Customer Reviews

At Home in the Muddy Water: The Zen of Living with Everyday Chaos, 1st Edition

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Reviewing a book such as this is no easy feat. Quasi-spiritual, semi-self help books are a dime a dozen, and many of them are terrible. They attempt to reduce common sense to a formula that, once applied to one's individual life circumstances, permanently alters the course of one's life.

Do you know anyone whose life has radically changed as a result of reading a self help book?

I bought this book (along with Being Zen, Ezra Bayda's previous title) because I am interested in Zen Buddhism. I bought them rather randomly, having never heard of Mr. Bayda before (these books did not, however, serve as an introduction to Buddhism for me; I have been interested in the practice for many years). I am extremely impressed, however, by Mr. Bayda's simplicity and practicality; I don't think I've read a more accessible book on Buddhist practice. I would argue, in fact, that he does it better than Pema Chodron (whom he credits as a source of inspiration). Mr. Bayda's books are the result of some fantastic writing and editing.

Mr. Bayda says that these two books are really Parts 1 and 2 of the same work, and I would agree: You should read both of them, so that the important concepts are really hammered home. After all, these books are not intended to be feel-good, airy-fairy words to make one "feel better"; this, in fact, is what I believe to be the "strength" of Buddhism---the fact that its primary goal is not to make one feel better, but rather to point us toward residing in the ordinariness and pain of every day life. Mr. Bayda's effort is directed at pointing us in the direction of an "authentic life," as opposed to the "substitute life" which so many of us are accustomed to living. Mr. Bayda offers sound, succint, and challenging advice on how we can apply the principles of Buddhism to our lives in a practical and compelling way, without ever using exclusively Buddhist terminology. A person of any faith would find this book both accessible and informative.

In the end, I cannot recommend either of his two books highly enough. While reading these two books (or any other books for that matter) have not and will not change my life, taking to heart the teachings really could.

As with my dad's first book, BEING ZEN, I could read AT HOME IN THE MUDDY WATER countless times and always find it useful. There always seems to be something or someone in life that I want to change. I see repetitive patterns in the way I relate to others and to life. I watch myself react and put up defenses and strategies of control. I think I am clear, with a good analysis of the situation, of myself, and of others. And yet, the same patterns return. The same difficulties and questions come again and again, varying only in the circumstances under which they arise, but not in the base emotions and beliefs themselves. AT HOME IN THE MUDDY WATER helps me to see and experience my difficulties on a deeper level, getting to the very base, the very core of my hurt, my fear, my anger and my pain. This book, like BEING ZEN, helps me to deal with life daily, whether it be with reacting to something as small as being cut off on the freeway to something larger, like depression, self-doubt, and difficulties with relationships. Many times, I must admit, the equanimity my dad speaks of in his books feels out of reach. But I know it is possible to achieve because I have watched him in spiritual practice for over 27 years. My dad still feels pain; he still gets hurt, angry, disappointed and filled with fear. But he relates to all of these things differently than most. His spiritual practice, as so clearly laid out in these books, allows him to experience life in all of its colors and shapes, in happiness or in grief, in peace or in total chaos. The practice is always the same: simply to BE HERE. The tools are out there, but it is up to each of us to put them to use for ourselves. AT HOME IN THE MUDDY WATER is such a tool.

This book is excellent for someone who is practicing without a teacher. I found the discussion of how to deal with a "dry spot" in your practice especially helpful. It's difficult for a solo practioner to step outside the self thing and see what's sabotaging your practice. I am thankful to Mr. Bayda for his ability to articulate so well what's going on.

At Home in the Muddy Waters, brings an everyday, practical way to approach our practice and our lives. It's insistence on clear-thinking and precision in looking at what our lives are about, help us to focus on the difference between our conditioned lives, and the free, connected lives we are all searching for.The format is readable, and down-to-earth, with everday examples that ordinary students can relate to. Thankyou, Ezra

I was truly inspired and edified by reading this book. Mr. Bayda's insights into the principles of Buddhism are gentle, accessible and practical. These books are informative and I am glad they were recommended to me by a friend. I would also say that while many Buddhism books are either too abstract or too nuanced, this book comfortably falls in the middle providing real insight. I highly recommend it.

