the chapters progress it becomes readily apparent that the author is not merely joking, and that the silly hints and lines suggested are the author's actual advice!

For example, the ADVANCED mingling techniques in the book suggest physically bumping into people, purposely mistaking them for someone else, using foreign accents, and wearing conversation pieces (such as a feather hat). The author also instructs one for offensive escape maneuvers to preform the following: spill something on that person; step on the person's foot, or otherwise hurt him. Unless these techniques sound realistic to you (and are really possible in your world of mingling), you would be better served looking elsewhere for a more serious effort on the topic.

In a perhaps strange twist, the text blatantly provokes the reader to lie in most situations. If I may quote directly from the book: "Being willing and able to tell a fib is the cornerstone of the art of mingling, the basis from which all techniques in this book are taught." Finally, the book is badly dated, with a whole chapter dedicated solely to mingling in the nineties.

Sadly, the author's joke here is entirely on the reader.

I bought this book in hopes of picking up a few simple tips on how to mingle among a new crowd. As I read through the first chapter I was, to say the least, very disappointed with the first advice... "picture everybody naked." How many times have we heard that one? And, why am I paying money to hear it again?
A little discouraged, I continuted to read on. Throughout the whole book it seems that all the author is teaching us is how to lie for the sake of conversation. I would hate to see what our society would become if we all side-stepped reality and only discussed 'safe' topics.
To those of you that want some good advice on how to mingle, don't buy this book.

The Art of Mingling Written by Jeanne Martinet, 150 pages, 7 chapters Reviewed by Olivia R. Hendricks

The Art of Mingling by Jeanne Martinet is a very beneficial book if read by an individual who had "minglephobia". In the book the author discusses many techniques to get a person started in a room full of strangers. She teaches and describes several scenarios to appeal to different people. She also gives some very helpful hints and examples for anyone on how to enter a room full of strangers and still feel comfortable. However some of the suggestions she made were a little strange, such as the idea of entering a room full of strangers and pretending to have your best friend by your side, imaginary of course. You would really get a good start there if people saw you talking to your imaginary friend. Many other points she made in the book were very good, such as whether or not to shake and how soon. She also gave a few example lines you could use for one liners to get the conversation started. " But where do you go from there?" you might ask. Ms. Martinet follows up with a chapter on how to continue the conversation once started. The reading of this chapter should be a must for everyone. She discusses about career talk whether or not to do it. Not! Career talk should never be discuss unless in situations like she discussed where you know about the career the person may be in or unless you are very interested in it, because if neither, you're on a dead end street for conversation. So save the career talk for work. Another thing the book has that is quite interesting is the use of the alphabet to strike up a conversation by choosing a letter of the alphabet and then a topic that starts with that letter. Great idea! As you move further into the book she tells you how to get out of a bad conversation smoothly without appearing to be a bad guy. This also is a must! Everyone has been in a situation where the conversation started off good, and then the next thing you know the person your talking to is telling you about their prostate. Yuck! Somebody throw a life preserver! The authors gives some terrific points on knowing the signs of a good conversation going bad and how to get out quick. She further goes on in the book to describe the advanced stages of mingling once you've got the basics down, such as "the art of piggybacking". This is very insulting to the average person. If you can't make your way around the room alone mingling, then you need to start back at the first chapter. Hanging on someone's shirt tale can often earn you the reputation as being a follower at a party, (someone everyone is annoyed by at the party). Towards the end of the book she talks about mingling in the nineties. She also gave some nineties topics to choose from when starting a conversation. She also gave some nineties buzzwords that everyone should be aware of. After you have read this book, you should be able to walk into any room with the confidence that you are going to make it and that everyone is there to see you. You should also feel as though you can talk to anyone and no longer have to mingle with the wallpaper. This book is not only entertaining but very informative. The reading of this book should be a must for anyone wishing for tips on good social skills.

This is a GREAT book to help you mingle... as for the other reviews, I agree completely with their one assertion: if you are painfully shy in life and can't easily talk to anyone, you probably need a different book... but if you just can't figure out how to approach parties, this is the book for you!!!

Here's my story: I live in Hollywood and work in the entertainment business... my job is requiring me more and more to go to entertainment biz parties and make contacts... I never knew a good way to do that... I am not shy about talking to people one-on-one when I know them but faced with a room full of partygoers (who I may or may not know) it was always VERY hard and awkard for me to figure out who to talk to, or even worse, what to talk about without sound foolish but still coming across as smart and fun! This book helped me a LOT with figuring out what to say (the alphabet trick is great) and more importantly, to help me relax and let my natural personality come through, instead of me being uptight because I'm focused on what I'm saying and if I'm "doing it right" and making a good impression.

Like I said, if you are comfortable talking to people individually (or with friends in small groups, for example over dinner with a few others)... but don't relish the idea of a party with strangers even through you know you "should" have a good time... this is a GREAT book for you.

This book is a waste of time and money. I was turned off because the author actually advises you to lie and misrepresent yourself in many situations. While reading the book I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if the advice was a joke, like during the section, "Practice you mingle on a nerd." The advice is clumsy and probably won't help. If someone comes up to you at a party and says, "how's life treating you?" they probably read this book.

