Customer Reviews

As Iron Sharpens Iron

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I have yet to be disappointed with anything written by Howard Hendricks. In this book, he does a superb job of presenting the tremendous worth and transforming power of a mentoring relationship between two men. While these principles would also apply to a woman-to-woman relationship, Hendricks is writing to provide support for the Christian men's movement "Promise Keepers."

There are two sections to this work: how to find a mentor, and how to be a mentor. Hendricks emphasizes there are many more men seeking mentors than there are men who are willing to be mentors. He discourages actually using the title of "mentor" when establishing such a supportive relationship, for fear it will intimate one of the parties. Instead, he promotes referring to the interaction as what would occur between two friends. Hendricks also describes how to spot a mentor or a protégé, then how to avoid common pitfalls of such an arrangement.

For anyone seeking to learn from a respected male friend, or for someone seeking to invest his life-lessons of experience in a younger man, this book is simply invaluable.

Subject: Re: Self-Selected Mentoring Book Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 21:29:56 -0800 From: "Bryan D. Souza" <mrteacherman@hotmail.com> Organization: Clovis Unified School District Newsgroups: pep.gsep.ed639.chaka References: 1

Mike Menchaca wrote:

As you all know, your first reading assignment was to self-select a mentoring book from Amazon.com. You can thread your postings from here.

It will be very helpful to the class if you'd include the following: 1. Author and Name of the Book 2. Three Major Important Points emphasized by the book. 3. Why you liked the book. 4. Why you didn't like the book. 5. Overall assessment of the book.

QUESTION #1: Howard and William Hendricks (Father and Son Team) Building Character in a Mentoring Relationship: As Iron Sharpens Iron - 1995 (270 pages)

QUESTION #2: This book is addressed specifically toward men and is broken in 2 major parts with a Mentoring Action Plan located in the back of the book. Its release was scheduled to coincide with the 1995 schedule of the national Promise Keepers conferences.

Part 1 is for men who want to be mentored.

This part helps the reader to understand what character traits he should look for when trying to find a mentor: someone who is real, creative, and captures your heart. The book focuses on the mentoring that leads to spiritual maturity with numerous analogies and examples of what character traits a man needs to nature our souls. Hence the title which is derived from the Bible: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens the other." (Proverbs 27:!7)

It identifies on p.63 "Ten Marks of a Mentor" The ideal mentor is a person who... 1. Seems to have what you personally need. 2. Cultivates relationships. 3. Is willing to take a chance on you. 4. Is respected by other Christians. 5. Has a network of resources. 6. Is consulted by others. 7. Both talks and listens. 8. Is consistent in his lifestyle. 9. Is able to diagnose your needs. 10.Is concerned with your interests.

This part of the book explains the benefits of having a mentor: helps you reach your goals and provides a role model. Where to find a mentor: at work, at college, or your church. How to cultivate a mentor relationship. The differences between a formal and informal mentoring relationship. The expectations both realistic and unrealistic. And taking personal responsibility for growing a mentoring relationship.

Part 2 is for men who are willing to serve as mentors.

This part of the book cites several examples of Biblical men (Paul and Barnabas) who felt inadequate about leadership, yet were very influential to the lives of numerous men. It explains the benefits of being a mentor: relationships, personal growth, and making a difference in the lives of other men. The roles of a mentor are clearly explained and "analogized" with several examples. On page 159 the book defines the mentoring relationship by using these practical keys to serve his protégé.

A Mentor... - is a source of information - provides wisdom (as guided by the Bible) - promotes specific skills and effective behaviors - provides feedback - coaches - is a sounding board - is someone to turn to - helps devise plans - nurtures curiosity

Then this part of the text goes on to state how to find a protégé, what to look for, and how to properly cultivate the mentoring relationship.

The Mentoring Action Plan found in the third section of the book is designed as a workbook to help develop Mentor / Protégé relationships in a thoughtful and practical manner. It focuses on the art of mentoring in a reflective way with discussion and activities that can be used a a primer for mentoring relationships.

QUESTION #3:

I enjoyed the many practical examples presented in this book. It is straightforward, easy to read, and can be life changing. It is one of those books that you want to go back and reread for insight and direction.

QUESTION #4:

This book is targeted toward a very specific audience. As a man and a Christian, I had no complaints with this book. However, if I was neither this book probably would not be very useful or convincing to me.

QUESTION #5: Overall, I would recommend this book to other men who are wondering how to create meaningful, Godly relationships with other men.

Main Purpose: The purpose of this book is to enlighten men of their responsibility to mentor or share knowledge/experience, both practical & theoretical with other men in a constructive manner.

Content Description: The majority of the content of this work shows that through Biblical as well as a few secular texts that men throughout history have helped to mentor the youth of their culture in positive ways. Audience: In my own opinion this book is aimed at all adult males who have grown up in social environment that stipulates that all men are to be a "Lone Ranger" figure. There is nothing wrong with these qualities per se as I to was raised this way; however, one must realize that to better society as a whole, men with experience and skills need to impart their knowledge in a mentoring relationship to other men or young adults to better promote values and skills which are constructive and build a better individual and thus society.

