Customer Reviews

Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management

5 star:		(33)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Oddly, I found out I had AS about the same time as the author-- 2004. The good news was that I wasn't an idiot, or a jerk, or cold-- my brain just works differently. The bad news was that it's a neurotypical world, and I'm just living in it. For most of my life, that means I've just been getting by having no idea what the problem was or how to help myself. It's hard to list all the disadvantages and frustrations that can result from AS, simply because there are so many. Multiple social failures and other issues can cause anxiety, depression and the dreaded meltdowns that I now know I've been having all my life.

As an adult, getting by has been hard. Getting a diagnosis was harder. Getting help has been next to impossible. Doctors I've spoken with range from those who don't even know what I'm talking about, to those who equate autistic with stupid and completely blow me off. I even get those who simply don't want to help me because as an adult my brain is "hard-wired," meaning that there is nothing they can do for me as an adult because my brain has already formed into what it is. Almost all services and books I've found seem to be geared toward children, whose brains are still forming and can be trained to cope with their condition and get along much better in a neurotypical world.

So you can imagine my excitement at the opportunity to read a book like this-- a self-help book written by an adult Aspie, for adult Aspies. I don't know how else to put it, but Dubin "speaks the language." When I'm reading, I feel as though I'm reading my own writing from another dimension, or the writing of a kindred spirit. While neurotypicals will certainly understand his writing, Aspies themselves will "feel" it. Finally, someone like me who can tell it like it is, someone who has a lot of past experiences in common with me who has pertinent advice and dare I say it-- a message of hope.

Knowing that I am different, that there is a concrete reason for my difference from humans, has been half the battle. Learning to live in your world is the other half, and I think this book will prove beneficial even to non-aspies who just have an anxiety problem. This book has helped me see the benefits of cognative behavioral therapy (CBT) where neurotypical medical professionals were unable, or unwilling, to communicate it to me. While no book is a substitute for therapy, if you don't think you need a therapist, the tools provided here can be very effective.

I realize now that I've lost jobs and promotions because of my difference, so I was already aware that I need to seek out jobs more suited to my capabilities. The chapter on employment will prove invaluable to any aspie who has been struggling with employment. There are so many wonderful things we can do given the chance! Dubin discusses how and when seek a therapist, the dreaded meltdowns, and even how anxiety affects your physical health. It also offers concrete, understandable advice on dating-- I've been married since I was 19 so I kind of skipped that part of life, but so many lonely Aspies will find this a useful chapter.

There is a chapter which discusses the shame associated with AS, something that desperately needs to be addressed on a much wider scale than just a few pages in a book like this. It will give an Aspie tools to deal with their own shame, but it's not going to stop the shame that seems very deeply rooted in a lot of family members of those with AS. This is something that is going to require a fundamental shift in the way society and our human family members perceive us, not a few pages in one book. ("Have you tried NOT being autistic?" Ack!)

Even if you're not religious, don't skip the chapter on spirituality. You'll find answers to a lot of questions about yourself in here, quite unexpectedly I might add. I now understand why I think about death so often and how to deal with that. I thought the interview with Dubin's parents was brave on his part, and offered a very good perspective on the childhood of an Aspie from the outside in.

There is also information throughout the book that neurotypicals will find helpful when dealing with Aspies. In many areas, Dubin explains in no uncertain terms exactly why this causes that, and so forth. I marked areas that I thought were especially pertinent to me with little flags for my husband. Hubby doesn't have a lot of spare time to read things like this, but he did take the time to read through what I felt were key points and examples for me, and this has led to him having a much greater understanding of why I do some things, like my obsessive interests and the meltdowns.

As with any reference book, I would not recommend this as your only reference for Asperger Syndrome or the autism spectrum. This book has not only helped me with its own contents, but through Amazon's recommendations, I've found other resources for adults with AS. This book has been very helpful to me personally and I highly recommend it to anyone with AS, to those who work with people with AS, and for anyone who loves an Aspie.

Nick Dubin has, in addition to being an advocate for people with Asperger's, which is the spectrum partner to autism rightfully takes his place with the pantheon of autism experts, such as Dr. Travis Thompson and Dr. Tony Attwood.

This is a book that parents, educators and the medical community need. This is a book that I feel will break down barriers and remove obstacles to communication and acceptance.

