Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way - and Getting Away with it [Paperback]

Steven B. Green (Author), Dennis LaValle (Author), Chris Illuminati (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 18, 2010

Steve Carrell--the Pretend Asshole
Ari Gold--the Hollywood Asshole
Simon Cowell--the Trying-Too-Hard Asshole
Mickey Rourke--the Reformed Asshole
Barney Stintson--the True Asshole

To truly be an asshole is an art form. It requires the perpetrator to be cocky yet quietly confident, snide as well as sincere, sneaky while in your face. Better men than most have failed miserably. That's why there's this guide--the first book to walk you through the tricks of the trade and the numerous benefits the attitude reaps.

You will find essential information on how to sharpen your prick skills. Whether you're way too over-the-top and need to tone it down, or are a shy wallflower who needs to turn it up, this book is your crash course in assholeology. You will now be able to get everything you ever wanted--in work, love, and life--by being an asshole.

It's every guy's handbook on how to be an asshole, without getting a black eye.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Steve Greenberg (Los Angeles, CA) is an experienced actor and even more experienced asshole. His acting career has included stints in regional theatre, off-Broadway musicals, and NYC'S Gotham City Improv Company. Currently, he performs improvisational comedy with the L.A. Connection Comedy. Greenberg lives at home with a wife, three children, two dogs, and several cats in an old house that Bob Vila would run from.

Dennis Lavalle (Los Angeles, CA) has dealt with plenty of not-ready-for-primetime assholes as a Hollywood acting coach. A graduate of New York University, Lavalle knows what it takes to properly pull off the asshole attitude on both coasts. He credits his wife Jeanne and their two kids for saving him from a life of meaningless sexual interludes ending in an alcohol-induced death face-down in the gutter.

Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and fulltime a**hole. He's a regular contributor to sites like AskMen.com, Asylum.com, and TheBachelorGuy.com, and pretends to be witty daily on www.chrisilluminati.com. He lives with his wife in New Jersey.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Adams Media (January 18, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1598699105
• ISBN-13: 978-1598699104
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 6.7 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #33,587 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good Read, April 7, 2010

By 

Forrest Nelson "Gump" (USN, Everywhere) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way - and Getting Away with it (Paperback)

This was a interesting read into the life of an a**hole. Funny and entertaining in most aspects yet infomative. I must say I was a little disapointed in the shortness of the book and it tends to seem a little vauge at times. I would recommend and one to buy this even though its a short read it will still keep you entertained unless of course your a d-bag.

30 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Man up and take control: A**holes have the system beat, December 15, 2009

By 

Jared Castle (Roseburg, Oregon United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way - and Getting Away with it (Paperback)

A**holeology thrusts a pink slip at the self-help industry, celebrating a**holes and their achievements at our expense while clarifying what makes them different (and more successful) than douche bags. This step-by-step guide will help you redefine victory and teach you how to be an a**hole, at work, at play and, most importantly, with the opposite sex.

A**holeology answers "Why are books, movies, and television shows about a**holes so popular?" Ask a person to describe a**holes and they spit out, "Vile! Loathsome! Arrogant! Self-centered! Belligerent! A jerk! The worst of the worst! The lowest of the low!" All are accurate descriptions however, while you were stuttering through a litany of insults, the a**hole moved in on your girlfriend or iced you out of a major promotion. Likely, he did both.

The book's title led me to believe we would steer into crude seas. I fondly recalled Dirty Jokes and Beer by Drew Carey, a profane little memoir about "boozing, throwing dice, and chasing skirts" that substituted transitional paragraphs with dick jokes. However, aside from the titular profanity, A**holeology closely resembles The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.

Authors and self-proclaimed a**holes Steve Greenberg, Dennis Lavalle and Chris Illuminati skillfully balance sarcasm with sage advice. Unapologetic in their approach, they serve up truisms like "A**holes are never forgotten" in 24-pt type. Throughout the book, they cite "The Quotable A**hole" with wisdom passed along by the likes of Michael Corleone, Ari Gold, Tony Soprano and Gordon Gekko.

I finished the first chapter, "What Makes An A**hole?" and read a synopsis of the three essential things every a**hole must have: "1. Thick skin; 2. The ability to say no to anyone; and 3. Confidence coming out of, well, your ass."

`Nuff said.

A**holeology doesn't dwell on civilized notions, so I'm wagering A**holeology outsells another a**hole-titled self-help book also scheduled for release in 2010: The No A**hole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't by Robert Sutton. In Chapter 6 "The A**hole at Work", A**holeology delivers these sharp punches:

"...eliminate the dead weight called `cofriends' who drag down your progress on the job."

"Become part of the smoking crew that...always bring forth the most venomous and juiciest gossip."

"The longer the meeting, the less the subordinates will take away."

A**holeology gives solid advice with a sense of humor. This time, a**holes get the joke. My only suggestion is that the authors secure Vince Vaughn for the audio version. I distinctly heard the voice of Trent (or Jeremy Grey) in my head as I read several passages. Be sure to add "Let Me Be Myself" by 3 Doors Down and "A**Hole" by Denis Leary to the soundtrack, too.

In summary, are a**holes really popular? The answer lies in this clever trick: Search "How to Win Friends and Influence People" under the Amazon books category and you get 2,708 results. Search "a**hole" under the Amazon books category and you get 51,840 results.

Any more questions?

Man up. Take control. Buy the book.

Rating: Five stars.

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining, yet real world situations to learn from, May 31, 2010

By 

Chris (SoCal) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way - and Getting Away with it (Paperback)

If you work in an office atmosphere, you will appreciate this read even more. Since reading the book, I have moved up in career and learned how to finally stop being the nice guy. More so, I now know how to tell people "no". I'm almost a certified a$$hole. Give me another year of practicing and I'll be on top of the world!