Customer Reviews

The Ashes of Innocence

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I cried through the first half. If this story didn't have a happy ending, it woud never have been written and no one would have known the horrors Tesluk went through as a child. There was no government agency to pull her out; no neighbors; or any family member that came to her defense. And through the torment, she grew to become her own champion. This is a very inspiring story for all to read; especially those parents who have spoiled children who whine about their name-brand clothing, their cell phones and their inability to cope with trivial, nonsensical problems, especially those we see on TV. We see plenty of criminals spotlighted because they had a bad upbringing. We rarely see on TV someone who has gone through hell and came up a winner. Recommended for a TV movie.

The Ashes of Innocence was far different than I expected. I had the feeling that it was going to be a bit dry, telling of war camps and repression. While it did those things, it also read like a gripping suspense novel! This book draws the reader in. It captivates your attention and doesn't let it go. I found myself unable to sleep. I read the entire book in one(long) evening. Three days later, I started reading it again!

There are elements of this book that stir your emotions. The writing style is such that it awakens you to the hard truths that surround us all every day while we are enjoying our own lives. There are those suffering - right now, always. It's painful to know, but so true. The author certainly was dealt far more than her share of torment. Molestation, beatings, hunger, suicide, alcoholism, belittlement, and repression of every sort all were placed on Tesluk, and all before she was even old enough to begin school. Then, her life got bad!

This isn't a story of complaint or defeat though. She overcame all that tried to crush out her life. She found strength. She exhibited courage beyond belief. The recurrence of her intent to be united with her father links the subthemes of the story together in a heartwarming way. In the end, she is liberated. She emerges victorious having fought many enemies - both human and non.

I truly haven't read such a fine book in many years. I can't recommend it strongly enough! It is definitely a story that all people should read - young and old, male and female. There are lessons here that everyone needs to embrace. The most significant fact about the book is that is all true. It seems impossible, but it is based on her life. If the author reads this review, I hope that she understands that she has presented the world with a fine gift. Read this book!

Tesluk narrates a grim but touching story of her life which began in a war camp in Germany. The story relates over many decades how she searched for her beloved but mysteriously absent moja tato (Ukranian for Father). The very personal rendition of day to day life upon arriving in Canada and surviving a childhood of misery at the hands of a stepfather is powerful. The story continues with the ups and downs of life's many challenges through young adulthood and beyond which the author manages to overcome purely through strength of character and spirit. Ultimately the Love for her own two children becomes the true reflection in spirit of the Father she never knew but whom she'd turned to metaphorically throughout her life seeking advice and direction.

A chilling memoir that will awaken emotions in oneself as you journey with the author into the darkness of hell and back. Throughout her struggles she knew that forgiveness was the first step to her healing. Her salvation was the treasured pictures of "moja tato", her daddy (in Ukrainian)and the strength he gave her as she stumbled and fell leading to her eventual liberation. A powerful story that will help others heal whether they suffered atthe hands of a parent or loved one.

"The Ashes of Innocence" is a dark and moving memoir told by Alexandra Tesluk. The words flow off the page like they were spoken directly to you by a beloved old aunt and charged with such a wealth of detail and feeling that gives the story an intimate and intensely personal quality.

Retelling her life story from her first childhood memories, Alexandra uses words from her native language as spice to develop a depth of expression, as a child would, growing with fresh discoveries in vocabulary and context. She is fatherless. Her "moja tato", her father, has vanished in the chaos of World War 2 and the shadows of the Iron Curtain that followed. Rather than disappearing into Stalin's Soviet Union, Alexandra's mother moves the family to Thunder Bay, Canada, to face a life as a "DP" (displaced person).

When her mother marries the owner of a small boarding house, Alexandra gains a violent, alcoholic stepfather. Unable to escape her own sense of displacement, Alexandra is betrayed, abused and abandoned. Her alienation is beautifully rendered in emotional snippets adrift in the timeline of her life. She writes with a desperate foreboding that hems in her experiences, stitching one awful circumstance to another.

With so many places and ways to lose faith, somehow she never did, so from the crackling shell of childhood emerges hope and empowerment. In adulthood, with its own highs and lows, sincerity and authenticity, Alexandra finds a truth - some things lost are lost forever. Innocence is replaced with grim determination and resolve to break the vicious cycle of abuse and loss. Though she never quits searching for the father she lost so long ago, she does find companions who help her. With their help and a guiding belief in the fundamental worth and dignity of all human beings - the long struggle to make a broken little girl whole once again is complete. Alexandra discovers herself and a lifelong, fulfilling love.

