Customer Reviews

Ashes to Ashes, Families to Dust: False Accusations of Child Abuse: A Roadmap for Survivors

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"America went from a scant 3,000 reported incest cases in 1980, to over 132,000 in 1987. And nearly 500,000 by 1990." This quote from the book alone should tell anyone that this is an extremely important and invaluable book. It is a MUST READ, not only for anyone suddendly faced with allegations of child abuse, but all lawyers, judges, social workers and pyschologists who work anywhere near this area. Finally, we have guidelines for descerning real abuse charges from false ones, and a template for how to defend against the exploding number of false charges, by a team of experts who have worked this field for 20 years. As these charges are made in civil court, no one should be naive about the fact you are guilty until you go to the large expense of proving yourself innocent. And it is no longer only men caught in this. "Today, there is a growing body of allegations against women."

"Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust represents to America the destruction that is incurred by families due to false allegations of child abuse" says author, speaker, consultant and family rights activist, Dean Tong. This reviewer found an eye-opener of a book that exposes the misuse of our child abuse laws.

In the first of four heart-rending case studies, Mr. Tong relates his own personal experience of being (falsely) accused by his wife during their divorce proceedings, of molesting his daughter. Thus began his exploration of this glaring and unfair practice, a nightmare that totally unhinges the accused's life, and all relationships.

During the five years following the false allegations, Mr. Tong spent over $80,000, hired six attorneys, saw five psychologists, took a polygraph test, was subjected to countless psychological tests and lost the custody of his children. This, even though he proved a prima facie case of his innocence and his ex-wife was declared an unfit mother.

The other three case studies are equally gruesome and unfortunate. In his goal to ensure women and children are protected from real abusers, Mr. Tong proceeds to light the path to fairness. He does so, valiantly, by offering his wisdom on how to avoid the situation, and if that is not possible, how to deal with it.

Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust is a powerful and compelling exposé that is the training manual for the defense. Dean Tong offers sage advice as well as a compendium of family rights organizations, attorneys, case law and even internet on-line resources. In this reviewer's opinion, Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust is a must-read!

Richard Fuller

Senior editor

An excellent book for those falsely accused. In a time where anything a child says is taken as truth it is good to see that Dean Tong found the voice for the falsely accused. Today children know exactly what to say and what to do to get even or back at a parent. Children of divorce are all to often used as weapons against their parents. This book gives attention and detail to the system and the behind the scenes accounting of the process on abuse allegations. Dean Tong gives a voice and manual to the many who are or will be falsely accused. It can happen to anyone, read the book and learn to protect yourself.

When I recieved this book, I was in the middle of research for Louise Woodward. I needed to network and find out how bad the problem of false allegations had become in my country since I left in '84. What an eye opener this book is and since I too have suffered a false allegation, I feel this book is not just a necessity for persons falsely accused of Child Abuse, but a must for all families who need to know how to protect their rights and the rights of their children.

Dean Tong tells it like it is; honest, straight forward and to the point. We need more of these types of books.

The professionals who care for children's interest also need to have books of the kind Dean Tong writes. Perhaps then protecting children and families from false allegations shall be a memory from the past.

A book I would certainly give as a present to any of my friends who have children, who might be considering divorce and I have even given a copy to my local Social Work Department and they shall incorporate this topic into their training of Social Workers and fosterparents in all future training seminars. A must for any families library.

This really is a-must-have book for anyone interested in the false accusations of child abuse. Very clear and accurate. I give this book five stars!

Ashes to Ashes...Families To Dust is a realistic view on child abuse in the world today. The truth is scary and Dean Tong writes it like it is. Ashes to Ashes makes you stop and think about the way you have or may now be raising your children. Anyone going through divorce or seperation should read this book you won't be sorry. Don't be a victim.

The American family is in danger of extintion as we once knew it, due to false accusations of child abuse and the resulting "system abuse" of the "child abuse industry." To inoculate parents to protect their families, this would make a loving baby shower gift. Although it is best to be forewarned to be forearmed, this book gives you vital information for you and your attorney to give you the only hope of saving your family from the "child abuse industry". Only a person who truly cares about saving your family and who has undergone this devastating experience that never seems to end could possibly write such a priceless, lifesaving book. Perhaps, the most outstanding or futuristic feature of the book is the list of web sites and e-mail addresses. This allows you to link up to the widest variety of up-to-the-minute information, sample legal forms, experts, and people who care and want to help your family if they are falsely accused of child abuse or neglect. This book gives you the added power of the Internet. No other problem can affect a family as catastrophically and long-term as these false charges. I have known of a father who was accused of sexually abusing his daughter. When she had children several years later and had problems with child protection services, he could not get temporary custody of his grandchildren to protect them. One child died and the foster mother was reportedly convicted of murder. One false accusation brought tragedy that affected at least three generations of their family. The accusation was proved false, but the grandfather could not get his name off a "Central registry" where it may remain for the rest of his life and cause more deaths of his grandchildren. He was cleared and never charged with a crime, but he can't clear his name from the Central Registry of "suspected" child abusers. This is legalized slander! Someone that you know stands one false accusation away from a tragedy that can destroy their family and children financially, emotionally, morally, and even cause suicide when the pain becomes too great to bear. Precise information during a crisis is what "Ashes to Ashes ..." can give to a family and their attorney when they need help the most !!!

There are many unexpected gems in this book: Chapter 10 has a wonderful, very useful explanation on anatomical dolls; I particularly liked pages 105, 108, and 112. In Chapter 11 on "Agencies," look forward to page 121. And Chapter 12 describes a volunteer court-monitoring system which excited my pronounced sense of proactivism. Sate your appetite for very useful information. Happy Holidays from falseallegations.com!