Customer Reviews

At the Drop of a Veil

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This book tells the tale of Marianne Alireza, an American college student who married a Saudi citizen in 1943. In 1945, Alireza moved to Jeddah with her husband and infant daughter, and from there witnessed Arabian lifestyle firsthand for 12 years. She describes her experiences as part of the Alireza harem, composed of her mother-in-law, 2 sisters-in-law and their various children, of which Marianne herself eventually had 5. Alireza discusses how the family traveled to the mountains of Ethiopia to escape the summer heat in Jeddah, and how development changed all of their lives. She also details the events that led to the end of her marriage, and how she abducted her children from their school in Switzerland. The details of this book make it invaluable for anyone wanting to learn about living conditions for women in affluent Saudi Arabia in the 1940s and 50s. The story of Alireza's marriage and its demise should also serve as a warning to any Western woman considering marrying a Muslim. Under Islamic law, a Muslim man is usually granted sole custody of his (weaned) children following divorce and a Western woman who is divorced from a Middle Eastern Muslim man stands a very high chance of never being allowed to see her children again. From the man's point of view, his child custody rights are guaranteed by God, and he would be devastated to lose his children. It was exactly this sort of situation which put Marianne in the position where she felt she had no choice but to abduct her children and try to escape back to the States. All marriages these days face a relatively high risk of divorce, but cross-cultural marriages bring added stress and tend to have even higher divorce rates than marriages within a culture. Thus, a Western woman who decides to marry a foreign Muslim man is entering into a situation where there is a 1 in 2 chance of divorce, and if divorce does happen, she has an extremely high chance of losing her children forever. And this is true no matter how happily the marriage starts off, as it happened in Marianne's case. Interestingly, a quick 2001 Web search for Marianne's children turned up a traveler's note stating that all 5 of her children decided to return to Saudi Arabia upon reaching adulthood.

A surprisingly good book written over 25 years ago about a young women's experience in Saudi Arabia. As a college student at Berkeley, she met a prominent man from Saudi Arabia. They fell in love, and she became the first Western women to marry a Saudi citizen. A year after they married, a royal request forced them to move to Saudi Arabi. She found herself thrown into a world that she could not comprehend, filled with cultural and gender issues that are unimaginable by our American standards. Over the course of twelve years, she learns to accept and appreciate the laws and taboos of the Saudi way of life. Even though her adventure ends in a completely unexpected divorce, followed by a years-long struggle to keep her children, she retained an amazing reverance for the people that were her world.

I am a granddaughter of Marianne Alireza, and I am very proud of her accomplishments. Through reading the book, I found out things about Saudi that are no longer seen today and felt that it was her strength and perseverence which enabled her to do what she did. She was warned of some of the hardships she might encounter in giving up her western life and moving to the unknown, however she did not let that get in her way and I find this to be inspirational to not only women but anyone who may face similar circumstances of marrying into a different culture. I will admit however that it does take a certain type of person with a strong mind and good heart to be able to embrace a mentality and life that is so different to that of their own.

Fascinating reality, better than fiction. Phenomenal use of language, portraying a gentling, human touch to an alien culture, and a heart that stayed warm even after that culture played against her. The author did this beautifully, with love rather than bitterness. When I finished reading 'At the Drop of a Veil' I did two things I had never done before: reopened the book to the first page and started reading all over again (ah, wait, first I reread the scene about her oldest daughter's marriage - that was one powerful paragraph!); then I called the publisher to try and find the author. These were real people and you can't help wondering whatever happened to her, and to her children?

During my tenure working for The Arabian American Oil company (ARAMCO), now the Saudi American Oil company, I had the opportunity, along with a staff member of the Ras Tanura hospital, to hear her speak about her book and her experience in the Kingdom. She autographed my copy of her book which has since been lost. How did she get back into the Kingdom after what she wrote in her book and how was she able to speak so freely at these lecture? For several reason this was possible for only her. She was very friendly with the old King and he apparently liked her a good deal and was more than willing to allow her to travel to the kingdome several times. Each time she wanted to travel to the kingdom she contacted the king direct.

She was also speaking at a movie theater in an ARAMCO facility, and in fact I belive she spoke at three or four ARAMCO facilities,where the Kingom allowed westerners to act like westerners, for the most part etc. She would never have been able to speak at any other location in Saudi Arabia.

