Customer Reviews: Assholes Finish First
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on April 26, 2011
This book was a huge dissapointment. I really enjoyed IHTSBIH, but this book pales in comparison. Tucker Max seems to have bought into his own "celebrity" and it's quite annoying. "I AM TUCKER MAX!!!" many times do I have to read this line in all caps?!? He shouts so much during this book because he has so little new to say. What we have here folks is a one hit wonder. Do not bother with this one unless someone gives it to you for free and even then you probably will want your money back.
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on January 29, 2012
I empathized with Tucker because I used to be that way when I was 22. The simple fact is guys who actually do what he "does," don't have to tell the world. Michael Jordan doesn't go around telling people that he is the best basketball player in the world, because people can recognize true talent. If Tucker Max wanted to just write about some of his personal experiences then fine, but he is constantly trying to sell you on how awesome he is, by literally writing "I AM AWESOME" nearly every other page.

If you're older than 17, don't waste your money on this book. I can't believe this guy is in his 30s.
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on October 24, 2010
I was a huge fan of the last book, I've read it 3 or 4 times. It was hilarious. But this book was such a let down. It only had a couple good stories and the rest were the kind of boring regular stories that everyone has. Most of these stories aren't even good enough to tell a couple friends over a few beers let alone put in a book. Instead of telling hilarious stories Tucker has chosen to tell a bunch of average stories trying to stress how much tail he gets and how great he thinks he is. He really over does it trying to stress that point. And most of the stories happened before the last book even came out which leads me to believe that these are just the stories that weren't good enough for the last book. This book was almost as bad as the his movie, which if you were lucky enough to have not seen it was aweful. The movie was one long boring chick flick about friendship and understanding.

Seriously, in one story a girl starts out cool but then gets crazy and ends with her throwing an ipod at him...that's it. Or some virgins want him to be their first and he slept with another midget. There wasn't any actual stories behind these subjects, just him saying that he did this stuff. There are only two good stories in this book, the rest is just some sad and creepy older guy trying to make the younger kids think he's still cool. Tucker started a new genre then became the Carson Daily of it. He took something great and made it suck just like Carson did with music videos.

So save yourself the time and money and skip this book, just re-read the last one.
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on May 28, 2013
This is the absolute worst book I've ever read in my entire life.

You know, I wrote a really, really, really long review detailing everything I hated about this book. Not enough. If I had room for 1,000 pages, it would still not be enough to convey how much I hate this damn novel. Tucker Max is a terrible, terrible, terrible writer. ... most offensive man alive ...

Now, you might be thinking: "oh, this is a woman - of course she would hate this book. I'll buy it anyway because other people here have said that it's funny."

NO. Sure, I might not be the target demographic for this novel - a nineteen year old girl who likes eating Thin Mints and watching Titanic - but that doesn't mean I automatically hate all sexist, offensive comedians. I enjoy watching Archer, reading stuff by Louis C.K. (or listening to him), and browsing Reddit. My problem with this novel was that:

It's not funny. I have no idea how on Earth this guy sold so many books in the first place (though according to the reviews, his first one was a lot better). I actually started knocking my head against my Kindle - *what* *am* *I* *reading* *why* *am* *I* *reading* *this* *make* *it* *stop* - and finally deleted it from my history forever so I wouldn't be tempted to read more stories (well Paige, maybe it'll get better at THIS part).

He's offensive, but it's ... how do I put this? Reading this book was like being in a crowded bar, listening to bad music and having an old, fat, balding man repeatedly grind against you, shouting obscenities in your ear. Yeah. I think that's an apt description. Uncomfortable, awkward, boring, queasy, mildly disgusting ... you feel like you need a shower afterwards.

Also, Tucker Max cannot spell or write. The top rant was only about the content. I'd go into how s***ty and HORRENDOUS his writing style is, but I'm so sick of thinking about this book and feel like throwing up right now. (Oh, there we go: the way he feel like you're on a turbulent plane/sea-sick.)


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on February 20, 2011
Hoped for something funny. Makes Dane Cook look like Louis CK. Unbelievably bad storytelling, topped with annoying self affirmations every other sentence. Think american psycho starring stuart smalley.
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on December 8, 2011
What a pompous self centered jerk. He probably wakes up in the morning and makes love to himself. The book was a joke and this guy is a joke. It must be nice to think so highly of yourself, because you know nobody cares about you. Nice lies loser.
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on April 18, 2011
I liked about 90% of Tucker's first book, the NYT best seller I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, and thought it was pretty hilarious (the sushi bar story, etc). This follow-up however was, for the most part, the 10% I didn't care for in IHTSBIH. It seemed to me like a collection of second-rate stories and a bunch of other crude material that I just didn't find that funny. Definitely felt like a weak and forced second book after riding on the coat-tails of his first. I would imagine that most people that liked IHTSBIH won't like this book as much (if at all).
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on March 9, 2014
I'd never heard of this guy until a friend of mine began to spout off some of his sayings. I asked where he heard those quotes and he guided me to Tucker Max. This guy is every girl's worst nightmare. The book is short (too short for the money), filled with obscenities, and the epitome of misogyny. If he were to speak to my wife the way he does to his dates or women he's trying to pick-up, I'd flatten the guy - I mean, literally flatten with a road grader. I HAD to listen to it because I purchased it, and was trying to find some redeeming quality. There is none. And afterwards, I was guilty of littering as it went out the car window. If you're a woman and hate men, this will give you all the reasons why. I guess bad publicity is still publicity, but if you want to hear the rantings and braggadocio of some 26+ year-old "frat brat", just go to college.
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on February 26, 2012
Tucker Max can write; and he is funny. There I said it; but now I have to apologize to my mother, my wife, my daughters and all of the wonderful women I know. Many people will find this book offensive; and I understand why, but for those either brave enough to avoid the disdain of their politically correct friends, or as insensitive as Max himself, I say go for it. It is a funny couple of hours of escapism.

Max is a great writer, not like Tolstoy or Twain, but like a great Tin Pan Alley lyricist. His stories are will edited, punchy and entertaining, but without a lot of substance.

Just because I sometimes giggle when reading of his drunken escapades, does not mean that I would endorse the activities, nor should it. I enjoy watching JackAss, too. Max comes from a long line of situational humorists like Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby and Woody Allen who amuse us with descriptions of their lives, families and actions.

Unlike those named above, however, Max's described life seems to consist of drinking to excess and sleeping with a large number of damaged women. The only thing that changes from one episode to the next is how the situation blows up; and it always blows up, usually in a hilarious fashion.

I also enjoyed his earlier book, I Hope the Serve Beer in Hell, but that one was fresh and unapologetic. In A##Holes finish first, and on his website, Max seems be looking back on his narcissistic life and asking big questions like: what if I no longer have to chase women and can get laid as often as I like, what else can I do. Let's hope analysis helps Max solve that problem and he can continue to provide us with the best medicine- laughter.

As an aside, when I first tried to post this review it was rejected. Amazon, in its censorial wisdom, decided that while it was free to sell books with A##hole in the Title, customers may not accurately describe the work of art by using its correct title. I think as Amazon customers we should be worried when the major book seller in the country does not support the First Amendment on its website.
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on November 9, 2015
This book is hilariously messed up lol but at anyway hilarious. My husband who I swear hasn't opened a book since high school (and maybe then it's sketchy) has read in 2 days all while laughing. The stories are funny and brutally honest. It's very easy to read and a book that you are so amused by you can't put it down. To put simply this entire book as well as series is Tucker Max's sexcapade stories. The whole book is about things has done and the dirty funny stories behind them.

I did pay full retail price for this product.
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