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38 of 38 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "A genius to the end"
First Sentence: The Bersekers lay arranged in a spiral under the rune stone, looping down, down into the earth--boots out, heads in, as the spell demanded.

How I Acquired the Book: Borrowed, via e-Book, from my friend.

The Review: 2012 in the book world just seems to be the Year of Finishing Massive Series. We had the ending of the Warriors series...
Published on July 17, 2012 by thehydrogenpoptart

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11 of 15 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not whelmed. Not whelmed at all.
Here we go. I glanced through the comments, and apparently most people have loved this book.

Not me.

Okay, I'll admit this book has its bright spots, which is why I gave it a two star as opposed to a one, but.

Throughout reading this book, there was this phase stuck in my head: "I THINK YOU BROKE MY BRAIN." And I'm saying this as someone...
Published on August 5, 2012 by Rider of the Winds


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38 of 38 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "A genius to the end", July 17, 2012
First Sentence: The Bersekers lay arranged in a spiral under the rune stone, looping down, down into the earth--boots out, heads in, as the spell demanded.

How I Acquired the Book: Borrowed, via e-Book, from my friend.

The Review: 2012 in the book world just seems to be the Year of Finishing Massive Series. We had the ending of the Warriors series (the 16th book), back in April. And now, we have the eighth and final book in the Artemis Fowl series. Has it really been 11 years since we were first introduced to Artemis in 2001? Oh, I read that book at a much later date, but the fact is, this series has been going on for a long, long time. And now it ends here. One last ride with Artemis, Holly, Butler, Foaly--I could go on and on. Mr. Colfer created brilliant characters over the past 7 books. This is their finale.

And it's beautiful.

The action picks up from Chapter One. Opal is back--another great character, but an evil, diabolical one. And she has another plan, one that's going to make her invincible. Not only that, but it involves bringing dead warriors back to life, and possessing Artemis's family. If this does not sound awesome to you, I do not know what will. This book flies by, all three-hunrder-whatever pages of it. I read it in a single day.

The action picks up from Chapter One and never lets go. This is undoubtedly an action-oriented book, but the characters, as mentioned before, are great too. Artemis is more "geniuser" (sorry, no other way to put it) than ever before. Holly is a courageous, feisty female lead. Mr. Colfer manages to sprinkle humor throughout the book, and some lines will leave you in stitches. Whenever Foaly or Mulch is in a scene, prepare to laugh. The previous books in the series were funny, but this one reaches new heights. I would go so far to say this book is the funniest and best book Mr. Colfer has written. Not only that, but as a reward for following Artemis, he manages to sprinkle some references to past books throughout this one.

And the ending. It will make some readers cry. It's just so great...I can't even begin to describe it. After so many books, it is a perfect way to end up the series. So, Artemis Fowl fan, when you go to your bookstore or library to get this book (because you must, if you are a fan of this series), do not hesitate when you begin to read it, knowing that it is the last book. Embrace it with open arms. Know that after 11 years, this series has finally reaches the end it deserves. An ending that the fans deserve. In essence, the perfect ending. Thank you, Artemis and Holly, for being awesome.

Mr. Colfer, I eagerly await your next series.

--reviewed by a teenager.
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22 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fabulous Ending to a truly Epic Series., July 11, 2012
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I have followed the Artemis Fowl series the whole ride, and let me tell you, this is the best. It took some heart-break to come to terms that the adventures were ending, but this was worth it. The ending does end with Artemis finally becoming a hero, but also leaves room for thought as the ending connects to the beginning of the series.
Some people had some doubts as to whether Eoin Colfer could pull off the next after his somewhat sub-par 'Atlantis Complex', but Colfer took it up a notch higher than all the others. I, like others had some doubts over the aforementioned book. But it set up some neat plot roots and fillers; as did the 'Time Paradox', one of my personal favorites.
The last guardian has been a fabulous ending to a wonderful series. Everyone is sad to see our genius go, but hopefully he will live on in fan fictions. This book wraps up everything Artemis strived to do, leaves room for thought, and gives us a sese of closure.
Thank you, Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl.
You have carried us many a mystical journey that stole our breath and sent our hearts racing. Cheers! Slainte Mhaith!
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome Ending!, July 14, 2012
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As a teacher I have recommended this series to my students. The writer has not let us down. A perfect ending, that's all I have to say.
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12 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Wonderful Book, July 10, 2012
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MK (california) - See all my reviews
In this book, "Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian", concludes the Artemis Fowl series masterfully with an unexpected twist at the end. In a nutshell ,Artemis, Holly and the whole gang get together to try and stop another one of Opal's horrific and dangerous plots. But if they are unable to freeze the deranged Pixy's plan, the consequences are disastrous for both the human and fariy kind. During the book, important truths are discovered by the gang, secrets are unveiled, and ultmate sacrifices are made. If you have read and enjoyed the Arrtemis Fowl series , I suggest this book for you!
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11 of 15 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not whelmed. Not whelmed at all., August 5, 2012
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Here we go. I glanced through the comments, and apparently most people have loved this book.

