Customer Reviews

As I Have Loved You: A Novel

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This is not your traditional Christian fiction.

As I Have Loved You feels a whole lot more like the lives of the complicated believers I rub shoulders with, and dare I say, live with.

Leigh is prickly, edgy, judgmental and her motivation seems so right. After all, she only wants what's best for her son, Jeff.

Jeff, an untried lover of the down-trodden, trained to be compassionate and loving by a mom who sacrificed much for him.

Characters who screw up, love the Lord with pitiful and pathetic offerings and rotten motivations, Leigh and Jeff are a really good example of American Christianity. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Needless to say, but I will anyway, this book may not sit well with you. It's not escapism, it's realism. Written well and with a twist or two, it is heartbreakingly frustrating. Not the sitcom crash and recovery in 20 minute model of storytelling. If you can't read about a Christian who sins and lives to seek forgiveness and is left with scars but is drenched in grace, don't pick it up.

But if you are seeking a story that will challenge you, one infused with reconcilation, forgiveness, grace and heartbreak, pick up a copy.

Deeply spiritual, totally loving without the syrup, and a myriad of characters one can form a relationship with. Leigh is the single mom of Jeff, a 21 yr. old ADD sufferer, and she loves him to the point of smothering, truly believing she knows what is best for him. I distrusted Leigh from the beginning.

Jeff, whom I dearly loved from the first mention of his name, has a full and heavy load, fighting ADD, attending college, working and being the perfect son. Then he met Jessica.

Jessica, whom I cried for, will never be good enough for Jeff according to Leigh. Her troubled past and present make her second class and Leigh sets to break them up. However, his first love is strong enough to cause Jeff to defy his mom, his church and his Biblical teachings. Leigh is devastated and heartbroken, angry and vindictive. She has absolutely no clue she is just the same as a person she is hating and judging.

John, Leigh's first and only real love "disappeared" just out of high school, and she has carried a torch for 25 years, desperate to know why he never answered any of her letters. A chance viewing of him on the TV sends her in search of him and some answers. What she finds out changes the direction of all their lives and love-hate grow stronger and stronger.

John is so spiritual, he was my hero, and seemed to step right out of the pages of the Bible as well as history. He is the type of man every person would love to meet at least once in their lifetime. His spirituality, patience, love and honesty truly grip the reader from the first.

There is family conflict between Leigh and her parents because of the favoritism toward her brother, RJ. Her dad is now suffering from cancer, and there is infinished business between siblings and parents....lots of it.

There are surprises and shocks, in some cases I actually found myself getting angry because things did not go the way I wanted for my heroes. This is because the author grabs your attention, walks the characters right in front of you, and refuses to let go of your interest, a truly amazing feat.

Jessica and her pain show the rocky road of sorrow that many of today's unwanted babies have as their lot in life. Desertion, mistreatment and rape have been her past and drugs her present, but Jeff loves her so deeply that he is willing to overlook it all and help her through...but they really need AND WANT the love and support of his mom. At one time they thought they might get her support, but when the chips were down, it wasn't there. A truly heartbreaking love story of a young couple.

This book is so deeply spiritual it has one heading to the pages of the Bible to see what is written there....even with it being a fiction book, it is so touching and grabs both heart and soul.

I am forever grateful for getting this book, and sincerely hope there is a sequel, but if not, it stands on its' own. Thank you Nikki and may God continue to bless your writing. I have a new top author on my list..YOU

As I Have Loved You is the perfect title for this book. Not only was it a page-turner, but there were some powerful illustrations within it's pages. This "love" story touched a deep place in my heart that few novels reach. Plus, it made me cry. Not a miserable-type cry, but a what-a-touching-message cry. I connected so well with the characters that I literally hurt when they hurt. I sensed the same deep regret, the kind where you wish you could go back and do something over again, but you can't.