Special Features: This book's target market is men. Men who are Christians or at least know of the Christian Bible. The skills taught in this book remind me of Special Forces cross-training methods. That is to say that each squad of 12 men learn their particular skills then impart their knowledge to other members of their squad. The squad (society) then grows from each individual learing these skills. This is the mentoring process.

Warnings of Weakness: This is not really a weakness; however, if one equates a Biblical reading Christian man as a mind controlled lab rat there could be a hesitation to the acceptance of the overall message. If one is not of an open mind, and only looks to secular texts this may not be the book for you. However, if you can read a Biblical-based text as well as secular texts without suffering from cognitive dissonance I think you would enjoy the message of this book.

As Iron Sharpens Iron is an extremely practical and insightful book covering all aspects of mentoring relationships. Part One takes a close look at these from the perspective of a man (really, of anyone) seeking a mentoring relationship. Part Two flips things around to look from the mentor's perspective - why mentor, what to look for in a protoge, how to help the your mentoring partner set a learning agenda, and more. There is also a helpful appendix on how to establish a mentoring program in your church.

The principles within apply well both in formal mentoring contexts as well as informal. Both have advantages, but the authors make a strong case for informal mentoring relationships and taking things slow (especially for men). Here are some of the highlights I found within the book:

* Established the benefits of mentoring relationships for all, including peer mentoring
* Very practical and realistic advice on initiating mentoring relationships (one of the most common stumbling blocks) - including a nice list of 20 ideas for starting such a relationship
* Clear focus that mentoring is about relationships, with intentionality for growth
* The ten marks of a mentor - as well as the profile of a protege
* A very useful guide in the appendix for personal or group use, to walk a person or pair through the book and apply it
* Overall, an approach that seems like it would work well with modern (and postmodern) audiences of all ages

One of my favorite tips in the book was that when talking to someone about initiating a mentoring relationship, don't use the word mentor or mentoring!?! It tends to scare many people off unnecessarily. In talking to several men, both younger and older, I've found this to be quite true. Likewise, if you're looking to start a mentoring program, they suggested that you don't actually make it a "program", and that you don't have to refer to it as "mentoring".

I've read many books and articles on mentoring in the past few months. I now wish I started with this book - it pulls together many best practices and great ideas that I've seen scattered across many other sources. The target audience for the book is definitely men, and leaders of men's ministry. Yet the principles and practices taught definitely seem applicable to any audience.

Prov 27:17
17 As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend
NKJV

Here, we have the example of keeping our friends in the light of God and this book elaborates on it. Discipleship is the key to good fruit in our life.
I am sure many of you know discipleship from the New Testament but do you realize it is as old as Time? God wanted to disciple Adam and Eve and in return, they would disciple the World. This book relates specifically to the "Men" doing the discipling.
I was pleased to see how much my life and Ministry changed after reading this book and listening to the voice of the Spirit of Truth. If you are a man in need of a closer walk, pick up a copy of this book and see if you too will be changed.

Many books betray their irrelevancy after spending about five years on the bookshelf. This is because they made arguments that relied too heavily on the current state of the culture or the events that shaped it. As soon as the culture changes, or new events render old events obsolete, the content and argument of a book no longer provides anything helpful to the reader. As Iron Sharpens Iron is not one of those books.

Howard and William Hendricks address an issue that has always been, and will most likely forever be, crucial to the health of a culture: mentoring. Their arguments are not completely void of what was, in 1995, the current state of affairs or the events that shaped it (all books, to some degree, do this), but their primary argumentation is based on principles of Scripture, human behavior, and motivation. They take time to explain the "why's" of mentoring in addition to offering suggestions on how to put mentoring into action. The question of why is harder to define, but the answers last longer than today's trends.

Their book also addresses both sides of mentoring: those seeking mentors and those who will mentor the seekers. As a professional mentor who continues to be mentored by others, I gained valuable insight from their treatment of both issues. If you are young and looking for mentors, you might find the second half of the book irrelevant, but just wait ten years and you will be glad you have the book when others seek your help as a mentor.

The inexperienced can avoid much pain, suffering, and needlessly redundant work if they would seek out experienced people to coach and encourage them. The experienced could spare the inexperienced decades of hard consequences if they would be willing to share what they have to give to those who could use it. Hendricks' book is a roadmap to making the most of the mentoring dynamic whichever camp you find yourself in at the moment. It will be just as useful many years from now as it is today, and I say this having read it for the first time more than 15 years after its first printing (courtesy of Moody Publishers who provided me with a complementary copy for review on my site).

I work in Brazil catalyzing a movement of mentoring pastors with the intent that they in turn will mentor their principal leaders. Hendricks book was recently published in Brazil. I gave a copy to each member of my executive team and other key leaders who work with me. It is the most practical tool I have yet found, both for those wanting to be mentored as well as those wanting to mentor. This book has done more to provoke, challenge and channel my thinking and practice of mentoring than any other book. I hope that those who read it will find themselves not just finding and improving mentoring relationships, but also spreading a mentoring movement, both inside and outside the church. We need mentors in our churches and we need them in the marketplace.

I am happy with the purchase and the speed with which it arrived. I did not expect some highlighting on the pages, but that is insignificant overall. The book is in fine shape

The book arrived just as commented on the site!! Very satisfied!!
Thank you!