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Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On Paperback – May 5, 2009


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Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On + How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over + Split: A Memoir of  Divorce
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Seal Press (May 5, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580052762
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580052764
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #658,701 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In keeping with the almost defiant title, this collection of 29 essays is a mixture of ballsy and introspective, humorous and bleak—though never bleak for long. Though individual and quirky, these essays share a theme. As Julie Hammonds writes pithily in The Love List: What to do next with my life? Where to go? Who to become? Big questions, fear inducing. She decided to travel solo for six months. And while the economic effects of divorce are all too real, each woman has a chance to become stronger, more herself. As Marrit Ingman says with delightful economy in Breakup Buddies, Our fortunes declined. But at the same time, our struggles had a reason, at last. Bad odds were better than no chance at all. Editor Walsh (Moving to New York) steps up the honesty in revealing that she left her unhappy marriage after falling in love with her female therapist, ultimately finding her true love via Match.com. These stories of exploration and change, whether tentative or bold, will inspire readers who are questioning their own status. (June)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review


"Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On, edited by Mothering's Features Editor, Candace Walsh, is a collection of dynamic, reflective, well-written essays that deftly illuminate the transformative potential of loss. These are stories of brave women, including Mothering contributor Amé Solomon and former Managing Editor Rozella Kennedy, who used devastating circumstances to successfully reinvent their lives. If you've checked into the Heartbreak Hotel, let this inspiring book encourage you to take the next healing step."
Mothering Magazine

"This collection of 29 essays, all written by women for women, aims to show that getting divorced does not equal failure and can be the start of a new, positive life…Most divorce-themed books focus on legal or financial aspects or target a specific age group; this one allows women to recount their experiences as a theraputic exercise for themselves and other divorcées.
Library Journal

"A divorce is a shameful thing, or so we tend to think, says Candace Walsh, editor of the essay collection Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On. But rather than see divorce as something ignoble or embarrassing, Walsh says, we ought to put a failed marriage in its place: It was something that worked once but doesn't anymore. Viewed that way, a divorce is a healthy way to reclaim the rest of your life.
-Body + Soul

More About the Author

Candace Walsh is the author of Licking the Spoon: A Memoir of Food, Family, and Identity. Her writing has appeared in numerous national and local publications, in Newsday, Travel + Leisure, Sunset, Mademoiselle, New York magazine, and New Mexico Magazine. She has also worked on staff at Condé Nast International, Mothering, and currently, as the managing editor of New Mexico Magazine. She edited Seal Press anthologies Dear John, I Love Jane: Women Write About Leaving Men for Women, (a Lambda Literary Award finalist) and Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On. Her essays have been published in the anthology Here Come the Brides; on Slate's Double X; and in the Santa Fe Reporter. She lives in Santa Fe with her wife Laura André, their two children, and two dogs.

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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The editor, Candace Walsh (great first name!
Candace Ehringer
Finally the idea that divorce can be a good thing, for everyone, is celebrated here by people who know.
Ally
I hope others who are struggling will also "Pull out the crayons".
L. Catherine Bell

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Candace Ehringer on May 13, 2009
Format: Paperback
I found out about this book on Monday and ordered it next-day delivery from amazon.com, read it on Tuesday, and felt the need to promote it on Wednesday. The book is a collection of stories all written by women who have gone through divorce - and are now better for it.

Some of the writing is frank and confessional: "I came hard watching girl-on-girl sex." Some is lyrical: "Grief begins to rise like a tide then, seeking that deep groove to flow into." Painful humor abounds: "I put the lawyer through law school, he put me in the loony bin. We called it even and got divorced."

I see myself in every story in the book, even the one written by an immigrant German ex-polygamist who left not only her husband, but her sister wife. Our lives couldn't be more disparate, but we have something in common - recovering from emotionally abusive relationships and becoming strong women.

When Sy, the 58-year-old I was dating last, told me that I was just like every woman who goes through a divorce, and he could basically tell me what stages to expect next, I said incredulously, "Thanks for letting me know I'm typical." At the time, it didn't sit well with me. I was just starting find myself, my voice, and my identity. I didn't want to be like anybody else. But after reading the stories in this book, I realize that, yes, I am typical. Not necessarily a bad thing. Every woman who experiences divorce has her own spin to put on it. Stories may overlap, but no two are identical. Each voice is unique and valuable. Each variation adds to the whole complex composition of "divorce."