"The Ashes of Innocence" is a story that emphasizes the complexity and uniqueness of human beings, as creatures of self-image and choices, finding understanding through their search for meaning. It has a subjective touch that is both delicate and devastating. It may be too intense or subjective for some, but for those who can hear Alexandra speaking through these pages, this is a journey is worth taking.

I just closed the back cover on Alexandra's memoir. Having met her recently while on vacation in Mexico, I was interested to read about her life, and found her story moving. Physically looking at her self-composed expression and regal carriage (exactly like the "Viking princess" one of her loves described her as), I'd never have known she'd undergone such traumatic experiences and emotions. I sensed her courage in the self-exposure of writing a memoir; the book was obviously therapeutic for her to write.

Actually this is my first criticism of Ashes of Innocence: I usually avoid reading books that so explicitly unveil personal pain journalled for the purpose of emotional cleansing, finding the catharsis of others less interesting than tightly crafted fiction. But fiction this is not! The rawness of Alexandra's real-life experience did grip me as a reader, and the transparency of her pain did find some resolution in her triumph over it. However, the flow of the work was further interrupted for me by her wordiness and by grammatical and stylistic inconsistencies--but these lesser, editorial shortcomings can be corrected in future printings of this self-published work.

The book's photos are great and helped me picture Alexandra's realities and clarify the timeline somewhat. Several of her descriptions are photos in themselves (the wind stripping the skin from her bones, p.8; her pregnant mother's belly distended with hope, p. 254). I ached with the horror of her step-father's abuse, with her early sexual experiences, and with her disappointments in life (sister's relationship, mother's failures)--these fed into the tension that kept me reading. I came to understand in a new and deeper way the situation of the "DP" (displaced person)--and even to understand a couple of my friends raised by first-generation immigrant parents.

The role of faith in Alexandra's life was of deep interest to me. She refers often to praying and to the Catholic Church, and it seems to me that her view of God was formulated by her view of her absent father. This is an area that could stimulate discussion amongst readers of Ashes of Innocence, and might be a fruitful subject for Alexandra's future writing. I'd particularly recommend this book to anyone who has immigrant friends or who wants to know more about the inner workings of making an new life in a new country.

Working in the social work field has unfortunately allowed me to interact with children who face similar circumstances to those of the author. More often than not, neighbors show up after the damage is done to say, "I knew there was something going on but I didn't want to be nosy." If someone would have been "nosy" butting into the sad, abuse filled life of Ms. Tesluk, she might not have had to endure so much pain at the hands of her mother and stepfather. However, as a result, she may not have evolved into the strong, loving, and kind friend, mother and wife that she did.

Ms. Tesluk tells a painful yet triumphant story about her life as a child. She was born at a time when families, including hers, were in war camps in Germany. It was a life where she was ignored and labeled inside and outside her home, abused emotionally, physically and sexually, and simply forgotten. To live in the home with your mother and not be acknowledged has to be far worse than not knowing her at all. Innocently, she longed for the love of her father who she barely remembered. Her daydreams often included her father coming to save her from the pain she endured. At times she was driven only by those dreams.

The reader can't help but be saddened by the truths that were in fact the fiber of Ms. Tesluk's life--neglect, hate, and consistent abuse. The story pulls at your heart strings. The scars of her childhood followed her to adulthood playing out in her relationships with men. She didn't love herself and fell into the only life she was familiar with; one of abuse and neglect. Despite the pain and horror that encompassed her life, Ms. Tesluk was resilient and overcame it all while learning to love herself and others. In short, she managed to bend when life was in fact doing all it could to break her.

I gave this book 4 stars because I did become lost at times in areas that were too wordy or in a few places where the author went from the past to the present. I found myself reading some sections over. The pictures were a great addition to the story. With professional editing, the author will receive the accolades she deserves. I do think the book should be shared with others trying to overcome their circumstances. They will be encouraged...

I was disappointed with the book. The writing wasn't very good, it could've used a good editor. The story was interesting and probably served as a catharsis for the author.