Not me.

Okay, I'll admit this book has its bright spots, which is why I gave it a two star as opposed to a one, but.

Throughout reading this book, there was this phase stuck in my head: "I THINK YOU BROKE MY BRAIN." And I'm saying this as someone whose favorite of the Artemis Fowl Series is a book called the TIME PARADOX, for heaven's sake. No, really. Mumble jumbo with magic and black magic and magic locks. I just had to check the book to remember that it was called a lock, and normally I think I'd remember something like that. Okay, some things I had real trouble understanding:

1. Opal's... resurrection? Okay. Moment Koboi the Younger was shot, they combusted, because Time Paradox! I got that part. Koboi the Elder pulls herself back together from sheer willpower. I do not get this part. Combust Koboi should be dead/unexisting and yet she's still around to pull her body back together with... what? Where'd that body mass come from? Body gets turned into energy, use willpower to turn energy back into body? Aaaand where'd she get that black magic from? Why'd she need to be in the chute/power core/ whatever it is? Maybe I'm thickheaded, but the writing at this part apparently wasn't enough to convey the answers to my head.

2. The lock thing. Some 10000 or so years ago the Beserkers were buried with their boots out, and were being kept together with black magic. Hold it. HOLD IT. As I understand it, the second lock was a last ditch thing by Bruin Fadda (Whose name is so hard to remember I thought it was Brune Fredo when I started writing this review), using black magic to form a lock that could potentially kill all the humans on the earth. Okay. Great. So why are the Beserkers, who are part of the FIRST lock, "sealed with Bruin Fadda's black magic"? And mind, he's doing this after being mortally wounded by that Shaylock guy, who was trying to make it so humans could open the first lock, and so that he could use the Beserkers against the fairies. What happened to Shaylock? Oh never mind that he's just a background character who's supposed to motivate Bruin into creating the second lock. Except I don't see how a FAIRY (iirc the book mentions the irony of Opal, a fairy, using the locks) going against his own kind for no real reason could have motivated Bruin to create the second lock to kill the humans.

3. The first time the tale of Bruin and Shaylock was told, it's like, oh, gotta stop Opal because lock open= people dead. No variables. So whatever happened in the last part of the book? The lock was created so the user could choose to kill either humans or fairies? WAIT WHAT WHAT WHAT?!!? Shaylock tainted it? Shaylock was going to taint the first lock, and he's dead/dying by the time Bruin Fadda created the second lock, so that's ruled out. And if the lock kills every single human on the planet if opened plus possible ice age, what the heck happened back there? Killed all fairies in a small area plus one human with a fairy eye without creating an ice age. What.

4. Typical Artemis Fowl plot- ON NO ALL HOPE IS LOST JUST GOT SO OUTWITTED WITH OPAL. Then.. Oh YES ARTEMIS SAVED THE DAY AGAIN. But. What. Was. With. The. Hand. Thing. The first lock handprint could be pressed with a human handprint who probably doesn't have magic anymore. Fine, accepted as some magic mumble jumbo I missed. Nopal's hand fills the only-Opal-can-do-it handprint. Nopal's a clone, yes... same DNA and blah blah blah. But this is MAGIC. Y'know, I was kinda thinking of less same DNA in a SCIENCE! way and more Nopal doesn't have a soul, probably. Yet this "very perceptive magic" accepted her. Ohhkaaay. Meh, let it pass because Nopal's a copy of Opal, right?

5. Mumbleh, I'm getting tired. And I haven't even started with the more minor ones yet. Well, here's number 5: Bruin Fadda stayed behind to collapse the lip of the valley. AHEM. Excuse me? Why would you need to do that? Stay behind alone in mist, collapse the valley, then retreat. He didn't seem to get the chance and things didn't turn out too messy.

6. Bruin Fadda, legendary hater of humans. SO WHY DIDN'T HE JUST WIPE THEM OUT INSTEAD OF CREATING A REALLY COMPLICATED SECOND LOCK THING.

7. Artemis in the Plan. One that would rely on Opal and Foaly's traits. Basically, what would be called a Batman Gambit. I'll make a stretch here and just assume that the reliance on Foaly's paranoidness is in obtaining the two items he asks for. The second, hard to obtain item is obviously Nopal, but what is the first item, the toy in Foaly's desk?

8. In the Lost Colony, Artemis teleports a bomb via removal of silver bracelet to Demon Land. As they vanish, Butler thinks about how the boy never goes to the bathroom without a plan B.. Cut back to this book. In the barn, AMBUSH. TRAP. WHATEVER. Holly thinks about Artemis's two weaknesses, one of which is he's so confident in his intelligance he never makes a plan B. Are you kidding me. Even if it's just the difference in how a bodyguard and a fairy friend think, he's the guy who considered 8 plans (And calculated the succeed percentage. Probably should have calculated this one's too, figured out there was a fail chance, and made a back-up plan) in the Opal Deception! Even if he couldn't think up another one given the circumstances, that's no reason to fall apart.