Aspies have long been charged with communication issues. I think the neurotypical (NT) world has communication issues as well, as many Aspies can relate cases of being dismissed; tuned out and rebuffed by their NT counterparts. For Aspies with special interests and technical interests, just TRY to share your gems of wisdom with the average NT listener. I know people with AS who are quite skilled at computer repair; military strategies; have encyclopediac knowledge of certain subjects such as ornithology and have wonderful insights to share, but sadly lack an appreciative audience.

Nick Dubin, who has Asperger's writes of coping with formerly undefined differences in adult life and steps adults on the spectrum CAN take to manage stress and social interactions. A gifted writer, Nick Dubin's voice is the voice of clarity and reason and readers will gain a tremendous amount of knowledge AND self respect after reading this gem of a book.

Receiving a diagnosis of Asperger's in adult life is a life-altering adjustment and a lifetime adjustment adult Aspies make. As another reader on the US review boards stated, it is damned frustrating to be "blown off," that is casually dismissed by neurotypicals (NT) who don't have the patience or the desire to listen to a person on the spectrum try to clarify their position. In fact, it is hard not to draw the conclusion that the NT population has developed a sense of entitlement where Social Codes & Rules are concerned. After all, it is the NT population who make the rules and then penalize people on the spectrum for having trouble following, understanding and knowing when those rules will change. And change they do, always at the behest of the NT poplulation and always to the benefit of the NT population.

As for adults on the spectrum whose brains are "wired differently," "hard wired," that does not mean to live without hope. Many intelligent adults with Asperger's learn cognitively as opposed to intuitively how to navigate that tricky social terrain otherwise known as interaction. For example, a girl with Asperger's used her dolls as props for verbal playbacks. She would use them when re-enacting conversations she had heard or had been part of. When confronted with another child, she would go along with the other child's doll play wherein the dolls interacted, but when left to her own devices, the dolls remained props. This child did not INTUITIVELY know that the dolls were supposed to interact; she COGNITIVELY learned that was the expectation and to go along with it for form's sake when in the presence of others.

A woman, recently diagnosed with Asperger's, said she could not abide small talk and only went along with it as it was "the expected social norm." She could not laugh at jokes she did not find funny, but learned the palatable compromise of smiling, but not laughing or enduring what she did not find amusing. That way everybody won. The person telling the inane joke was not offended; those who laughed for whatever reasons were appeased as well and the woman did not come across as socially out of place. The best part was she did not compromise her beliefs or natural inclinations. She learned to meet others halfway, which is the fairest thing a person can do.

I wish more books for adults on the spectrum did exist and I'm glad to see a growing body of literature as of now. Adult brains may be fully developed, but that is NOT to say that adults with AS cannot learn to work with and around AS and to compensate in areas of challenge.

Jerry Newport and others have helped contribute largely to the needs of adults on the spectrum. Dubin does indeed "speak the language," as duly noted by another US reviewer. Dubin, himself an Aspie understands and does not throw out pompous speculations and windbag theories that many NTs do. My take is, if you want to understand the autism/Asperger's (a/A) perspective, just talk to somebody on the spectrum. You might be delighted AND surprised at the insights people with AS can provide.

Most people with Asperger's are intelligent AND verbal. One thing adult Aspies don't need is for NTs to speculate about a condtion they (NTs) don't have and continue pushing fallacies, such as all Aspies think in pictures, which most emphatically is NOT true. As for the tired savant stereotype, that too is challenged. Savantism affects less than 10% of the a/A population and it is just that very stereotype that has hurt many people with autism and reinforced a lot of myths. I am glad to see others challege them as well.

You can well imagine my sheer joy at coming across a book like this, by someone who "gets it," by having lived the experience. Dubin is an Ambassador, an expert on a Goodwill mission leading NTs to a better understanding of a/A and, hopefully to more tolerant world.

Let's all raise our glasses to Nick Dubin!

As a special educator as well as someone who while not formally diagnosed has more than a couple of symptoms of Aspberger's Syndrome myself this book was very interesting to me. The author, Nick Dubin, is a young man (31 at the time of publication) who was diagnosed with AS in his late twenties and is currently a doctoral candidate. He quite candidly describes his struggles with the cognitive differences and accompanying anxiety a person with Aspberger's often faces as well as providing some of the solutions he has found for coping with these differences. The book does a good job of offering some practical advice concerning dating, employment, meltdowns, finding a therapist if needed and letting go of the past. The most important message from the book is that Asperger's is a difference some people are born with and there are ways to sublimate the problems that often come with this neurological difference in a positive way without feelings of shame or worthlessness. Honesty, loyalty, great ability to focus on areas of interest, high intelligence and passion for things strongly believed in are qualities often found in individuals with Asperger's as well as the quirks that may make day to day life problematic. No two people with Asperger's are exactly alike but this book may be another guide to encourage and help Aspies navigate through life.

