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3.8 out of 5 stars
Assholes Finish First
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63 of 72 people found the following review helpful
on April 26, 2011
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
This book was a huge dissapointment. I really enjoyed IHTSBIH, but this book pales in comparison. Tucker Max seems to have bought into his own "celebrity" and it's quite annoying. "I AM TUCKER MAX!!!"...how many times do I have to read this line in all caps?!? He shouts so much during this book because he has so little new to say. What we have here folks is a one hit wonder. Do not bother with this one unless someone gives it to you for free and even then you probably will want your money back.
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209 of 253 people found the following review helpful
on October 24, 2010
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I was a huge fan of the last book, I've read it 3 or 4 times. It was hilarious. But this book was such a let down. It only had a couple good stories and the rest were the kind of boring regular stories that everyone has. Most of these stories aren't even good enough to tell a couple friends over a few beers let alone put in a book. Instead of telling hilarious stories Tucker has chosen to tell a bunch of average stories trying to stress how much tail he gets and how great he thinks he is. He really over does it trying to stress that point. And most of the stories happened before the last book even came out which leads me to believe that these are just the stories that weren't good enough for the last book. This book was almost as bad as the his movie, which if you were lucky enough to have not seen it was aweful. The movie was one long boring chick flick about friendship and understanding.

Seriously, in one story a girl starts out cool but then gets crazy and ends with her throwing an ipod at him...that's it. Or some virgins want him to be their first and he slept with another midget. There wasn't any actual stories behind these subjects, just him saying that he did this stuff. There are only two good stories in this book, the rest is just some sad and creepy older guy trying to make the younger kids think he's still cool. Tucker started a new genre then became the Carson Daily of it. He took something great and made it suck just like Carson did with music videos.

So save yourself the time and money and skip this book, just re-read the last one.
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68 of 83 people found the following review helpful
on February 20, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
Hoped for something funny. Makes Dane Cook look like Louis CK. Unbelievably bad storytelling, topped with annoying self affirmations every other sentence. Think american psycho starring stuart smalley.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
on January 29, 2012
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
I empathized with Tucker because I used to be that way when I was 22. The simple fact is guys who actually do what he "does," don't have to tell the world. Michael Jordan doesn't go around telling people that he is the best basketball player in the world, because people can recognize true talent. If Tucker Max wanted to just write about some of his personal experiences then fine, but he is constantly trying to sell you on how awesome he is, by literally writing "I AM AWESOME" nearly every other page.

If you're older than 17, don't waste your money on this book. I can't believe this guy is in his 30s.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
on December 9, 2011
Format: Paperback
What a pompous self centered jerk. He probably wakes up in the morning and makes love to himself. The book was a joke and this guy is a joke. It must be nice to think so highly of yourself, because you know nobody cares about you. Nice lies loser.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on May 29, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
This is the absolute worst book I've ever read in my entire life.

You know, I wrote a really, really, really long review detailing everything I hated about this book. Not enough. If I had room for 1,000 pages, it would still not be enough to convey how much I hate this damn novel. Tucker Max is a terrible, terrible, terrible writer. ... most offensive man alive ...

Now, you might be thinking: "oh, this is a woman - of course she would hate this book. I'll buy it anyway because other people here have said that it's funny."

NO. Sure, I might not be the target demographic for this novel - a nineteen year old girl who likes eating Thin Mints and watching Titanic - but that doesn't mean I automatically hate all sexist, offensive comedians. I enjoy watching Archer, reading stuff by Louis C.K. (or listening to him), and browsing Reddit. My problem with this novel was that:

It's not funny. I have no idea how on Earth this guy sold so many books in the first place (though according to the reviews, his first one was a lot better). I actually started knocking my head against my Kindle - *what* *am* *I* *reading* *why* *am* *I* *reading* *this* *make* *it* *stop* - and finally deleted it from my history forever so I wouldn't be tempted to read more stories (well Paige, maybe it'll get better at THIS part).

He's offensive, but it's ... how do I put this? Reading this book was like being in a crowded bar, listening to bad music and having an old, fat, balding man repeatedly grind against you, shouting obscenities in your ear. Yeah. I think that's an apt description. Uncomfortable, awkward, boring, queasy, mildly disgusting ... you feel like you need a shower afterwards.

