Assholes Finish First [Abridged] [Audible Audio Edition]

by Tucker Max (Author, Narrator)

Editorial Reviews

What do you do after you write a number-one best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? How does it feel to get multiple requests to "fuck for charity"? What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction? Can you X-ray a blowjob? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.

Product Details

• Audible Audio Edition
• Listening Length: 8 hours and 23 minutes
• Program Type: Audiobook
• Version: Abridged
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
• Audible.com Release Date: September 28, 2010
• Language: English
• ASIN: B0044X4Q86
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (132 customer reviews)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

176 of 220 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars SO DISAPPOINTING!!!, October 24, 2010

By 

Smith "SLI" (Missouri) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Assholes Finish First (Hardcover)

I was a huge fan of the last book, I've read it 3 or 4 times. It was hilarious. But this book was such a let down. It only had a couple good stories and the rest were the kind of boring regular stories that everyone has. Most of these stories aren't even good enough to tell a couple friends over a few beers let alone put in a book. Instead of telling hilarious stories Tucker has chosen to tell a bunch of average stories trying to stress how much tail he gets and how great he thinks he is. He really over does it trying to stress that point. And most of the stories happened before the last book even came out which leads me to believe that these are just the stories that weren't good enough for the last book. This book was almost as bad as the his movie, which if you were lucky enough to have not seen it was aweful. The movie was one long boring chick flick about friendship and understanding.

Seriously, in one story a girl starts out cool but then gets crazy and ends with her throwing an ipod at him...that's it. Or some virgins want him to be their first and he slept with another midget. There wasn't any actual stories behind these subjects, just him saying that he did this stuff. There are only two good stories in this book, the rest is just some sad and creepy older guy trying to make the younger kids think he's still cool. Tucker started a new genre then became the Carson Daily of it. He took something great and made it suck just like Carson did with music videos.

So save yourself the time and money and skip this book, just re-read the last one.

51 of 64 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Dissappointed..., February 20, 2011

By 

C. Westlake "CWest" (CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Assholes Finish First (Kindle Edition)

Hoped for something funny. Makes Dane Cook look like Louis CK. Unbelievably bad storytelling, topped with annoying self affirmations every other sentence. Think american psycho starring stuart smalley.

38 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Poor follow up to a pretty funny book., April 26, 2011

By 

Mr. Wonderful "John" (Columbus, OH) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Assholes Finish First (Hardcover)

This book was a huge dissapointment. I really enjoyed IHTSBIH, but this book pales in comparison. Tucker Max seems to have bought into his own "celebrity" and it's quite annoying. "I AM TUCKER MAX!!!"...how many times do I have to read this line in all caps?!? He shouts so much during this book because he has so little new to say. What we have here folks is a one hit wonder. Do not bother with this one unless someone gives it to you for free and even then you probably will want your money back.