Customer Reviews

Asperger's and Girls

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

As an Aspie female, I was a little taken back by how much I fit the bill and yet how much I felt the authors assumed we don't understand. I don't think it is so much not "understanding" as an inability to "apply" the information to ourselves. For myself, as I feel that I am on the "outside looking in," the body I see when I look down does not seem to be attached to my brain -- therefore, it is not my body and not my responsibility. I wonder if that statement makes sense to anyone out there?

I was so anxious to get this book and am very let down. Nearly every one of the "experts" are not Aspies, and they repeat the same information over and over, many times quoting and requoting one another. It also seemed to dwell over and over on menstrual periods. There really is more to a female than that.

It's a very shallow book. Each "expert" seemed to type up their own disjointed report and they all got smashed together and called a book. It would have been much more worthwhile if one person wrote the book and covered more topics instead of each person repeating.

A book that is leaps and bounds more informative is Liane Holliday Willey's 'Pretending To Be Normal'. She covers so much more ground, is concise, uses so many real world experiences that I could relate to easily. This one doesn't have that.

Many books written about disability are often taken from or about boys experiences,and girls have not yet got on the radar in many areas. I speak from experience as I have a daughter with AS. She is now 22 y.o and I have just discovered this. Not through lack of searching for information, (and misdirection from 'professionals) but by discovering literature written by Tony Attwood et al.

Girls with Aspergers made it very clear to me that there is not one type of AS, it comes in many forms and is mercurial! It also looked at AS from many perspectives. That is from young women writing about being an 'aspie', to others who were teachers, assessors and relatives of the AS person. This meant that I could guage my own experiences and thoughts against others who have experienced similar things, and know that I am not going nuts, and that what I know and see is valid. Very assuring.

Thankfully, my daughter is a reader, and of course she has been as confused as I about her 'difference' - we know she is not stupid as her general knowledge and peculiar abilities keep us on our toes and never fail to astound us. However, her social life leaves a big hole in all our hearts.

So, I gave her this book to read. Tthe lights went on. She was able to identfy with much of what was said. She also found more confidence, and we have been able to share some of her stored anxieties. I too have made a shift in my communication, expectations and approaches to my daughter. This has made a world of difference to how we now get on. I can also speak confidently about her needs (based on AS vocabulary)and how to work with my girl, to agency staff who have been scratching their heads too.

I am now greatly inspired. This book has lifted me out of a long depression and extended grief for my child and myself. I can break now from beating myself up.

If half-stars were allowed, I would have given this book 1 and 1/2 stars, and both of those stars would have been owed strictly to Jennifer Mcilwee Myers (herself an Aspie), for her brilliant essay, "Aspie Do's and Dont's: Dating, Relationships and Marriage." It was nothing short of genius, as well as being moving, refreshing and funny.

It is honestly beyond my comprehension why this piece of art was featured alongside tripe like "Girl to Girl: Advice on Friendship, Bullying and Fitting In" by Lisa Iland. This latter essay was written by a neurotypical young woman who has both a brother, and, apparently, "many friends" on the autistic spectrum, and contains gems like "The Popularity Hierarchy" and "Mainstream Your Imagine". It was as painful to read as you might imagine. I suppose it could be useful enough if one wished to attempt to turn an interesting Asperger's girl into vapid automaton, but it's not a goal of mine.

Slightly more comprehensively written, but equally painful to read, was the essay "Preparing for Puberty and Beyond". It sounds useful, doesn't it? Alas, here's an example: "It is socially appropriate for teenage girls to shave their legs and underarms. Girls who don't shave are likely to be teased and humiliated. Most neurotypical girls decide to shave on their own, but the idea of shaving may not occur to girls with Asperger's. At some point before high school, parents will need to explain the reasons for shaving and carefully instruct their daughters on leg and underarm shaving." Maybe it rings true to you, but, personally, if my precious Aspie daughter grows to leg-shaving age without expressing a desire to shear herself, I don't intend to hand her over a handy dandy Gillette and tell her she'd better get herself looking "socially acceptable." Is this really the kind of advice these kids need?

