Customer Reviews

The Asperger Parent: How to Raise a Child with Asperger Syndrome and Maintain Your Sense of Humor

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Having a "special needs" child is an incredibly stressful ongoing event and something author Jeff Cohen knows well as the father of a child with Asperger Syndrome. In its simplest terms, Asperger Syndrome (AS) is a form of higher functioning autism. Instead of another book on how to help the child, Jeff Cohen looked at the often forgotten group in such situations: the parents. Parents, regardless of the child's disability, are often blamed by society for their child's problems and may not have the local support needed to deal with the issues. This book, as he notes in the first chapter, is designed to be a sort of portable support group for those days and times it all gets to be too much.

It will get to be too much at times as he writes in the second chapter, "Other Parents Think I'm A Monster." What parent of a special needs child hasn't gotten the LOOK from another parent or adult when his or her child acted way out of bounds in public? That look that says you aren't doing something right and why won't you stop the child now? Jeff Cohen relates his own experiences along with the guilt and shame one instantly feels as others pass judgment on your parenting skills without ever having spent a minute in your shoes. Something all parents of special needs children will relate to.

If one isn't careful that internal battle can spill over into the schools. In "The Debate Over Inclusion" he lays out the arguments on both sides of the issue regarding placement of AS children in the public school system and recounts how well his local school district has handled the situation. He shares coping skills concerning the school's staff decisions and how to best get the help the child needs without becoming adversarial.

What follows is maybe the most important chapter in the book, "Remember That Person You're Married To?" The author gently and with more anecdotes reminds the reader to pay attention to his or her spouse. The guilt and stress over having an AS child or any disabled child is heavy, and it is easy to blame the partner for the situation. One has to constantly remember that it isn't anyone's fault and to take time to keep the romance alive. The author advocates quite strongly that time alone together for the parents is vitally important not only to strengthen the relationship, but to be a better parent and happier person that it is better able to cope with the situation. This chapter contains a lot of good advice not only for AS parents but for everyone.

Jeff Cohen then goes on to cover how to deal with sibling rivalry, moments one dreads like eating out and going on vacation, how to deal with medication issues, and other topics. Through it all, the author shares his personal experiences both happy times and sad times as she shares hard earned insight from being there before much was known about the syndrome. It is a roller coaster ride and Jeff Cohen recounts it all along with providing a lot of good information.

The bottom line theme through out the work is directly expressed towards the end of the book, "Lighten Up On Yourself." Jeff Cohen's overall point is that none of it is your fault and you are going to make mistakes as an AS parent. Hopefully, the good will outweigh the bad which is the best any of us as parents can hope for whether our children have AS or not.


Book Facts:

The Asperger Parent: How to Raise a Child With Asperger Syndrome and Maintain Your Sense of Humor
By Jeffrey Cohen
Autism Asperger Publishing Co.
www.asperger.net
Large Trade Paperback
ISBN # 1-931282-14-5
243 pages
$19.95


Kevin R. Tipple © 2005

If you're like me, you buy books on AS and consider the purchase a treat for yourself, even though the books concern your child. I was afraid this book might lose its focus on the parent at some point and start to focus on our kids--after all, how can one write about parenting a child with AS without writing about the children?--but the book remains solidly focused on the parents and discusses our children only in relation to our own lives.

Cohen is funny and insightful. I knew he knew what my life was like from the moment I read a line on the first page about when his son was expelled from his first preschool. My son was also asked to leave two preschools, so I had to chuckle in recognition.

This book is one I'll turn to whenever I need a real treat--just for me.

Jeffrey Cohen has captured the fears, frustrations, triumphs and hopes of Asperger parents beautifully. Easy to read, humorous and reassuring, this book is a great addition to the must-read list for parents of children challenged with Asperger Syndrome and related developmental disorders.
Somewhat repetitious, but we're used to that!

Jeff Cohen's book is FABULOUS! As a parent of a child with Asperger's Syndrome, it was so easy to relate to everything he wrote about. I found out that I'm not the only parent who says and does the things that I do. He kept me laughing from the first page to the last. I couldn't put it down! This is definitely NOT just another "this is my story" book on AS. You won't be disappointed.

Jeffrey Cohen's book came at exactly the right moment for me--just as our oldest was getting ready to enter high school. I laughed when I needed to, and I saw our family (at its best and its worst) all over the pages of this book.

Your child with Asperger's isn't the child you expected? Think a minute--what child EVER is the child their parents expected? You're not always the parent you think you should be? Think about it--were YOUR parents perfect? And you're okay--your kid will be too.

Do yourself a favor and get this book. It's like a support group between covers.

As a professional I recommend this book to all of the Asperger Parents I work with. Jeffry Cohen brilliantly shares his insights, his humor and his life as an Asperger Parent. Too often I have seen the family support system stretched to it's limits and then past. Jeffrey Cohen reminds the reader how important it is to have a support system, how important it is to tend to the other relationships our lives (spouses!)and how important it is to maintain you sense of humor. I found this book very hard to put down. Every parent with a child with AS should read wonderful book.

As a founder of a support group in DALLAS, Texas DANISH DALLAS ASPERGER NETWORK, I was so impressed reading this wonderful book.

Jeffrey has me crying, laughing and nodding as I read every page!

We have 70 members in our support group that share their stories so we KNOW we are NOT ALONE.

This book can really help those who do not have a support group.

I felt like I really got to know Josh And he reminds me of my 15 year old son diagnosed with AS at age 11.

A positive truthful book for parents about OUR REALITY....The daily struggles, concerns yet JOY they bring into our lives.

I was needing a pick up book and I got it from this book!

Thanks Josh for letting your story be told through your dad's eyes, letting other families understand the impact of ASperger's
.

This is an excellent "survival kit/survival manual" for people who have children on the spectrum. Asperger's, the spectrum parter to autism does have its humorous aspects. If you can maintain your sense of humor as you dodge landmines and meltdowns, then you have a plain advantage. If you can laugh with a person on the spectrum and see that there are some perks to having Asperger's, then you are ahead.

Be sure to read this with "Finding Our Way," a related masterpiece by Kristi Sakai.

From the very first page, I could tell that this book spoke directly to me. I have read other books about Asperger's Syndrome in an attempt to better understand my son. I never considered the toll that it was taking on both my wife and I as parents, as well as people. This book, as he so aptly phrases it, is NOT about my son. It's about me and my wife. Mr. Cohen writes in a very matter of fact way, getting to the point with insight and humor that really puts things into a new perspective. We had looked for support groups, but hadn't found any within a reasonable distance. Reading this book made me feel like we weren't alone in the world, and that what I had looked at as "failed parenting" was actually a natural human reaction to what were at times overwhelming situations.

This book has proved invaluable to me! There are some very good books and articles available about how to "handle", how to "parent", how to "deal with" a kid on the autism spectrum. This book alone gave me far more valuable advice: how to find humor in the tough moments! More profoundly, it emphasizes that it's okay to enjoy life, to laugh, to even poke gentle fun at some of the unbelievable things our kids do. As the author emphasizes, this book isn't about the child...it's about the parent.