9. Holly's ten times better at Artemis at flying that lightweight plane with the laser that for some reason, they didn't use to fry the lock with. I'll pass that by and blame the stolen/broken battery. Back to the 10x better thing. Holly's an accomplished shuttle pilot, yes. But if you take into account the probable difference between that plane and a fairy shuttle, and the fact that Artemis has been flying planes since age 9, Artemis would be better then Holly. Not to mention the foot flap problem. Where'd that go when Holly takes over?

That's 9, and I only read the book once. I'm willing to bet if I read it a second time specifically looking for mistakes, as well as get around to finishing the Atlantis Complex, I'll find more.

Note: I've dabbled in comics for some time now, and that may have some bearing on two things:
1. Opal Koboi, again. 8 books in a series, and let's see how many times she pops up: That time in the Arctic Incident where she orchestrates the Goblin thing, that time where she created a clone of herself and escaped in the Opal Deception, and this time. I didn't mind Opal the first time, nor her brilliant escape in the second, but three times in a total of eight books is a bit much, and add that to the messily written part...

2. Artemis got killed and resurrected. I like happy endings. Really. But having a character sacrifice his life then get resurrected in a morally dubious way is kinda taking the impact out of it. Though characters die and get resurrected in comics so much I have a personal dislike for this kind of thing, so this is handwaveable.

If you read through to here, Congratulations. I do think this is the longest review I have ever given.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars The boy genius sputters to the end, March 4, 2013
So while I really enjoyed The Last Guardian, it kind of continued that downward trend that the other recent Artemis Fowl books have exhibited. I posit that Eoin Colfer's heart just hasn't been in the last few. There were some really clever aspects of the plot and the action, but for the most part things progressed in a rather pedestrian manner, without real excitement. The "twist" at the end mostly just left me feeling empty, slightly confused, and mildly perturbed. There was minimal resolution. It's unfortunate, because I feel like Artemis Fowl as a series had oodles of potential, but that it has gone untapped with overpowered characters that have to be kept from the action, as well as a lack of real character development. The character interactions have become less and less complex, and character motivations seem completely one dimensional and transparent. So while there were some nuggets of fantastic ideas in here, and while things did move along, I miss the Artemis Fowl I used to love.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointed :(, March 10, 2013
*SPOILER*
As much as I have enjoyed this series, the plots twists and the quirky characters, I must say that I was disappointed by the ending. It may be the end of the Artemis Fowl series, but it is not Colfer's best work. It seemed to leave the characters in an ambiguous fog. The evil pixie Opal is finally vanquished, but there was no real closure for the characters. The fairies remain below ground and technology was destroyed for no apparent reason.I felt that the story was rather cobbled together by someone who was tired of his own characters. In addition, the idea of the New Age hippies taking over the earth seems trite and ridiculous. In a strange way, I'm glad Colfer finished the series, simply because he seems to be tired of his people and it's better to be done with them rather than to milk for more money and less quality material.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars not qute as good as I had hoped, November 28, 2012
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As this is the final book in the series I was a bit disappointed in the whole outcome. The book just seemed to me a bit too rushed through, like Mr. Colfer didn't want to write this book as he did the previous others. So he just got it over with to end the series. At least that's how it felt to me while I read the book. But all things must come to and end and so has the Artimis Fowl series. I do rather enjoy Mr. Colfer's writting style and have read a few of his other books as well. So I'm not giving up on him. Just thought that this particular ending to the series could have been a bit better but again, it's his series...I'm just the reader. :)
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "THE THRILLING SAGA OF A YOUNG GENIUS!", July 10, 2012
Eoin Colfer concludes the compelling series of 'Artemis Fowl' in this suspenseful and tense story about how the whole gang must destroy a terrible and dangerous plan, or else! The plot is as evil as the person who created it, and the consequences could be horrific. Secrets and truths are revealed, tension is everywhere, and sacrifices must be made. This thrilling story has you biting your nails as you wait for the final result. Remarkable story, colorful characters, and Highly Recommended!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Great book to end the series., March 5, 2013
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I liked it, truly, for the great story telling, but the thing I liked the most about the main character was his ingenuity throughout the series. But by the time this book came out, all the characters seem to be... predictable. All the clues to what he would do in the end is laid out throughout the book clear as day. Very little cloak and dagger to it. Artemis is no longer devious, no more edge to him. It's like having a lion tamed to be a house cat. I'm not sure what else to say about it.
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Artemis Fowl 8: The Last Guardian
Artemis Fowl 8: The Last Guardian by Eoin Colfer (Audio CD - July 10, 2012)
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