This books flaunts some pretty big names in the Autism/Asperger's world, such as Tony Attwood and Temple Grandin. I think "flaunts" is accurate enough: Dr. Attwood and Dr. Grandin's works are merely token gestures, small essays at the beginning and at the end. One is left with the feeling that the creators wanted their names on the book to give it intellectual heft that it otherwise sorely lacks.

My advice: Find this book at your local library, and read "Aspie Do's and Dont's", as well as the short selections by Drs Attwood and Grandin. Don't spend your hard-earned money on it. Save it to spend on anything else by Tony Attwood and/or Temple Grandin; you'll get a lot more out of it.

It's high time a book about girls with Asperger's joined the growing plethora of autism/Asperger's (a/A) literature. This is an excellent book that discusses a previously overlooked population, girls on the spectrum. Women From Another Planet?: Our Lives in the Universe of Autism is the ideal companion book to this one as it is a compilation of essays by and about women who are on the spectrum.

How I wish I had this book when I was a tween! It is very enlightening and empowering. Drs. Attwood and Grandin offer their input and I raise my glass to Dr. Attwood for removing the stigma from autism. I think his words of wisdom deserve a place of high honor among a/A and NT (neurotypical) alike. Hats off to Dr. Attwood!

This brilliant and sorely needed work illustrates the social challenges girls with Asperger's face; it offers a nonjudgmental look at how Asperger's behavior is often mistinterpreted by the NT world. Authors McIlwee and Iland are personally involved with Asperger's; McIlwee has Asperger's and Iland's brother and some of her friends are on the spectrum. Hats off to these women for describing the challenges girls with Asperger's face and for speaking to tolerance and the rationale for behaviors that most of the NT world condemns.

This book will take all readers through the emotional spectrum; you will run the gamut from anger; tears; laughter; surprise and hope. Hope is the silver thread that runs throughout this book and is what connects every passage. That silver thread is really a common thread that links all individuals, a/A and NT alike. This book is the voice of reason and hope. We need this book!

This collection of essays is welcome and needed. However, they won't all be equally useful to everyone. "Preparing for Puberty and Beyond" sounded like it was written in the 1950s, not the 2000s. Waiting until high school to educate a girl about sex is really not good advice. However, I agree with other reviewers who said that the "Dating Dos and Don'ts" article was wonderful. This is probably the best material I have read on dating, ever, ANYWHERE. I wish I could give a copy of this essay to every girl, whether AS or not. While I'm glad this book speaks to sexual diversity to some extent (like in Temple Grandin's essay on her lack of interest in sex), I wish it had covered, even extremely briefly, the fact that AS teens might be gay, bisexual, or transgendered. When I think about it, there's really lots of information on AS and girls that I'd like to see added-- time for Volume 2?

As a newly diagnosed woman with Aspergers, I identified with many statements within the articles written by the other women with Asperger's who wrote in the book. They have helped to give language to describing how it feels to be Aspergers and to be able to share that with others - especially my partner.

This is so incredible. I have a daughter 11 with AS and a nephew 10 with AS and to know that my daughter and nephew are alike but so different, This book will help and encourage me in the months, years to come when puberty sets in. A must read for anyone that works, supports, or has a Girl with AS in their lives.

When I was first diagnosised with Aspergers syndrome at 18, they gave me this book to read and I didnt think I had Aspergers because I didnt think I matched the descriptions, as I develved deeper into reading up on other sources of Aspergers I eventually accepted my diagnosis. Come back to the book a few years later I realized why I didnt accept it. There are certain chapters in this book: especially that puberty chapter that is belittling of aspie girls. It makes us sound naive, innocent, highly vulnerble, in strong need of "special treatment", and "female" mentors, etc. I do not like the overlaying connotations that this book and other sources seem to reflect of aspie girls. Basically, it makes us sound like complete idiots.

Very dry and not as useful as I had hoped for...
It had its moments though and I am glad to have it on my professional reference for parents who want to read more about it from their perspective.