Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management [Paperback]

Nick Dubin (Author), Valerie Gaus (Foreword)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 184310895X | ISBN-13: 978-1843108955 | Publication Date: March 2009 | Edition: 1

Many people suffer from feelings of stress and anxiety in their everyday lives. For people with Asperger Syndrome (AS), this stress can be particularly difficult to manage. On a daily basis people with AS must fit into a world that seems totally foreign to them and this can increase feelings of alienation and anxiety, making life's challenges especially hard to cope with.The first book on anxiety written specifically for adults with Asperger Syndrome, this book offers practical advice on how individuals with AS can manage their anxiety more effectively. As a person with AS who has struggled with feelings of anxiety and learnt how to overcome them, Nick Dubin shares his own tried and tested solutions along with up-to-date research on stress management for individuals with AS, including a chapter on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Dubin explores the key problem areas that can lead to anxiety for people with AS such as lack of social skills, difficulties establishing romantic relationships and uncertainty about employment."Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety" provides real solutions to a common problem and is essential reading for anyone with AS who has trouble managing stress. The book will also be of interest to family members, teachers and other professionals working with individuals with AS.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A remarkable and keenly insightful work from a brilliant and emerging leader in the autism self-advocacy community." - William Stillman, author of Autism and the God Connection and Demystifying the Autistic Experience"

About the Author

Nick Dubin was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in 2004. He holds a Bachelor's Degree in Communications from Oakland University, a Master's Degree in Learning Disabilities from the University of Detroit Mercy, and a Specialist Degree in Psychology from the Michigan School of Professional Psychology. He is the author of Asperger Syndrome and Bullying and two DVDs, Asperger Syndrome and Employment and Being Bullied, all published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. Nick lives in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan.

Product Details

• Paperback: 222 pages
• Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers; 1 edition (March 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 184310895X
• ISBN-13: 978-1843108955
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #20,772 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #27 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Personal Health > Children's Health > Autism & Asperger's Syndrome
  • #41 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Anxiety Disorders
  • #75 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Personal Health > Stress > Stress Management

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

154 of 155 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent & highly recommend, March 4, 2009

By 

The Taminator "There's no going back. You've ... (The People's Republic of Indiana) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management (Paperback)

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Oddly, I found out I had AS about the same time as the author-- 2004. The good news was that I wasn't an idiot, or a jerk, or cold-- my brain just works differently. The bad news was that it's a neurotypical world, and I'm just living in it. For most of my life, that means I've just been getting by having no idea what the problem was or how to help myself. It's hard to list all the disadvantages and frustrations that can result from AS, simply because there are so many. Multiple social failures and other issues can cause anxiety, depression and the dreaded meltdowns that I now know I've been having all my life.

As an adult, getting by has been hard. Getting a diagnosis was harder. Getting help has been next to impossible. Doctors I've spoken with range from those who don't even know what I'm talking about, to those who equate autistic with stupid and completely blow me off. I even get those who simply don't want to help me because as an adult my brain is "hard-wired," meaning that there is nothing they can do for me as an adult because my brain has already formed into what it is. Almost all services and books I've found seem to be geared toward children, whose brains are still forming and can be trained to cope with their condition and get along much better in a neurotypical world.

So you can imagine my excitement at the opportunity to read a book like this-- a self-help book written by an adult Aspie, for adult Aspies. I don't know how else to put it, but Dubin "speaks the language." When I'm reading, I feel as though I'm reading my own writing from another dimension, or the writing of a kindred spirit. While neurotypicals will certainly understand his writing, Aspies themselves will "feel" it. Finally, someone like me who can tell it like it is, someone who has a lot of past experiences in common with me who has pertinent advice and dare I say it-- a message of hope.

Knowing that I am different, that there is a concrete reason for my difference from humans, has been half the battle. Learning to live in your world is the other half, and I think this book will prove beneficial even to non-aspies who just have an anxiety problem. This book has helped me see the benefits of cognative behavioral therapy (CBT) where neurotypical medical professionals were unable, or unwilling, to communicate it to me. While no book is a substitute for therapy, if you don't think you need a therapist, the tools provided here can be very effective.

I realize now that I've lost jobs and promotions because of my difference, so I was already aware that I need to seek out jobs more suited to my capabilities. The chapter on employment will prove invaluable to any aspie who has been struggling with employment. There are so many wonderful things we can do given the chance! Dubin discusses how and when seek a therapist, the dreaded meltdowns, and even how anxiety affects your physical health. It also offers concrete, understandable advice on dating-- I've been married since I was 19 so I kind of skipped that part of life, but so many lonely Aspies will find this a useful chapter.

There is a chapter which discusses the shame associated with AS, something that desperately needs to be addressed on a much wider scale than just a few pages in a book like this. It will give an Aspie tools to deal with their own shame, but it's not going to stop the shame that seems very deeply rooted in a lot of family members of those with AS. This is something that is going to require a fundamental shift in the way society and our human family members perceive us, not a few pages in one book. ("Have you tried NOT being autistic?" Ack!)

Even if you're not religious, don't skip the chapter on spirituality. You'll find answers to a lot of questions about yourself in here, quite unexpectedly I might add. I now understand why I think about death so often and how to deal with that. I thought the interview with Dubin's parents was brave on his part, and offered a very good perspective on the childhood of an Aspie from the outside in.

There is also information throughout the book that neurotypicals will find helpful when dealing with Aspies. In many areas, Dubin explains in no uncertain terms exactly why this causes that, and so forth. I marked areas that I thought were especially pertinent to me with little flags for my husband. Hubby doesn't have a lot of spare time to read things like this, but he did take the time to read through what I felt were key points and examples for me, and this has led to him having a much greater understanding of why I do some things, like my obsessive interests and the meltdowns.