Ezra Bayda is the Clark Kent of American Zen. On the outside, he appears to be a mild-mannered ordinary guy. But underneath that disguise is ..well, a mild-mannered ordinary guy. Thats his secret. Nothing is hidden, nothing is missing. He fully embodies his ordinary humanity, emotional warts and all. He teaches us that fully experiencing the moment just as it is  fully experiencing it emotionally, in our bodies, breath and mind is the only enlightenment there is.
This book is a continuation of the basic message found his first book, Being Zen. He illustrates his teachings with simple stories from his own life: the ups and down of being a father and a husband. He talks about sex, money and relationships  topics too often glossed over or avoided altogether in discussions of spirituality. He includes an account of working through an argument he had with his wife and how they both had to come to terms with their own expectations and the nature of their trust in one another. Since he is married to fellow Zen teacher Elizabeth Hamilton, its refreshing to learn that even Zen masters can have marital problems.
I do have two substantive qualms about this book. After elucidating a basic practice stance of staying with our emotional experience as it is, he ends the book with instructions for an exercise in forgiveness. Visualizing the person who has wronged you, he suggests reciting a particular poem of forgiveness to transform the inner hurt and anger. All very well and good, and possibly very useful  but I dont think Bayda does a good job of explaining how this kind of exercise  or the similar "loving kindness" exercises in his earlier book - are compatible with a practice of leaving everything just as it is. Sometimes, when he writes about breathing "into the heartspace" I think hes been in southern California too long. Then again, a Zen master is supposed to seamlessly blend into his world, like salsa in a Feistaware bowl.
The second qualm has to do with his discussion of trust and relationship. He says "We think we have the right to ask others to protect us from core fears, but in fact, none of us have that right." In a book that is usually psychologically astute, I think he goes awry on this issue. I was reminded of the story of the father who encourages his son to jump into his arms from a great height. The son is afraid to jump, but the father repeatedly coaxes and encourages him, promising to catch him. Finally, the boy jumps, only to have his father step aside and let him painfully fall to the ground. To the crying boy, the father says, "Ive taught you an important lesson today: dont trust anybody." Bayda, Im sure, would never deliberately hurt anyone, but I think he too readily dismisses as a neurotic or egoistic defense the need for basic trust in relationships. The child analyst D.W. Winnicott used to say that most mothers, with all their ordinary flaws and problems, still managed to be "good enough" mothers, providing a secure, loving emotional enviornment characterized by basic trust in which a child could grow and develop. We will all experience disappointment and loss in relationship  thats the truth of impermanence  but the solution is not to distrust trust itself or have no expectations of one another.This issue deserves better treatment than it gets here.
That said, while this may not be a perfect book, its "good enough." I recommend it.

MUDDY WATER REVIEW

Sometimes it seems there's an assumption that spiritual practitioners are either (1) beyond having to deal with issues like trust, relationships, money, sex, or (2) that such things will just clear up with enough meditation or enlightenment experiences. Neither has been the case for me.
AT HOME IN THE MUDDY WATER provides the missing piece. Ezra Bayda recognizes that if something is going to become clear, it has to be dealt with directly. Just like learning to ride a bike, you have to get on one; no amount of abstract meditation will teach you how to ride.
The material is practical, heartfelt and inspiring. Although there's no such thing as wasted time, I wish I'd found it 20 years ago. The specific insights and practical pointers go to the heart of what needs to be experienced, from the murkiest corners to the vastness of it all. And Bayda makes it clear that what we're searching for is always available right where we stand, right in the midst of the muddy water of life. What a relief.

Sometimes it seems there's an assumption that spiritual practitioners are either (1)beyond having to deal with trust, relationships, money,sex, etc., or (2) that such things will just clear up with enough meditation or enlightenment experiences. Neither has been the case for me.
AT HOME IN THE MUDDY WATER provides the missing piece. This approach recognizes that if something is going to become clear, it has to be experienced directly - meditation alone is not enough.
The material is practical, heartfelt and inspiring. Although there's no such thing as wasted time, I wish I'd found it 20 years ago. The specific insights and practical pointers go to the heart of what needs to be experienced, from the murkiest corners to the vastness of it all. And the author makes it clear that what we're searching for is always right where we stand. What a relief! Anna H.Manchester

After reading Being Zen, I was so impressed with Eric Bayda's practical and inspirational message I got his other books. He really gets to the crux of the human problem with stark but compassionate truth. Read this book!

At Home in the Muddy Water is a very accessible primer on how to clarify and work with the nitty-gritty difficulties that all of us face in our everyday living. The middle section of the book is particularly powerful, in which issues like relationships, trust and sexuality are addressed with both keen psychological insight and the broader perspective of a spiritual framework. The writing style is simple. It is also very heart-felt and encouraging, but without the use of the standard spiritual platitudes. Rather, there are very specific and useful suggestions on how to deal with the confusions and problems of daily life. I also loved the stories the author used; its nice to bring a sense of humor to an otherwise serious topic.