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Assholes Finish First [Hardcover]

Tucker Max
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (194 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 28, 2010
What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another bestselling book on your hands.

Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."

You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking:

• What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets?

• What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does?

• At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job?

• When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name on her body, what is the appropriate reaction?

The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences:

His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.


Frequently Bought Together

Assholes Finish First + I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert + Hilarity Ensues
Price for all three: $48.73

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Tucker Max received his BA with highest honors from the University of Chicago in 1998, and attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he graduated with a JD in 2001. His first book, "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell," is a #1 NY Times Best Seller, has spent over 150 weeks on the NY Times Best Seller List over five calendar years, and has sold over 1 million copies. He has also been credited with being the originator and leader of the literary genre, "fratire," and was nominated to Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential List in 2009. He currently lives in Austin, Texas, and can be reached through his website, TuckerMax.com.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 416 pages
  • Publisher: Gallery; First Edition edition (September 28, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1416938745
  • ISBN-13: 978-1416938743
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (194 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #58,794 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Tucker Max's first book, I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL, is a #1 NY Times Best Seller and has spent over 150 weeks on that list over five calendar years. There are currently over 1.5 million copies sold. Max co-wrote and produced the movie based on his book, also titled "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell." He has been credited as the originator and leader of the literary genre, "fratire," and was nominated to Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential List in 2009.

Tucker Max received his BA with highest honors from the University of Chicago in 1998. He attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he graduated with a JD in 2001 (despite the fact that he neglected to buy any of his textbooks for his final two years and spent part of one semester-while still enrolled in classes-living in Cancun). He currently lives in Austin, Texas, and can be reached through is website, TuckerMax.com.

Customer Reviews

I actually read this before IHTSBIH and I really liked this one over the first book. ChicagoSammie  |  22 reviewers made a similar statement
Literally laughed until I cried while reading. Emily K Mastriana  |  25 reviewers made a similar statement
Now for the not so good part - Most of the stories seem repetitive from the first book. Krishnan R  |  12 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
50 of 58 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Poor follow up to a pretty funny book. April 26, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book was a huge dissapointment. I really enjoyed IHTSBIH, but this book pales in comparison. Tucker Max seems to have bought into his own "celebrity" and it's quite annoying. "I AM TUCKER MAX!!!"...how many times do I have to read this line in all caps?!? He shouts so much during this book because he has so little new to say. What we have here folks is a one hit wonder. Do not bother with this one unless someone gives it to you for free and even then you probably will want your money back.
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199 of 243 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars SO DISAPPOINTING!!! October 24, 2010
By Smith
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I was a huge fan of the last book, I've read it 3 or 4 times. It was hilarious. But this book was such a let down. It only had a couple good stories and the rest were the kind of boring regular stories that everyone has. Most of these stories aren't even good enough to tell a couple friends over a few beers let alone put in a book. Instead of telling hilarious stories Tucker has chosen to tell a bunch of average stories trying to stress how much tail he gets and how great he thinks he is. He really over does it trying to stress that point. And most of the stories happened before the last book even came out which leads me to believe that these are just the stories that weren't good enough for the last book. This book was almost as bad as the his movie, which if you were lucky enough to have not seen it was aweful. The movie was one long boring chick flick about friendship and understanding.

Seriously, in one story a girl starts out cool but then gets crazy and ends with her throwing an ipod at him...that's it. Or some virgins want him to be their first and he slept with another midget. There wasn't any actual stories behind these subjects, just him saying that he did this stuff. There are only two good stories in this book, the rest is just some sad and creepy older guy trying to make the younger kids think he's still cool. Tucker started a new genre then became the Carson Daily of it. He took something great and made it suck just like Carson did with music videos.

So save yourself the time and money and skip this book, just re-read the last one.
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61 of 76 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Dissappointed... February 20, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
Hoped for something funny. Makes Dane Cook look like Louis CK. Unbelievably bad storytelling, topped with annoying self affirmations every other sentence. Think american psycho starring stuart smalley.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious!
By far the funniest book I've ever read. Much better than the movie. Tucker Max is a genius in comedic literature if you life him or not!
Published 13 days ago by Victor Win
2.0 out of 5 stars I Suppose He Really Does Prove They Finish First
I have never read a single word from Tucker Max until I happened upon this book at an international airport. I picked it up months later from a local bookstore. Read more
Published 1 month ago by verletzen
5.0 out of 5 stars HILARIOUS
This book is hilarious. Tucker Max has done a great job in his style of writing and I will look forward to any of his future writings after his fratire.
Published 1 month ago by Eric C. Sefcik
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book.
Awesome read! Everyone should read this book at least once. At least every guy should.

I'm only writing these because there is a word minimum.
Published 1 month ago by Tracy A
5.0 out of 5 stars LOL
Funniest book you'll ever read, except for maybe his other one. You'll laugh so loud you will cry, and not care.
Published 1 month ago by Botch
5.0 out of 5 stars Another amazing book
Tucker max delivers yet again with another hilarious compilation of drunken escapades and ruthless insults to the female and male genders
Published 1 month ago by amy
3.0 out of 5 stars No different
Like his other book IHTSBIH, the romp stories sound the same. Yet the degradation of the ladies is still funny. I enjoyed the read.
Published 1 month ago by online shopper
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
Tucker is back and hilarious as ever. I cannot wait to read his next two books when t finish what I currently have sitting on my book shelf.
Published 1 month ago by Brent
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book super funny
This book will have you laughing your A** off, I'm not a big reader at all but would definitely would recommend this book to others
Published 1 month ago by Jj
5.0 out of 5 stars Another good one!
Four days ago I was looking for a book to read. Sloppy seconds was free so I downloaded it. I am now hooked! I immediately read IHTSBIH and this... in three days. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Jill Novicky
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tucker max is a hilarious prick
It's nice to see everyone reviewing the book has only one review...ever on Amazon...and amazingly that one review is of this book. Very believable.
Oct 11, 2010 by J. Baker |  See all 8 posts
confetti covered quicksand and a**holes finish first... Be the first to reply
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