I've just finished reading this, and though I don't write many reviews on Amazon, I feel a need to contrast all of the positive and glowing reviews on here with my own experience, which is summed up by a feeling of vague disappointment.

This book is mainly composed of brief reinterpretations of a few currently in vogue psychological theories, though the ideas and applications are not very thoroughly described, and the reader would be better served by going to the original sources.

Also, this book is very strongly based in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and if you do not feel that is something that is very effective for you, then you will probably feel a lot of friction between yourself and the text. I myself have been through an infatuation with CBT, but I've come to realize that it just isn't effective for me, and I am afraid that the very strong emphasis that the author encourages the reader to place on 'rationality' and 'objectivity' can drive a person further from their emotional self, when the target readership is already prone to emotional trouble.

This review isn't meant to slam the author in any way, and as he's still relatively young I'm sure that more weighty and significant books could well be in his future. I just wouldn't encourage people to get their hopes up before reading this one.

From all the books I have read on Asperger Syndrome, ( and there have been many!) this has to
be the best, by far.
Nick Dubin takes us deep into the core of what it is like to have AS, but more than this, he offers
possible solutions to the problem of overwhelming anxiety. It not only makes an interesting and
informative read, because of its wealth of anecdotal information - but I believe it is the first of its
kind to offer real hope to people struggling to live with AS.
A do-it-yourself psychotherapy book - it offers real solutions, promotes acceptance of AS
and at the same time empowers the reader to think positively about the benefits of having this
enigmatic developmental 'difference'.
A must-have book for anyone with AS or interested in learning more about AS.

This book is well-written and has tips that are helpful even for people without Asperger's Syndrome. It's definitely a plus that the author is writing about the subject from a first-hand perspective and doesn't offer blithe platitudes. Recommended!

Nick Dubin has expertise in this subject at both a personal and a professional level. Dr. Dubin has recently completed a doctoral degree in Psychology and he has Asperger syndrome. This combination gives credibility to the book's generally optomistic tone. It also allows him to seamlessly weave together personal experience and professional training in a way that helps the reader to apply the strategies in his or her own life.

The book is intended primarily for adults with Asperger syndrome, but I believe that it would be of use to anyone that would like to be able to deal more effectively with anxiety. I also think that educators that work with children on the autism spectrum would do well to read this book, as it provides important insights into anxiety from the point of view of someone with Asperger syndrome. This can be of great benefit because young children on the autism spectrum often have difficulty communicating their feelings to teachers and therapists, which often leads to unfortunate misunderstandings.

Many of the suggestions are based on a Cognitive Behavioral Approach, which is generally well suited to the talents of many high functioning persons on the autism spectrum. The book provides a wide variety of strategies which ensures that the reader will find something of use here. Important information is conveniently summarized at the end of each chapter.

Overall, this is a very important book and I give it my highest recommendation.

It took a lot of courage for Nick Dubin to write this book and I like the fact that he researched Asperger Syndrome since he was diagnosed with it himself. He deals with the symptoms (which can range from unpredicabilty to hypersensity to even perfectionism) and offers advice on how to deal with it (these come at the end of each chapter as "action points"). He shows how to deal with it in school, the workplace, dating and relationships. He discusses cognitive behavior theory and even gives advice on getting a psychotherapist. He also interviews his parents in order to show how others close to someone with AS can better cope with it.

People with Asperger's Disorder have a tougher time dealing with stress and anxiety. Written from an aspie's point of view, this book covers not only covers the subject of anxiety, but the reasons why the anxiety comes on and what you can do to deal with it or prevent it in the first place. I've struggled with anxiety all my life, tried several medications to treat it, but nothing ever truly worked until I started meditating, so I was surprised and excited to see Buddhism and mindfulness brought up as one of the ways to deal with stress. Several other methods are discussed as well, some that you can do yourself and some that need the help of a psychotherapist. I found the book to be extremely helpful and would recommend it to others with Asperger's.

I have AS and im very sensitive to touch and loud sounds. I knew that my sensitivity to touch and loud sounds were cousing me a lot of axiety, but i didnt know that my cognition, or my way of thinking, was also part of the problem. The info i found in this book about CBT helped me to see why my anxiety was getting out of control. Today, i can say that my anxiety is still part of my life, but thanks to the "tools" i found in this great book, my axiety is under control. Thanks Dubin, You are my hero!