Asperger's Syndrome and Adults... Is Anyone Listening? Essays and Poems by Partners, Parents and Family Members... (Paperback)

by Karen E. Rodman (Editor), Tony Attwood (Introduction) "You would probably not be reading this book if you were not aware of Asperger's Syndrome aka AS - specifically AS in adults, and how..." (more)
Key Phrases: behavior consultant, autistic spectrum, passive aggression, Asperger's Syndrome, Tony Attwood, Path Out of the Darkness (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
The difficulties faced by people with Asperger Syndrome (AS) cannot be underestimated, but the emotional problems experienced by those around them - partners, family and friends - are often overlooked. Focusing on what is referred to as the Cassandra phenomenon, where the neurotypical partner often needs more emotional guidance than the AS partner, this volume gathers together letters, thoughts and poems to give voice to the loneliness, frustration and love felt by many individuals who are close to one or more people with AS. This collection provides the emotional support, insight and understanding needed to deal with the emotions that AS evokes within close relationships.

FAAAS Inc. (Families of Adults Afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome) aims to offer support to the family members of adult individuals afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome.

About the Author
Karen E. Rodman has lived with a husband who was diagnosed in 1996 with Asperger's Syndrome and Tourette's Syndrome at age 69. Karen enjoys travel, her friends, photography, and facilitating "Polly's Place", a cancer support group. She is the founder and president of FAAAS Inc. (www faaas.org), the first website and organisation in the world that recognizes the need of support and validation for family members who are affected by the behaviours of adults with AS. FAAAS Inc. (Families of Adults Afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome) aims to offer support to the family members of adult individuals afflicted with AS. FAAAS Inc., a non-profit organization, also aims to educate the public to the existence of Asperger's Syndrome in the adult population and to bring awareness of this neurological disorder and its ramifications on the "whole" family to the medical communities who are directly or indirectly involved. Another key aspect to the work of FAAAS Inc. is to give the families a measure of reassurance so they can validate their concerns and frustrations as concrete issues rather than simple 'family problems'.

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers; 1 edition (October 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1843107511
• ISBN-13: 978-1843107514
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.3 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #436,374 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great for spouses of Aspies, April 14, 2006

By	Molly Daunen "SAHM" (Phoenix, AZ) - See all my reviews

Finally! A book full of people that understand what it is like to live with and love someone on the spectrum. As the wife of an AS husband, this is so refreshing. Learning more about AS really helped our marriage. I am always so surprised to hear the inevitable people on the spectrum complaining that they will not change or learn at all - I guess they're perfect. Both the NT partner and the AS partner have to be accomodating; otherwise, AS people wouldn't have *any* family or friends left to share their lives. If I can gently remind my husband to give a little eye contact, and he knows it is something I find helpful or even romantic, then he is happy to go the extra mile. It's great to read a book that can shed some light on this. Any adult, NT, AS or otherwise should be mature enough to grow and work on things that are a problem for family members. NTs shouldn't have to do all the sacrificing, and I think AS folks with this attitude are stuck in childhood.

20 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Is Anyone Listening?, November 4, 2003

By	"tpitt54" (Melbourne, Australia) - See all my reviews

Rodman's book contains essays and poems by people living with an an adult who has Asperger's Syndrome. Some of the contributors are partners, some are parents and some are siblings. (The only group not represented is those who grew up with an Asperger's parent.)

This is the first book to illustrate the tremendous difficulties and deep emotional pain faced by the families of Asperger's sufferers. Help in many forms is now available for the sufferers themselves, but very little support or compassion is available for their spouses and families, who often struggle with soul-searing loneliness, frustration, loss of self-esteem, bewilderment and profound feelings of rejection.

The following quote comes from Rodman's own essay:

"Is anyone listening?... We, the families with our blistered hearts and souls and damaged psyche, are the end-product of undiagnosed and untreated Asperger's Syndrome. How many families are suffering out there? The feelings of rejection and loneliness plays a major role in the lives of the Aspergers' family. You and your feelings are not recognized by the afflicted person."

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is battling alone with an AS partner, parent or sibling. You will discover that you are not alone any longer.

I also recommend it strongly to all psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors and other professionals who deal with AS. Many of them have absolutely no idea what the families are going through. It is time these voices were heard.

22 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars We're listening...and hearing, December 21, 2005

By	Gina Pera "Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?, a... (San Francisco Bay Area, United States) - See all my reviews

This book is a gem. This and Tony Attwood's book Asperger Syndrome are key to understanding what happens when Asperger's is neither detected nor understood. Lots of heartbreak, endless hurt, and confusion all the way around.

Do therapists know about this? Probably a little less than they know about adult AD/HD, which is darn little. Yet, AD/HD and AS are frequent traveling companions.

In my volunteer work moderating support groups for the partners of people with ADHD, I've learned that it's the people in the trenches (e.g. the people in these relationships) who must do the educating. They must talk to each other, compare notes, read what the top experts have to say, and not wait for any therapist or doctor to name their plight, much less help guide them out of it.

Most times, it just won't happen. Asperger's will be completely missed. You'll be told you have "communication issues" or that one is "frozen in his/her feelings, probably from childhood trauma" or any of a number of psychotherapeutic explanations that take no account of brain structure or brain chemistry. End result will be confused with cause. And, nothing will change. it could even get worse, as both partners labor under the illusion that the others' behavior is intentionally hurtful or deliberately "abusive."

These stories smack of heartfelt truth and vividly bring to life the many aspects of Asperger's Syndrome. Even if you've never heard of AS or think you don't know of anyone with it, chances are you do and just never made the connection.

Karen Rodman along with the FAAAS website and organization she founded perform a great public service.

Gina Pera, author and advocate
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