The editor, Candace Walsh (great first name! and she spells it correctly!), along with a few of the authors, will be doing readings at Skylight Books on May 21. My growing posse of LA Divorcees and I will be in attendance, book in hand. Eager to meet the women who are exposing the fact that divorce is neither a 4-letter word nor the end of the world. Typically, it's the beginning.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Rebekah L. Cowell on May 2, 2009
Format: Paperback
Ask Me About My Divorce is a gathering of voices, a cross section of women from every walk of life who have finally found just that, their voices.
Each essay has its element of gut wrenching sorrow, moments that make me a woman who has lost and loved, cry - yet, the sorrow is just a piece of the whole - these stories are monumental moments of jubilation - sorrow becomes freedom becomes joy.

I am neither married, nor divorced, but I celebrate the individuality of these voices that echo like a battle cry, "I will no longer be silent, I will no longer be fearful, I will awaken and I will be the woman I was meant to be."
No one enters marriage thinking of it crumbling just like that unpreserved bridal bouquet - brittle flowers turned to powder at the touch. But. Should it happen, there should be no shame, no stigmas - Ask Me About My Divorce opens up the dialog for each of us to share and talk about our relationships.

Like a Matryoshka (Russian Nested doll), these intricate tales stack neatly into an overarching thread of divorcing, and finding ones self and entirely new take on life - what could be more powerful and inspirational than that?
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Halima on May 2, 2009
Format: Paperback
For People who tend to blame themselves when things go wrong- this book is reassuring and insightful. Perhaps bad things happen for reasons yet to be understood...The authors of the short stories in this book deserve a lot of credit. They've taken a chance, put themselves out there and written from the heart. Most importantly, they've taken the time to explore their own personal challenges and reveal what they are learning about loss in order to help others. If you don't dare to love, learn and explore new possibilities- you can't grow. These women have grown.

This book is important for anyone who dares to dream, pursue goals, stumble, dust themselves off and stand up stronger. This book is for anyone who longs to do these things. You don't have to be married, divorced or a woman to appreciate the message in this book. It's for everyone.

This new book's chapter entitled, "The Love List" was written by my childhood friend & budding new author Julie Hammonds.

The author has so much to give. She a high school valedictorian, a varsity swimmer, a thoughtful friend & the recipient of a full scholarship to Harvard for her studies in biology. She's soft spoken with a terrific smile. She's lovely inside and out. She chose to study environmental science at UC Berkeley. When she married, they made their own kayaks & traveled waterways all over the U.S. and landed in Alaska. She's an environmentalist. He's a journalist.

Julie's greatest attribute (it's hard to pick one) is her thoughtful & inspired writing style. She's always shared her personal view of the world through beautiful poignant language....no less so when she was stunned by her own divorce.

"It began as so may things do in my life, with a list.
Read more ›
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Jason G. Schliening on May 19, 2009
Format: Paperback
I couldn't put this book down. It was so powerful, and so encouraging. I felt like I had 28 new best friends.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By L. Catherine Bell on May 24, 2009
Format: Paperback
I ordered this book to send to a young lady who is struggling to survive an unexpected divorce. Being in my mid sixties and divorced years ago, I wanted to be certain the book would offer her encouragement, hope, and some tools for moving on. Without exception, these authors proved there is a bright light at the end of the challenging tunnel called divorce, and I'm confident my friend will find comfort, strength and direction through the honest stories presented here. My sincere "Thank You" to the editor, each contributor, and the publisher for this book.

The personal surprise for me, however, came while reading a chapter called "The Love List". Being a recently unemployed, and sometimes discouraged mature woman, I decided to create my own "Love List", complete with crayons! No matter our age or the challenges we are facing, the words of this writer ring true. Our future plans must ". . . begin in the fertile ground of love." I'm not suggesting that my list will lead me to employment, but it's nice to have a visible and colorful list to remind me of the many Blessings I have, and of the dreams yet to be fulfilled. I hope others who are struggling will also "Pull out the crayons".
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