She told of here infatuation with this young dark and handsome suitor and, to the dismay of her family decided to marry him and move to Saudi Arabis. (I recommended this book to a young lady who had a child by a Saudi student while he was going to college in the US and was thinking about doing the same thing. Her family,after reading this book went ballistic and she decied not to go.) While in Saudi Arabia I met several American women who had decided to marry and live in Saudi Arabia, most seemed satisfied, at least on the surface. In any event, back to her book.

I recall her tale of her being introduced to his second wife and how embarrassed he was at the meeting. She spoke of her son who is a successful businessman and that he was well ajusted to that society etc. I don't recall but I think her other children were in the states and planned to stay there etc.

I can only say after working in the Kingdom for over ten years that this is a very old culture, and it's all to easy to completely misunderstand it when viewed from a westerners point of view.

When I finished this book, I just wanted to know MORE. How did it unfold after the stunning blow of the last chapter? What happened to Marianne? Her children? What turned Ali into someone who would do that to her and his children? In a 2002 interview, Marianne shares some, but not remotely enough, of her life story after she returned to The States with her children. But it's something, and worth reading. The link: [...]

A woman from "the West" describes what it is like to enter, in the 1960s, the Muslim world. She marries a Muslim and describes what it's like to try and adapt his ways in his country. Though I got the feeling that she was trying a little too hard to put a positive spin on things, it's informative and interesting.

I would love to read a sequel to this wonderful story. How did she and her children fair after the book ended? This is a fascinating true story of an American woman's life in Saudi Arabia before oil wealth arrived. The dynamics of family and life in general are personally and historically interesting. Part 'Not Without My Daughter', part travel and life documentary. Her sense of humor that persevered throughout was remarkable. Highly, highly recommended....but I want more....wish she, or her children would write a sequel!

When my husband and I journeyed to Saudi Arabia during the nineteen eighties, it was with trepidation that I made the very long trip to that mysterious foreign land, about which I knew so little. My husband had been assigned there as the American senior military man in Kingdom and I was looking forward to being able to travel with him as he journeyed about the Kingdom.
There were women (wives) scattered throughout the country, many in remote areas. Very soon after our arrival, we were off to visit the locations where our military were working daily with their military in a training capacity. I was excited at the prospect of learning about this most different of cultures and convinced myself tht I would approach each experience with an 'open' mind. It was thus I began my two years of living in Saudi Arabia. Our very first visit was to the most northern base in the Kingdom, where there were both an air force and an army contingency of people. It was here that I met a beautiful young Saudi lady, who spoke wonderful Englsh and it was she who first introduced me to the Saudi 'way of life,' including the trials of living under a veil. I do not wish to mislead anyone that Raida was a typical Saudi lady, living a typical Saudi lady's life. She and her engineer husband, who worked for the local Prince, were exceptions in many ways. Both had been educated in their own country, but had agreed with each other that they wished to live--as they named it--a more modern way of life. They were wonderful examples of a happy marriage and were very proud that they had selected each other, rather than having been a marriage selection made by a family member. (I soon learned that most marriages were pre-arranged affairs--some arrangements having been made as early as the occasion of a baby's birth.)

I still look back with great fondness on my time in Saudi Arabia and the people I met there, as well as my many and varied experiences during my travels about the Kingdom.

During this assignment, I was most fortunate to have the opportunity to know Marianne Alireza and although it has now been many years since we last met, my admiration for her has not waned. Her love and caring for her Saudi family and Saudi Arabia is genuine. She is a woman to be admired for her fortitude under some very difficult circumstances--especially when she was first placed 'under a veil' and 'dropped off' at her new home in Jedda, Saudi Arabia. I am still amazed that she survived the trials and tribulations of being a wife in a strange land and living amongst people with whom she could not orally communicate. Many would have failed, but not Marianne. She persevered--learned Arabic, and fell in love with her new family and country. In my estimation, she's quite a 'gal' and always--a lady.

At the Drop of a Veil not only tells the amazing life journey of Marianne Alireza - her adventures in Arabia are hilarious and astounding. But it also sheds light on what life was like during her years there. I met the author several years ago, and she has a sharp wit and endless sense of fun that comes through on every page and in every sentence. She was personal friends with Queen Effat, the wife of King Faisal. There are several anecdotes about their friendship and travels together.

I believe that we can only bust through stereotypes between cultures when we hear the personal life stories of people. Her story captures so much - the time, the place, and the people - it's really marvelous. Also, for anyone who home schools - she did it in the 1950's in ARABIA!

This book is one of my favorite tales about life in Saudi Arabia. The author even appeared on "What's My Line" back in the 70's. She was great and no one picked her from the lineup! The fact that she would do this reflects her sense of humor.