Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do [Hardcover]

Tim Clinton (Author), Gary Sibcy (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 8, 2002

The answer to why people feel and act they ways the do lies in the profound effect of a child's bonding process with his or her parents. How successfully we form and maintain relationships throughout life is related to those early issues of "attachment." The author have cited four primary bonding styles that explain why people love, feel, and act they way they do. This book is for anyone who desires closeness, especially in the most intimate relationships: marriage, parenting, close friends, and ultimately with God.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Tim Clinton, Ed. D is president of the American Association of Christian Counselors. He is also Professor of Counseling and Pastoral Care, as well as Executive Director of Liberty University's Center for Counseling and Family Studies. Dr. Clinton's previous books include Before a Bad Goodbye: How to Turn Your Marriage Around and Competent Christian Counseling. He is also the executive directory of The Soul Care Bible. He and his family live in Forest, Virginia.

Dr. Gary Sibcy (Ph.D., clinical psychology) is a licensed professional counselor and marriage and family therapist with Piedmont Psychiatric Center in Lynchburg, Virginia. He has done extensive research on attachment theory and consults for various group homes regarding attachment-disordered children. As an adjunct professor for Liberty's University's doctoral program in professional counseling, he also teaches courses on attachment theory. Dr. Sibcy and his family live in Amherst, Virginia.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson; First Edition edition (October 8, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1591450268
• ISBN-13: 978-1591450269
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.6 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #306,478 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Tim Clinton is president of the 50,000-member American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), the largest and most diverse Christian counseling association in the world. In addition, he is a publisher, professor, and executive director. Tim and his wife Julie have been married for twenty-four years; they have two children, Megan and Zachary, and live in Forest, Virginia.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

56 of 58 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Ultimate Relationship Manuals, March 13, 2004

By 

Jason Wright (Denver) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do (Hardcover)

My fiancee and I have read a lot of books about relationships. Most of them cover the same old stuff--mostly superficial and entertaining at best. This book is unlike any other. We've really discovered both how and why we relate the way we do. This book is a journey into your heart and soul. It brings spirituality alive, showing how God is the 'ultimate attachment figure.' It's important to note that even though Christian spirituality is a central theme in this book, its coverage of attachment and its analysis of how we learn to love, stands alone. You can get a wealth of powerful information from this book even if you aren't religious. The book covers the different styles of attachment and how they affect the way you love others. These styles begin in early childhood and influence us throughout life. The authors highlight a crucial point: How we handle our feelings mirrors how we handle our reltionships. If you keep your feelings at a distance, you probably do the same with close relationships. If your feelings are chaotic, most likely, your relationships are too. The chapters on understand and healing emotional storms and on healing wounded attachment bonds have literally transformed the way I relate to those I love the most. This is a must read book for those serious about love and relationships.

26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good summarization of attachment problems, June 18, 2003

By 

Barry Brigham (Kalamazoo, Michigan United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do (Hardcover)

This book is well written. It is an excellent summarization of prior attachment work (Bowlby, etc.). In addition, this book offers some pretty practical strategies for attending to your particular attachment style. This is a useful tool for anyone (counseling professionals and not)...especially for those who are interested in enhancing their personal relationships.

24 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars childhood "ouchies" become grown-up problems, July 23, 2004

By 

Rachel Conner (Colorado Springs, CO United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do (Hardcover)

You learned about love when you were a baby. The bad news is that you probably learned some painful lessons. The good news is, there is hope for you to learn something closer to the truth.

Attachment research (summarized in this book) shows that babies' interactions with their mothers (and fathers, although more research is needed in this area) during infancy teach them that either they are worthy of love and will receive it... or they're not and they won't. This simple lesson impacts the rest of these babies' lives in a million subtle ways they probably do not even realize.

If you see self-defeating patterns (for example, self-bashing, other-bashing, caring remarks replaced by aggressive ones) in your love-seeking or someone else's love-seeking, but you have no idea why, this book may explain to you the old scripts that you're reading from. It will give you answers for the problems, too.

The second half of the book talks about how to cultivate a relationship with God that can teach you how to love and be loved without all the childhood baggage. The path for healing takes time but IS possible.

I needed to hear that message. How about you?