Jeanne Martinet's book the "Art of Mingling" would have better been titled "An Overview of How To Be the Party's Fool." Her advice often degrades both the mingler and the group they wish to enter. Many of her tips actually separate the mingler from the rest of the party goers. Her worries over how someone may interrupt her remarks are well placed considering how snide and repulsive they are. Mrs. Martinet's callousness is uncalled for in any social setting. What happened to the strides the feminist movement has made? Mrs. Martinet's advice degrades both the mingler and the group she wishes to enter. The "Helpless Hanna" routine smacks of a female incapable of taking care of herself. The theory of pretending to be someone else, "star," achieves the same outcome. If everyone at a party choose to be someone they are not the purpose of minglingwould be lost. Her opening gambits concerning clothes and "a room with a view" is base and a turnoff. Most groups would see through the ploys and soon the mingler will be known as false. The definition of mingling, as given by the author, is to join with others. However, many of the tips keep the party mingler from joining with the group. There is never a nerd at a party. Everyone is there for a reason, and the mingler may find that they have much to contribute to the party. The same is true for the "Changing of the guard" exit routine. The "dot, dot, dot" trick is degrading to the speaker and all other's in the group because they know that the mingler is not paying attention. In her smooth escape the mingler comes off as rude and superficial. The advice to be constantly moving from group to group may appear to other's that the mingler is the center of the action, but they lose the meaning of mingling. Even constantly scanning the room removes the mingler from the group from the beginning. Throughout the book Mrs. Martinet is concerned with how others will see her. If the antidote of her mother telling the author everyone in the room is more concerned with themselves is true, the author may wish to apply it. The audacity of playing with another language, speaking style, or an accent is risky at best. What would be the consequences of saying something in Spanish or German and receiving an answer? The use of accents and speaking style especially a regional one is offensive. Even her advice to use "little white lies" to make yourself better is snide. She may be surprised that in the real world most people consider the little lie repulsive and a turnoff to the present company. It may surprise the author how fast the warning that there is a liar in at the party gets around the room. It is not wise for any new mingler to follow any of the advice Mrs. Martinet offers. Try to be oneself and relax. Any gracious person will realizes that help is needed and most will come to the nervous person. The parties that Mrs. Martinet attends are not the norm. Hopefully, one day she will come down off the horse and write a decent book. She has a wonderful writing style.

The Art of Mingling, by Jeanne Martinet, is an interesting and enjoyable read. Published by St. Martin's Press of New York in 1992, this book is certainly worth the asking price. Whether you're a wallflower or a master mingler, everyone can learn something from this book.

The book opens aptly enough with "Overcoming Minglephobia". Ms. Martinet offers several solutions to help overcome the initial fright of walking in to a bustling room of partygoers. Most everyone has heard of the "Naked Room" synopsis, but over half a dozen more ideas are offered to help ease yourself into the room with a smile on your face.

So, now you're in, what's next? Tools and rules for continuing conversation is the section everyone can relate to. From a list of the Do's and Don'ts of conversation, to an A-Z index of sample opening lines, the information provided in this chapter pays for the book itself.

As the book progresses, the art of escape and fancy footwork are explained. Haven't we all forgotten someone's name, or worse yet called them by someone else's? Dealing with faux pas is covered in-depth, which makes it a must read for anyone who has gotten tongue tied, or is a klutz, those who get caught gossiping, and those that often find their foot in their mouth.

The consistant theme throughout this book is having fun. If you try to "fake it till you make it", you may find yourself having a good time without trying to do so.

Although some of the suggestions by the author seem off the cuff, and perhaps offensive (like trying out your conversation skills on a NERD first), the overall nature of this book is meant to be witty and useful. Accomplishing this task, the book rates 4 out of 5 stars.

This book needs a revision and bad. This book was first published in 1992 and was first revised....never. There are a few interesting techniques in this book but they all seem a little outdated. There is even a section with old early 90's slang. Read this book for it's humor but do not take it seriously

The Art Of Mingling By Jeanne Martinet Published by St. Martin Press New York 1992

The Art Of Mingling is a well designed and progressive attention getter that analyzes mingling as a learned behavior, an art.

The book is organized into three main ideas, each engaging the "art" to form a connecting prospective. In the first main idea the author exposes how to make a graceful, impressive entrance by the use of opening lines which are "sure hits." Next, the author discusses how to make a good impression using strategies that require personal skill. Finally the author exposes how to insult and get even with people tactfully, in a social situation.

The term mingling in relationship to a social gathering implies having a good time, enjoying an emotional outlet from daily stress by relaxing and engaging in friendly conversational topics; taking a break from worrying about structural rules and just sort of "letting loose" in an effort to release tension.

The author eliminates the above factors of mingling and describes it as sort of a "players club," with being phony as one of the chief attributes. There is even a time limit on how long to socialize with each person. Another attribute is lying. The author stresses that being a good mingler includes the ability to "lie through your teeth." He goes on further to say that "white lies" are essential to survival in this art, and "being able to fib" is the cornerstone of the art of mingling. Lying is the first of the survival laws.

A positive important skill is to utilize and develop the skill of non-verbal communication. Non verbal communication is used in this art to sensor when people are uncomfortable or irritated, and sort of gently change the topic of conversation (or do whatever necessary) to make every one feel comfortable.

Rudeness (of course in a tactful mannerism) is another skill that is learned and utilized in this art, according to the author. In reality the fact that mitigating circumstances may be associated with the rude behavior (such as drinking to much) at social gatherings, this does not constitute a valid reason or justification to respond rudely.

This book is well equipped with moral conflicting behaviors. For example, deception, dishonesty, and rudeness are critical items under the construction of mingling. For this reason it would definitely not be a book A mother would recommend to her teenager (who is already experiencing difficulty with fitting in socially, due to personal inner confusion, in trying to master a identity crisis) to read and obtain advice from.

Lots of down-to-earth advice on how to handle yourself at social events. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to strengthen their communications skills at parties and have more fun at them in the process.