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Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want Paperback – January 27, 2009


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Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want + Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change + Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam; Reprint edition (January 27, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553384554
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553384550
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.1 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #9,662 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

According to Babcock and Laschever (Women Don't Ask), women don't ask for what they want and need in the workplace and end up suffering financially, earning less than their male counterparts who are more likely to bargain successfully for higher salaries and timely raises. To help women learn to negotiate, the authors have devised a four-phase program of strategies and exercises to determine what you want, what you're worth and how to increase your bargaining power. An appendix on teaching girls to negotiate offers hope that the next generation's women will be better prepared to ask for-and receive-what they're worth. Peppered with personal accounts of women bargaining their way to career and personal fulfillment, this book is a practical and empowering resource, invaluable to anyone, male or female, looking to gain an advantage at the negotiation table.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“Nice girls don’t ask, but smart women do. Ask for It provides the tangible tools and tips you need to get your fair share of the raises, promotions, and perks you’ve earned—and deserve.”—Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D., author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office and Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich.

“Combining sophisticated strategy with down-to-earth action, Ask for It gives women a groundbreaking gift: the means to ask for what they’re worth. Women learn how to change their fear of negotiating into confidence that they’ll gain more if they ask for more—more pay, more status, more resources, more equitable treatment. Required reading for working women.”—Evelyn Murphy, President, The WAGE Project, Inc.; author of Getting Even: Why Women Don’t Get Paid Like Men and What To Do About It

"Filled with practical tips and real-life examples, Ask for It empowers women to ask for what they want and get it. A must-read for any woman looking to make a change at home or on the job." —Lindsay Hyde, President, Strong Women, Strong Girls, Inc.

“This upbeat, realistic, and inspiring book will help you create new possibilities in every part of your life—whether you’re just starting out or already mid-career. There’s even a “negotiation gym” for building your confidence and skills before you go for the gold. Give it to your mother, your daughter, your sister, your friends!” —Miriam Nelson, Ph.D., author of Strong Women Stay Young and Strong Women, Strong Bones

“The authors have devised a four-phase program of strategies and exercises to determine what you want, what you’re worth and how to increase your bargaining power…. This book is a practical and empowering resource, invaluable to anyone, male or female, looking to gain an advantage at the negotiation table.”—Publishers Weekly




From the Hardcover edition.

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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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This book was so helpful in laying out what to do to negotiate those things I want in life.
J. Churchill
Nonetheless, the advice in the book and the strategies provided for preparing for a negotiation are invaluable.
MySolace
This book is an excellent read, with helpful tips illustrated by lots of stories and studies.
Lauren A. Schmidt

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 34 people found the following review helpful By C. selle on June 14, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I picked up this book with smug curiosity, confident that being able to ask for what I want was certainly NOT my issue. But what an eye-opener! I was guilty of every excuse in the book for not asking, on a day to day basis.

Asking doesn't just mean at the office. ASK FOR IT is about taking the time to identify one's life's desires, large and small, and asserting oneself with dignity, grace, and even humor.

This book is full of fun anecdotes, but also gives detailed instruction as to HOW to ask when one feels the need, but feels too uncertain about the fall out.

I can honestly say this book has changed my life. Period.
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Format: Hardcover
Women don't ask.

That was the premise -- and the title -- of a book published in 2003 by Linda Babcock, James M. Walton Professor of Economics at Carnegie Mellon University's H. John Heinz III School of Public Policy and Management, and successful writer and editor Sara Laschever.

"Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change" explored the uncomfortable truths about gender and negotiation and exposed the obstacles that keep women from negotiating effectively for themselves. While men seem to have no trouble negotiating and asking for what they need, women hesitate or fail to ask at all.

Social conditioning and cultural expectations are among the causes of these gendered differences. Tragically these differences produce well-documented economic costs for women, haunting them over the course of a lifetime. For example, according to the "Women Don't Ask" web site, "By not negotiating a first salary, an individual stands to lose more than $500,000 by age 60 -- and men are more than four times as likely as women to negotiate a first salary."

This book touched a raw nerve for the many women who read it; indeed, so overwhelming was the response to "Women Don't Ask" that Babcock and Laschever went to work on a sequel.

The result is "Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want", a book filled with practical advice; real-world negotiation stories from the authors, the women who have contacted them as a result of their work, and Babcock's students; and a detailed four-phase program with exercises for preparing for and succeeding in life's negotiations.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Valerie Aurora on May 31, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
After "Women Don't Ask," we knew that, as women, we are trained to fear and avoid negotiation - and that the personal cost of that training runs into the hundreds of thousands of dollars over a lifetime (not to mention deep unhappiness and the waste of human potential). But everyone who read "Women Don't Ask" came back with the same question: How do I learn to negotiate?

"Ask for It" is the practical answer to that question. The authors give step-by-step instructions on how to learn to ask for (and get) what you want. The first step is to figure out what it is you want in life, above and beyond what you think you will be allowed to have. It's a surprisingly hard task when you've been trained to think about and fill other people's wants - try it! The program progresses by baby steps from there, negotiating for very minor unimportant things up to asking for things you are sure you can't get. As you progress, you'll learn by experience that you can get more than you think, and that people generally react much more positively to asking than you expect. Asking works, asking is safe, asking will make your life better.

One of the things I loved about "Women Don't Ask" was the inclusion of many studies conducted by social scientists on women and negotiation. "Ask for It" continues this trend, but also adds many personal stories about women negotiating. The stories aren't intended as scientific evidence but as examples and role models to help illustrate the authors' points. I found the concrete examples to be very helpful in showing just how much you can ask for and get. Some of the solutions are truly creative - I never imagined that an employer would be so flexible!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Lauren A. Schmidt on October 16, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is an excellent read, with helpful tips illustrated by lots of stories and studies. It is aimed primarily at women, but any person who wants to learn to negotiate better, in work or other parts of life, could benefit from it. It's especially good for people who don't know how to negotiate, or who think they shouldn't/don't need to ask for things. I love the section where the authors provide concrete exercises to help the reader go from non-negotiator to someone who is confident and practiced at asking for (and getting) things.

I took detailed notes from the book to refer to in the future. Here are a few examples of tips from the book that apply to everyone:

* Never ask if something is negotiable. It implies you're okay with it if not. Always assume yes.

* Ask for what you want when your bargaining power is high -- e.g., due to recent personal successes, or after a bunch of people leave the company and they're in a tight spot if they lose you.

* Each side can end up benefiting more by working collaboratively. Negotiation is often not zero-sum. You may think outside the original set of options to find something that meets everyone's needs better by discussing needs in detail and brainstorming. This is explored in a lot more detail in the book, and is one of the most valuable chapters.

* Whether or not to make the first offer depends on how much information you have. If you know the other side's bottom line but they don't know yours, go first. Set the anchor at a beneficial place to you. But if you have no idea what they'll pay, try to let them start the negotiation.
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