I found the subplot with Jeff, Leigh's son, particularly compelling, especially the conflict regarding intimacy with his girlfriend and the values he was raised on. Also, the lessons Leigh learned about unconditional love through her son's experience were priceless. Very well done. It was like God held a mirror in front of Leigh's face and insisted she take a good, hard look. So true!

Leigh Scott is a widowed, single mother who wants the best for her son Jeff. She would like him to graduate from college, land a secure job, and start a family. However, Jeff, who was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) at a young age, has a God-given compassion for people. And his non-judgemental acceptance of all has unintended consequences.

Jeff starts dating Jessica, a girl with a questionable past and seemingly non-existent future. Soon, Jeff's grades drop as quickly as his sober determination to achieve the goals he's worked toward all his life, and Leigh finds herself caught in a relational tornado

To complicate matters further, Leigh is an author with a looming book deadline, a father battling cancer, and her former boyfriend and first love, a strong Christian Native American, coming back in her life.

* * * * * * * *

This is the first book I've read by this author. I didn't know what to expect and was pleasantly surprised. Arana does a great job with her characterization by making us really feel for her characters. She makes them human with real flawes and yet showing their redeeming values.

Her character, Jessica, (I won't give too much away) anyway, Jessica has lived a less than stellar life, she's making a mess of Leigh's son's life and to put it honestly, sucking the life out of him and dragging him into a life of despair. What Arana does so well is make us feel for the girl, even though she's a mess, and she never quits being a mess, we still see her redeeming value and find ourselves praying the girl gets the help she deserves.

By the end of the book, Leigh realizes her own flaws as a Christian and sees herself for the judgmental person she's become. How many times in our own walk with God do we find ourselves feeling self-righteous and as much as I hate saying it...better than others? I'll confess it right here, I judge people all the time, only to be convicted by God with that little still voice saying "Sabrina, isn't my grace sufficient for them too?"

I think that's what I loved about this book, it was full of flawed people doing the best they could. Both Christians and non-Christians. And that's real life folks.

If I had to find a fault with the book I'd say they didn't do justice to her cover. There was so many neat things they could have done to incorporate the story line that I admit I might not have picked it up by cover alone if I'd have seen it in the bookstore. If you get the chance, pick up your copy today. As I Have Loved You: A Novel

Wow! Another great book by Nikki Arana. It is very moving and thought provoking but I didn't expect any different. This book takes you through just about every emotion. I did not want to put it down.

"As I Have Love You" is another great novel by Nikki Arana. This book made me hungry for more of the Holy Spirit and His leading. Leigh, the main character learns to "let go" of her only son when he moves out and away from the direction of God. Leigh learns to trust God with the seeds that she had planted in her only sons life. Jeff's life is a picture of God's mercy and grace. Read this story and feel the love that the Father lavishes upon us as children of God. ~Shelly of Chadron MOPS

Wow. Really, that's the first word that springs to mind when you ask me to sum up Nikki Arana's new release, AS I HAVE LOVED YOU. She grabbed me in the prologue, when she parts the misty veil between heaven and earth and reveals the plan of God on one boy's life, and she kept me hooked until the last page. This book made me cry--which is a real feat--and kept me thinking for days on end.

Leigh Scott is a woman who has worked hard to win that morsel of security in her life, and now everything rests on her son. Jeff's been fighting severe ADD all of his life, but he's finally almost done college and has a career lined up. She's had to give up many of her own dreams to help her son reach his, she's had to protect him from her disaster of a marriage so that he carried only good memories of his father. Now it's finally time to focus on herself a little, to turn her modest writing career into one worthy of the call she feels on her life. But how is she supposed to focus on the proposal that's been requested when Jeff's spending so much time with a girl that can only mean trouble?

Jeff's always seen thing in people that others don't. And in Jessica he sees a beautiful girl with auburn hair who's been hurt so much but has always managed to rise above it. His mom doesn't much like their blossoming relationship, but how can he deny Jessica when their friendship is all she has? Still, he doesn't intend things to go the way they go. And when the situation gets continually worse, he's not sure how to repair the damage. All he knows is that he loves both women and will do whatever it takes to keep them both in his life.