As with any reference book, I would not recommend this as your only reference for Asperger Syndrome or the autism spectrum. This book has not only helped me with its own contents, but through Amazon's recommendations, I've found other resources for adults with AS. This book has been very helpful to me personally and I highly recommend it to anyone with AS, to those who work with people with AS, and for anyone who loves an Aspie.

35 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Truly a Godsend!, May 21, 2009

By 

BeatleBangs1964 (United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management (Paperback)

Nick Dubin has, in addition to being an advocate for people with Asperger's, which is the spectrum partner to autism rightfully takes his place with the pantheon of autism experts, such as Dr. Travis Thompson and Dr. Tony Attwood.

This is a book that parents, educators and the medical community need. This is a book that I feel will break down barriers and remove obstacles to communication and acceptance.

Aspies have long been charged with communication issues. I think the neurotypical (NT) world has communication issues as well, as many Aspies can relate cases of being dismissed; tuned out and rebuffed by their NT counterparts. For Aspies with special interests and technical interests, just TRY to share your gems of wisdom with the average NT listener. I know people with AS who are quite skilled at computer repair; military strategies; have encyclopediac knowledge of certain subjects such as ornithology and have wonderful insights to share, but sadly lack an appreciative audience.

Nick Dubin, who has Asperger's writes of coping with formerly undefined differences in adult life and steps adults on the spectrum CAN take to manage stress and social interactions. A gifted writer, Nick Dubin's voice is the voice of clarity and reason and readers will gain a tremendous amount of knowledge AND self respect after reading this gem of a book.

Receiving a diagnosis of Asperger's in adult life is a life-altering adjustment and a lifetime adjustment adult Aspies make. As another reader on the US review boards stated, it is damned frustrating to be "blown off," that is casually dismissed by neurotypicals (NT) who don't have the patience or the desire to listen to a person on the spectrum try to clarify their position. In fact, it is hard not to draw the conclusion that the NT population has developed a sense of entitlement where Social Codes & Rules are concerned. After all, it is the NT population who make the rules and then penalize people on the spectrum for having trouble following, understanding and knowing when those rules will change. And change they do, always at the behest of the NT poplulation and always to the benefit of the NT population.

As for adults on the spectrum whose brains are "wired differently," "hard wired," that does not mean to live without hope. Many intelligent adults with Asperger's learn cognitively as opposed to intuitively how to navigate that tricky social terrain otherwise known as interaction. For example, a girl with Asperger's used her dolls as props for verbal playbacks. She would use them when re-enacting conversations she had heard or had been part of. When confronted with another child, she would go along with the other child's doll play wherein the dolls interacted, but when left to her own devices, the dolls remained props. This child did not INTUITIVELY know that the dolls were supposed to interact; she COGNITIVELY learned that was the expectation and to go along with it for form's sake when in the presence of others.

A woman, recently diagnosed with Asperger's, said she could not abide small talk and only went along with it as it was "the expected social norm." She could not laugh at jokes she did not find funny, but learned the palatable compromise of smiling, but not laughing or enduring what she did not find amusing. That way everybody won. The person telling the inane joke was not offended; those who laughed for whatever reasons were appeased as well and the woman did not come across as socially out of place. The best part was she did not compromise her beliefs or natural inclinations. She learned to meet others halfway, which is the fairest thing a person can do.

I wish more books for adults on the spectrum did exist and I'm glad to see a growing body of literature as of now. Adult brains may be fully developed, but that is NOT to say that adults with AS cannot learn to work with and around AS and to compensate in areas of challenge.

Jerry Newport and others have helped contribute largely to the needs of adults on the spectrum. Dubin does indeed "speak the language," as duly noted by another US reviewer. Dubin, himself an Aspie understands and does not throw out pompous speculations and windbag theories that many NTs do. My take is, if you want to understand the autism/Asperger's (a/A) perspective, just talk to somebody on the spectrum. You might be delighted AND surprised at the insights people with AS can provide.

Most people with Asperger's are intelligent AND verbal. One thing adult Aspies don't need is for NTs to speculate about a condtion they (NTs) don't have and continue pushing fallacies, such as all Aspies think in pictures, which most emphatically is NOT true. As for the tired savant stereotype, that too is challenged. Savantism affects less than 10% of the a/A population and it is just that very stereotype that has hurt many people with autism and reinforced a lot of myths. I am glad to see others challege them as well.

You can well imagine my sheer joy at coming across a book like this, by someone who "gets it," by having lived the experience. Dubin is an Ambassador, an expert on a Goodwill mission leading NTs to a better understanding of a/A and, hopefully to more tolerant world.

Let's all raise our glasses to Nick Dubin!

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Asperger's Is A Difference Not A Disability, March 8, 2009

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Susan K. Schoonover "Sue Yingling" (Boulder, CO) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management (Paperback)

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As a special educator as well as someone who while not formally diagnosed has more than a couple of symptoms of Aspberger's Syndrome myself this book was very interesting to me. The author, Nick Dubin, is a young man (31 at the time of publication) who was diagnosed with AS in his late twenties and is currently a doctoral candidate. He quite candidly describes his struggles with the cognitive differences and accompanying anxiety a person with Aspberger's often faces as well as providing some of the solutions he has found for coping with these differences. The book does a good job of offering some practical advice concerning dating, employment, meltdowns, finding a therapist if needed and letting go of the past. The most important message from the book is that Asperger's is a difference some people are born with and there are ways to sublimate the problems that often come with this neurological difference in a positive way without feelings of shame or worthlessness. Honesty, loyalty, great ability to focus on areas of interest, high intelligence and passion for things strongly believed in are qualities often found in individuals with Asperger's as well as the quirks that may make day to day life problematic. No two people with Asperger's are exactly alike but this book may be another guide to encourage and help Aspies navigate through life.