Also, Tucker Max cannot spell or write. The top rant was only about the content. I'd go into how s***ty and HORRENDOUS his writing style is, but I'm so sick of thinking about this book and feel like throwing up right now. (Oh, there we go: the way he writes...you feel like you're on a turbulent plane/sea-sick.)

DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY. DO NOT BUY.

Tucker Max: PLEASE GIVE ME BACK MY IQ POINTS. AND SOME THIN MINTS FOR MY TROUBLE. AND ALSO PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY ANY GIRL ALIVE WOULD WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on April 18, 2011
Format: Hardcover
I liked about 90% of Tucker's first book, the NYT best seller I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, and thought it was pretty hilarious (the sushi bar story, etc). This follow-up however was, for the most part, the 10% I didn't care for in IHTSBIH. It seemed to me like a collection of second-rate stories and a bunch of other crude material that I just didn't find that funny. Definitely felt like a weak and forced second book after riding on the coat-tails of his first. I would imagine that most people that liked IHTSBIH won't like this book as much (if at all).
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25 of 33 people found the following review helpful
on January 26, 2011
Format: Hardcover
If you are interested in reading boring stories about sex and alcohol then this book is for you! And by the way. He thinks he is awesome!
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41 of 57 people found the following review helpful
on October 15, 2010
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I'd say I'm pretty disappointed as by comparison to IHTSBIH, which had me laughing out loud on a 4 hour flight and was quite possibly the best humorous read I'd ever had. I had tears rolling down my face and could hardly talk to my husband reading passages to him inflight from IHTSBIH. This follow up, was a disappointment by comparison. I hardly broke a chuckle and I really expected much more. This was despite having read the first chapter free via my kindle. I guess I hoped it would get better and funnier and never really did.
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
on January 21, 2012
Format: Paperback
I can't help it but roll my eyes when I read some reviews of this book. People are so offended by the entire thing, namely with Tucker Max.

I'm so sorry.

Were you expecting depth? A thoughtful, sensitive protagonist, perhaps? You honestly thought you'd get that out of a book entitled A******s Finish First? By a guy who is the self-admitted King of all Debauchery?

Really?

...

Okay. I'm done laughing now, I promise.

But I mean, really.

While Tucker Max is a grade A jerk, he is something much more than that: he is an intelligent, well-educated, and eloquent grade A jerk... which makes him much more dangerous. This guy knows his stuff, unfortunately. And he knows he knows it. And he knows you know he knows it... which makes for some pretty quality, arrogant-as-ever debauchery, in my opinion. (Tucker was a law school student who went to UChicago for undergrad and Duke for law... something he mentions quite a bit to show that, yes, he's better than the rest of us... debatable.)

Not only is Tucker an extremely witty individual with a natural ability for brutal, mean-spirited honesty, but that combined with his intelligence (yes, intelligence. He is a very intelligent individual, education-wise) makes his narrative all the more interesting to read. No, the subject matter is not profound. All of his stories consist of some cocktail of drunken depravity, sexual escapades and mishaps, and the subsequent property destruction.

Another thing that I didn't expect to see in this book: Tucker's humanity. I kid you not. It's there, especially towards the end of the book. Maybe he's realizing that he's getting old and he is a long way from being able to have a family or raise kids at the rate he's going. Maybe he's trying to justify his actions somehow. Or maybe he's just tired of all the stuff he's done in his life and wants a change of pace, for once (doubtful). I got the impression that that is something Mr. Max is unsure about: his future. If you can wade through all the self-idolatry and the "I AM TUCKER MAX!!"es sprinkled throughout the book, you get a glimpse of this uncertainty here and there. It makes me think just how much of his persona is a front.

Overall, I found A******s Finish First to be a superficial, albeit entertaining and brutally honest book. It certainly has been the pioneer of its literary genre: fratire. No, it's not deep, and yes, some of it is quite offensive. Even Tucker apologizes in advance of some of his stories. But that's not the point, at least, not when I was reading it. This book is an escape from reality, a look at the life of one guy who has lived, at the very least, the most unique and wild life I've ever read about.

Bottom line, Tucker Max pushes boundaries, sometimes illegally, most times offensively.

Hilarity ensues.
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