Customer Reviews

How to Be an Assertive (Not Aggressive) Woman in Life, in Love, and on the Job : the Total Guide to Self-Assertiveness

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1 star:		(1)

 

 

I can't recommend this book enough. If you want to be able to take control of your life, say no, express your feelings, state what you want but have never been able to. If you always played the "good little" woman role as you felt that is what you ought to do and then felt really bad after. This book teaches you and shows you how your feelings and desires are valid. How to express them without being seen to be aggressive and also that in order to gain respect you have to respect yourself. I finished this book a couple of weeks ago and started putting into practice what I learnt from day one. I feel 100% better about myself and have also noticed the change in attidudes of those around me. Every woman should read this.

This is an excellent book for any woman who wants to learn how to finally stand up for herself in various situations and to various people, such as asserting yourself socially, speaking up to a rude salesperson, responding to putdowns, handling and expressing anger, asking for a better table at a restaurant, asking your boss for a raise etc. While reading it I found that many of the scenarios that she had written about applied to me. There are excellent tips to apply to your everyday life, and I have incorporated most of them into mine. You can finally learn how to break out of becoming a "shrinking violet" or whatever your case may be and become an assertive and not aggressive woman.

I first "did" this book many years ago, when I had no self-esteem at all and was known for being aggressive & dominant, not to mention manipulative. How else did women get anything?

I was amazed with this book, I did all the quizzes which were extremely enlightening & helpful, I made notes in the margins & wrote all over it, carrying it around like a bible, literally referring to it in some situations. It took less than 6 months to totally change my entire life--because of this book! It is that powerful! It helped me get out of abusive relationships, to break the self-destructive patterns, and to like myself.

Over the years I became ill with chronic invisible pain & diaseases that destroyed my self-esteem once again, I had somehow forgotten all I had learned. So I just bought a new copy & it is still the best how-to book on assertiveness I've ever used. Every woman owes it to herself to at least read this book, even if you don't see yourself in it, you might see a friend or family member that you can pass it on to.

It is THE BEST book I've ever read. In fact, I read it every time I have to meet my in-laws. It has really changed my entire life. Earlier I used to get really stressed before I had to meet my in-laws. Now I tackle them very well, thanks to this book. My friend bought 6 copies of this book and gave them to all her female friends/cousins.

I borrowed this book from a library a few months back, and was impressed with how well most of it has held up over the decades since it's been written. I'd gone for assertiveness training back in the late 80's/early 90's, and I have to say, this book is much more comprehensive than what I'd experienced. Ms. Baer makes good use of both personal examples and a studied, systematic approach. In this way, she helps the reader "see" examples in their own lives where they've given up their rights, while giving them a way to step back from the emotions, reassess how they could have responded, and then re-approach similar situations to get a more satisfactory result in the future.

In the years since this book was written, both women and men have had to deal with a slew of messages telling them how each gender "is," in dogmatic and inflexible terms. True, some of the ideas, and the culture in which they are embedded show through into the writing - something another commenter felt made the work "outdated." However, I think Ms. Baer sidesteps the psychobabble neatly with her intelligent, conversational style and practical reasoning, which transcends the decade in which this book was written. She makes no bones about the fact that people manipulate to get their way, but advocates for a more direct, honest approach. I believe this is one of the strengths of her methodology, and why this book's recommendations have well-outlived the 1970's.

People generally respect a dignified, honest person who directly and respectfully requests what they want. I can see nothing wrong with advocating that individuals take this approach in all areas of their lives, as just the act of standing up for oneself builds confidence and self-respect. In essence, I believe that is the heart of Ms. Baer's message, and that is why this book has withstood the test of time.

This book has taught me to "Believe" in myself as a woman, who had low self esteem But,more importantly it has taught me to be compassionate and understanding and not overbearing.I can being assertive,commpassionate yet dignified and To some that would be an art. Contrary to believe "not all woman are self absorbed" It has taught me, that you can uphold your dignity and not be overbearing. So, on the whole It was a great book that I would recommend to any woman who has any problems with communicating. I am surely over 13 and let me be asertive with you I resent your impication that my comments are that of only a 13 year old !It may "not" be what your "saying" but it what your suggesting ?I am a 44 yr. old woman who has come along way in life and refused to be labeled as one who does not have her "stuff" together

I was so looking forward to reading "How to be an Assertive (Not Aggressive..." However, as I started the book I felt I was back in the 70's. Women have come along way, and yes, we still have a long way to go if we choose to be "accepted" into a "mans world". This book is out dated.