Customer Reviews

The Art of Mingling: Proven Techniques for Mastering Any Room

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

I liked the introduction, in which the author talked about her friends asking her how she had managed to talk to everyone at the event they had just been at, while they had failed to mingle. She does give a few useful tips in the book, but don't buy this book if mingling is not, for you, an end in itself, as it is for the author. If, for example, you want to improve your mingling skills in order to make friends, this book won't help at all. The book might help you learn to meet everyone in a room, spending 30 seconds or one minute on each person, but the sorts of things she suggests you say to people made me cringe. Her system will help you meet people who are the most confident and who are fellow mingling lovers, but if you want to put people at ease so that you can discover who might be someone with whom you might like to create a friendship, her suggestions will prove counterproductive. If you want to mingle to make friends (or at least not to destroy any hope of making a friend or two) read the excellent book by Don Gabor, How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends. Finally, The Art of Mingling actually makes the author sound rather shallow, silly and even narcissistic (and believe me, I have nothing against finding ways to get away from the party bore with bad breath who has you cornered, etc). Disappointing, unless, for you, mingling is an end in itself.

I heard about this book in the Style section of the New York Times and was immediately intrigued. I'm one of those guys who SEEM outgoing and outspoken (when I'm with my friends), BUT throw me in a mixed party or work function and I totally clam up. For closet shy types like me, this book is extremely helpful, full of clever ideas, and a lot of fun to read. The author is extremely witty, sometimes silly, but always insightful. Her greatest revelation is that most people at parties are thinking about THEMSELVES, not YOU. Just this week, I got a chance to try some of the author's advice at a couple Christmas parties and gosh-darn-it. It worked! I stopped worrying about trying to impress people and actually managed to relax and have fun. Very cool. Check it out.

I'm so glad the author included a lenghty chapter on various means of escape, because if I ever meet a group of people like the author, I will want to escape from them as quickly as possible.

Also, avoid the audio version at all costs. It's painful to listen to.

. . . to the virtual reality that threatens to replace genuine human interaction with "my space." Get out of your space into someone else's before it's too late. Have some fun. And if you can't remember how, read this pithy and funny little blue book. Mingling. . . what a charming and attractive concept! Who would dare to think it today? Yet in spite of the many false seductions that our endless gadgets begile us with, not a single one of them will help us navigate a room full of real people. Ms. Martinet teaches us that the Art of Mingling is learning how to let our defenses down gracefully, and I dare say, artfully, in order to get other people to let -their- defenses down, thereby greatly enhancing the enjoyment and potential of a casual encounter. It takes a little know-how, of course, and that is where "The Art of Mingling" comes in. Like any art, mingling requires a bit of technique. I found this book full of exceedingly useful tips to immediately gain me some footing where I have repeatedly stumbled before. . . all presented with good humor and intelligence. Ah, the simple joys of a book. . . now, where the hell did I put that darned iPod charger?

This book -- well, this book and Bacardi -- cured me of my social anxiety disorder, or whatever it was that made me basically melt down in social situations. I got it as a gift from somebody who had seen me implode at parties, and it got me to see meeting strangers as an opportunity for fun and exploration, believe it or not, instead of nauseating dread. It worked right away the first time I road tested it. The book has a lot of useful information, it's also written in a hilarious, sympathetic style that lets you know the author has her own misgivings and insecurities -- which makes it even more convincing and helpful.

If you want to act like Phoebe from FRIENDS, then this is your bible. Otherwise, avoid it. The jist of this is lie, manipulate and generally behave like a ditzy deb. Oh, and it's utterly useless for even the most effeminate men. I honestly did not find even one thing in it's entirety that I could use, and as a business man and church security staff, I mingle constantly. If she ever got invited back to parties based on this behavior, it was probably for laffs.

This has some good advice but this also has some advice that I would consider to be very rude and antisocial. She said in the book that it is ok to LIE and spill food on people you do not like. What? That is awful advice!

I would not suggest you read or buy this book for that reason. People who don't know any better may not be able to understand that the author is a bit on the eccentric side and doesn't have any real degree in sociology or interpersonal communication; therefore you need to be very critical of her advice.

I expected more seasoned approaches to engaging socially. Many of the techniques given are cliche-ish, tired or "cute". If I had browsed the book, I wouldn't have purchased it.

I do not look down on self-help books. Many people dismiss them as irrelevant because the advice they give is straightforward; but oftentimes we need straightforward advice, explained in sufficient detail for us to own up to it. Personally, I have often introduced useful changes in my life after reading self-help books that are by no means rocket science.

Having said this, and lathough I am open to new ideas, I really regretted spending money and time on this book. I found absolutely no valuable insight in this book; as for the advice it gives, it is either completely obvious, or potentially risky. Some recommendations are really disputable. Furthermore, many of these tips are only suitable for women.

Overall, the impression I get from this book is that it's an amateurish exercise from a rather superficial woman who likes cocktail parties. Several readers enjoyed its humor; I didn't. I definitely would not recommend this book.

This book contains many useful tips for women. Men, however, could never get away with most of the ideas such as the conversation starters. What might seem cute or playful when done by a woman, will come across as stupid if done by a man. If you are a man, avoid this book or risk people saying "is that guy for real?" behind your back.