The touch of the Holy Spirit plays a huge role in AS I HAVE LOVED YOU, and the story addresses the struggle and misconception that can go hand and hand with seeking that power, as well as the beauty and grace that accompany it when it finds a pure and open heart. The characters are deep and flawed and fighting desperately for their faith, but each chapter hammers home the lesson of the title: that if we're to truly please Him, we must love one another as He has loved us.

Arana manages something spectacular in this book. Her writing is a scalpel that cuts straight into the heart, and she reveals truths that both hurt and heal. As we look into the deepest longings of Leigh and Jeff and Jessica and John, an old friend of Leigh's, we see different sides of the same problem, different wounds seeking the same balm. Each character grows and shifts and changes, alternately taking steps forward on the path to God and then slipping away down the path to self. But it's the journey they each choose to make that really illuminates the depths of humanity within them; and it's the place they finally reach that made me blink back tears and wonder what wonders await me behind the misty veil.

This book is a treasure to read and will stay with you long after the final page is read. Nikki Arana created a set of characters who are real people and your heart will connect with theirs.
Leigh Scott is an author, a widow, a Christian and a single mother. Her son, Jeff is a young man who has struggled through life with ADD and learned to manage it. As he works toward his degree in college, he and Leigh have a straight forward plan set for his life.
Then Jeff meets Jessica. Jessica is the love of his life, but her troubled past affects her relationships with everyone she meets. As Jessica and Jeff make some bad choices and struggle through the consequences, Leigh determines she must save her son from his mistakes, including Jessica. In the midst of it all when tragedy strikes, Leigh must explore her own past to find strength and faith enough to face the future.
The family relationships in this book are believable and true. The life choices each person makes are difficult and real. The faith thread woven throughout it neither preachy nor cumbersome, rather it is like a beautiful thread to highlight the love story. And in the end, that is what this book is, a love story. It is a love story about a mother and a son, a son and his wife, a widow and an old flame, a father and a daughter and more than anything God and His children.
Pick the book up for relaxing reading. When you put it away you will know your heart has been changed.

As others have already said, this book may not be an easy read for some. It speaks to the inner heart and often reveals secrets about ourselves we'd rather not acknowledge.

Leigh Scott, a writer, and a Christian, loves her son Jeff deeply. When he becomes involved with a woman Leigh deems totally unsuitable for him, she does everything in her power to drive them apart. But Jeff holds fast and the mother-son relationship becomes strained.

At the same time, Leigh's former love appears back in her life--a man her father considered unsuitable for his daughter and successfully drove away. Leigh finds herself unable to fogive her father for the loss of her true love.

The irony is that while Leigh wants to rekindle the old flame and struggles with forgivenss, she is completely blind to the parallel in her own treatment of her son's romance. I admit, there were times I didn't like her very much. Times when I wanted to jump into the pages and shake some sense into her, like, "Can't you see what your doing?" (I'd say that's the mark of a great writer - to get the reader that involved.)

Two love stories, eerily similar, a generation apart. Only tragedy will open Leigh's eyes to the truth about herself and enable her to find forgiveness.

Leigh Scott's perfect world begins to crumble when her son, Jeff, becomes involved with what appears to be a most unsuitable girl. Despite her Christian faith, Leigh finds herself hating the girl and the negative influence she has on Jeff's life. At the same time, she has reconnected with her first love and struggling to forgive her father who manipulated things to keep her from marrying the man she truly loved, and coping with other secrets and lies that have shored up her carefully constructed world for years.

**** This is a complex book, one that is very difficult to sum up, but it is Ms. Arana's best work to date. Though the subject matter tends to be dark at times, unlike her prior trilogy, it does not become boggy and depressing while trying to sound happy about being afflicted. Despite the frank sorrow and patently flawed characters, there is a strong spiritual message that will touch many hearts. There are things I find surprising in a Christian novel, but that makes it more honest.