Customer Reviews

At Weddings and Wakes

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

Beautifully written and highly evocative, the story stays with you like a childhood memory. The depiction of the father through the children's eyes is marvelous. This is one of my favorite books.

More like a Monet than a photograph, McDermott's, "At Weddings and Wakes" reveals its beauty by memory impressions rather than by the harsh black lines of plot. No less lost than others who have written here in the ebb and flow of the timeline, I, however, trusted the author. And soon I was intermixing with the memories of the book my own childhood memories - and identifying, in the moment, with the joys and tragedies of this family. I dare suggest any who read this book, liking it or not, will find themselves remembering family stories of times past - memories happy and sad, with characters tragic and heroic and possibly rethinking them in the light of McDermott's graceful treatment of such moments. It was an exquiste read. That is, for those who are comfortable with impressions leading you to see clearly the beauty in life's tragedies and joys, as like a Monet painting. But if you need/seek/want the clarity of a photograph for beauty - skip this book.

At Weddings and Wakes was a very interesting look at the history of a family through the collected (not collective) memories of the children who saw the developments through their child-eyes. The details that are so clear to a child, the sounds,the tastes, the physical feel of things, the lack of conversational detail and nuance, the end results of the day, all give a clean and simple feel to this story. The way that the different children have a slightly different perspective on the same occasion or type of occasion was insightful beyond ordinary reason. The children did not automatically connect one happening in their lives to another. To them there was no trainload of fault and blame to be emptied at every unhappy ( or happy) occurance. Sometimes good things just happen, sometimes bad. They seemed to feel that life just unfolded itself for them to observe it. The simplicity of a childs acceptance of things in their life is accomplished only through the complex thought and the gentle hand of an excellent writer like Alice McDermott. The entire novel was like a walk through the park holding a child's hand, as they open their heart to you completely, trying to help you understand life as they perceive it. Alice McDermott seems to know that it is not the destination but the journey itself that make life worthwhile.

The quality of memory is brilliantly conveyed in this novel: the details, the dreaminess, the layers of knowing - knowing what you knew as a child and what you learned later and what happened after that. The book is a quantity of detail that never becomes claustrophobic. In the opening pages, we have a minute description of the mother, her three children, and their bus ride from Long Island to the city to visit relatives. Without boring the reader, McDermott renders exquisitely how excrutiatingly boring such visits can be for children, who don't understand exactly what's going on among the adults but understand perfectly the tension. Out of this wealth of detail emerges the story of a family, and though thoroughly Irish and Catholic, these are characters recognizable in any family - the beautiful, disappointed one, the one determined to be happy, the adored alcoholic, the smart, embittered one. We see the way family stories take on a life of their own and family problems are more like the air one breathes than explicitly defined events and situations that can be rationally addressed. "Aren't you glad that you only have to see your relatives at weddings and wakes?" says a teenager to her younger cousins. They all agree, but the reader knows the truth - each one of them is a unique product of their common family, as is each one of us.

Reading At Weddings and Wakes is like sharing a dream. Events are described with a crystalline clarity and tone perfect attention to detail, allowing us to be swept into the experience without knowing a lot of history of the characters.Even the names of the people appear only incidentally later in the book. The book unfolds slowly and almost cinematically as three children accompany their mother on a trip to Brooklyn to visit their grandmother and aunts. The pacing of the book is languid and deliberate. Characters appear and disappear, we hear snatches of conversations and recollections of past events. I love McDermott's language and though I am a fast reader, she forces me to slow down because each word is important. I am in absolute awe of her ability to tell a story, without resorting to conventional plot devices. I was so totally engaged with the characters and the situation, perhaps because it so closely mirrored my own experience growing up in an Irish Catholic family. Yet I believe the book transends the particulars of place as it addresses the central issues of life: joy and tragedy, our inability to let go of the past and our need to enjoy the moment. Through the eyes of the children we understand how events become experience, as they observe adults who seem mired in their histories, unable to find joy in the moment and move forward.
The love the children share with their favorite aunt,May, the only adult, apart from their father who is actively seeking happiness and finding joy, is palpable. It is so finely rendered that it brought back in a piercingly acute way, my own feelings for beloved and now departed family members. Other reader reviews makes it clear this isn't a book for everyone, but I will never forget it.

It is a shame that this novel, which has some of the most hauntingly beautiful writing I've come across, is so deadly boring. While Alice McDermott is capable of creating some wonderful scenes - some funny, some heartbreaking, many recognizable - because this novel is a string of memories there is no conflict, no real dramatic tension. I have no problem with slow-moving, contemplative novels, but there has to be some through-line; otherwise, what you end up with is oftentimes similar to this book. "At Weddings and Wakes" is like a well-written diary: fascinating, sad, funny, and tender, and when you've finished all you have are snapshots, not a novel.

In "At Weddings and Wakes," Alice McDermott brilliantly brings to life a tragically flawed Irish Catholic family from Brooklyn. Told through the eyes of the three children, each character in this deeply moving piece resonants with their own indivduality. By jumping between different time periods, McDermott entices the reader to follow without ever giving up the suspense. I could not put this book down. But as much as I wanted to see what happened, I didn't want it to end. Alice McDermott is, quite simply, a master storyteller.

If half the words in this book were left out, maybe you could find a story there you could get into. The superfluous descriptions of subway rides, door handles, stone steps and wet leaves left me groping to find anything to carry me through this book. Almost two thirds through I realized I had no idea what was going on so I left the book in a coffee shop on purpose. I never missed it. I feel bad for whoever found it.

A familiar story, the pathos of Irish Catholics in 20th century America, told with skill, grace, lament. Readers of McDermott's "Charming Billy" will feel right at home in this story as well, although this is probably the more skillfully done of the two. The author attempts several more challenging devices - the viewpoint of the children, the discontinuous timing and a repetition of the final scene for effect - most of which works. The richness of the descriptions and the characters, the familiarity of the scenes, evoking a sense of longing for what is past and irrecoverable, or what was desired and never attained (the view of the child). The writer's feel for the female characters is deeper and more evoked - but then women live in a world of beauty that men will never know. McDermott's writing talent is extraordinary - but as with "Charming Billy" her storytelling skills lag behind her literary skills. Still, thoroughly enjoyable scenes of life - family relationships, the working and middle class in early urban America moving into the wider scene of suburbia - for better or worse, marking well the landmarks as they appear and recede.

This book evokes memories of my own childhood growing up in New York City and spending time on the trains and buses that took us out to the Bronx or down to Lower Manhattan to visit family. The textures of the train cars as well as the scents and sounds round out the sense memory of those years. The displacement of time and place may be a bit disorienting but the story is not so difficult to follow and clues are strewn along the way with the "end" about half way through for those who are paying close attention. McDermott captures the zeitgeist of the time which was simpler and more innocent. I found it satisfying and worthwhile although the subject is less than uplifting.