At My Father's Wedding: Reclaiming Our True Masculinity [Hardcover]

John Lee (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1991

This book is a ground-breaking work about the "Father Wound" and the pain men bear because of it. For most men, Dad was lost to work, routine, drugs, alcohol, wars, T.V., or the pursuit of money and all it could buy. The legacy of the missing father is a life of troubled relationships, addictive behaviors, crises, and a deep inner woundedness that leads to emotional numbness, rage, and unhappiness. In this moving, compassionate, and important book, Lee shows how to get past and over this wound as he shares his own struggle to come to terms with his father and to recover from a troubled childhood. He tells how all men can let go of the past, of false and hurtful images of men and manhood, and reclaim themselves, their sense of identity, and their self-esteem. Lee writes about the many different father types, the different wounds they leave and then points the way to self-understanding and healing.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Lee writes about the benefits of men's groups and the "camp-out and inner journey" gatherings that he leads. He reveals the wounds inflicted by emotionally and/or physically destructive fathering and prescribes healing methods that promote "true masculinity." While Sam Keen's Fire in the Belly ( LJ 2/15/91) and Robert Bly's Iron John ( LJ 11/15/90)--both best sellers--appeal to well-educated men, Lee's use of everyday language gives his study broader applications. Lee's implication that men's problems are mostly rooted in their fathers is questionable, and his overview of the men's movement is too brief. Recommended for most public libraries.
- Steven A. Fondiller, St. John's Univ. Lib., Jamaica, N.Y.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

Further exploration of the new masculinity, this time by men's workshop leader Lee. Lee's basic assumption is that sons whose fathers were not there for them--physically, emotionally, or spiritually--suffer a devastating loss. He writes with deep feeling of his own sense of loss and his long struggle to accept his father's abandonment. Lee's goal is to encourage and help other men to do the same, for he believes that only by grieving the loss of their fathers can men heal themselves and arrive at a clear understanding of their true masculinity. As a leader in the growing men's movement, Lee draws on his own experiences and those of participants in the men's gatherings and workshops he conducts. For women and for those men who have never attended a men's gathering, his revelations of what goes on at them--dancing, drumming, performing rituals, talking, listening, laughing, crying, and embracing--may be astonishing, alluring, or possibly alarming. Section titles--``The Wound,'' ``The Journey,'' ``The Healing,'' ``The Future''--suggest a structure that the book does not really have. Lee's writing resists shaping into architectural blocks; it gushes and winds like a river, forming eddies and coming back on itself from time to time. For those willing to go with the flow, the trip can be a rewarding one; those looking for specific answers may be disappointed. Includes exercises for ``letting go of Dad,'' lists of suggested books, magazines, and audiocassettes, and a directory of men's centers across the country. Will appeal primarily to men already involved in the men's movement and secondarily to women who want to understand them. -- Copyright ©1991, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 187 pages
• Publisher: Bantam; First Edition edition (October 1, 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553077309
• ISBN-13: 978-0553077308
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.3 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,077,980 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

For most of my career I've been writing self-help and psychology books (22 published), but I have also written fiction.


I have two books coming out this year: The Half-Lived Life (Dec 2011) and Emotional Intelligence For Couples (July 2011).


In addition to writing I'm also a public speaker, teacher, consultant and life coach. My areas of expertise are passivity, emotional regression, anger management, recovery, relationships, men's issues, spirituality and creativity.


I've been fortunate enough to have been featured on Oprah 3 times and have also appeared on 20/20, Dr. Oz radio program, The View, CNN, PBS, and NPR.


As a consultant and trainer I've worked with The Betty Ford Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, Hanley Center, Guy's Hospital (London, England), The New York Open Center, South Pacific Hospital (Sydney, Australia), Mountain Area Health and Education Center (North Carolina) and numerous others.


Before becoming a writer I was a professor at the University of Texas and Alabama. I live in McKinney, TX with my wife, Susan, and an ever-growing group of animals. We also have a home in Mentone, AL.


If you want more info, please visit my site at www.johnleebooks.com or visit my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/jleemain