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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Aaaaaplllllllles? Ba-NA-nas!, February 7, 2009
This review is from: Attack Girls' Swim Team vs. the Undead (DVD)
Attack Girls Swim Team vs. the Undead (Koji Kawano, 2007)
Okay, let's start off by saying that if you're the kind of person who sees a title like Attack Girls Swim Team vs. the Undead and does not immediately think "THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER", you're probably in the wrong place. Because that's exactly what I thought when I saw the title of this movie, and, well, I'm the guy who's writing the review. If we're coming from entirely different mindsets... you know. And while the movie doesn't live up to the promise of the title, it's certainly good for a romp.
Aki (Sasa Handa) is the new girl at school. Keeps to herself, quiet, that sort of thing. One day, Sayaka (Yuria Hidaka), seeing her at the side of the pool and mistaking her for someone else, pushes her in as a prank. The two of them become fast friends after that, but this is no simple friendship drama. Because, after all, there must be an evil mastermind experimenting on the school (where else but in Japan?), administering a "vaccine" for a cold that's going around. But, yeah, vaccine? It makes zombies of everyone but Aki and the girls' swim team, who must find a cure.
No, it's not a great movie, and most of the time it's not even a good movie. But on the Joe Bob Briggs blood, breasts, and beasts scale, it gets top marks in all three categories (including one scene between Handa and Hidaka that wouldn't be out of place in an Emmanuelle flick), and it adds a continual element of just plan weird, in that style the Japanese do so well. The climax of the movie is just jaw-dropping. I mean, really, off-the-scale, [censored for Amazon consumption] nuts. And hysterically funny, if that kind of humor works for you.
So, yeah, not a good movie, but it's the kind of bad movie that transcends its badness and becomes something great. This is one you owe it to yourself to watch. ****
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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
2 ½- Stars: Nudity...Good! Sexy Japanese Girls...Good! Zombies...Good! Story...WHAT Story? Movie...BAD!!!, December 3, 2008
This review is from: Attack Girls' Swim Team vs. the Undead (DVD)
Ok, every now and then we see a movie so outrageously silly, so sleazy, full of exploitive scenes and so trashy that you wonder as to why you would waste your time watching it and how you managed to sit through the whole thing. I saw "The Girls REBEL FORCE of Competitive Swimmers" (aka. Joshikyoei hanrangun, Attack Girls' Swim Team vs. The Undead) earlier this year, and honestly, I feel so guilty that I managed to sit through the film. Well, I have a weakness for zombies and I have to prove that I am no snob. Hey, The film does feature hot Japanese girls in swimsuits and they're often seen in their birthday suits.
Aki (Sasa Handa) is a student with a troubled past. She was kept prisoner and abused by an enigmatic professor and trained to be an assassin. She had just transferred to a school at the worst possible time. There's a mysterious virus in the school and students and teachers are being rounded up to receive a vaccine to counter the virus. However, the very same vaccine supposed to protect them from infection is actually a drug that turns everyone to flesh-eating zombies. Luckily, Aki skipped on the vaccine, and the swim team is immune to the virus because of the chemicals present in the school's swimming pool--chlorine. Aki finds out that the man responsible for the injections is the same man who sexually abused and kept her prisoner.
I was expecting a film much like "Wild Zero", "Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis", and "Meatball Machine" when I put the DVD in the player. The film is pretty bad, but I have to admit I couldn't help snickering and giggling while I was watching it. The film is somewhat entertaining in a "guilty" type of way (or maybe I have bad taste?). The film really seemed like director Koji Kawano and the rest of the film crew were writing the film as they went along and drinking a lot of sake while shooting it. The fight scenes are laughable, the "special effects" are a far cry from being "special", the plot is so silly and it is so dumb that the script doesn't make sense at all.
So why the heck did I waste my time watching it??
The film does find some originality when it comes to sheer campiness. A swim team that takes on zombies sure is original. The girls aren't as hot as those in "OneChanbara" but they are quite sexy in their own way. It's a wonder that they had to change to swimsuits before they go into battle. There's an abundance of female nudity and softcore sex scenes--there's even girl-on-girl action. There is blood and gore when a teacher uses a ruler to chop off limbs and heads. There is a zombie lunch buffet. I will tell you the film's most outrageous scene: a laser beam is shot from the lead actress's crotch area!! The actresses knew what exactly they signed up for in this film--count on the Japanese to make a film that counts on pure exploitation, panty shots, sex scenes and a lot of female nudity to put audiences in the seats.
The film does not make any bit of sense and to be honest, I feel quite hypocritical if I said I didn't enjoy trashy films--but I really don't. But how come I know this film is indeed bad but never for a moment did I feel bored in its entirety? The film's sex scenes are unarrousing but I have a hard time telling the difference between erotic and dull--because the film doesn`t make any sense. The rape scene feels forced and the acting is really bad. I have to say that the low-budget blood and gore is appealing. Plus, nothing is as outrageous as a "crotch laser beam". "Attack Girls` Swim Team vs. the Undead" is DEFINITELY NOT for everyone. If any of my descriptions sound appealing to you, then go ahead and give the movie a spin--just don't say I didn't warn you. The film is a hoot!
Rent it! But recommended to fans of Japanese trashy exploitation and wacky films. [2 ½ Stars]
I own the region-3 Hong Kong release. Can someone tell me why I bought this??
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
hmmm, December 10, 2008
This review is from: Attack Girls' Swim Team vs. the Undead (DVD)
Upon arrival at her new high school, the pretty, quiet Aki is greeted by a bubbly student named Sayaka when the girl, for some unknown reason pushes her into the pool. The sudden plunge into the pool disrupts Aki's gloomy thoughts, and the two girls take a shower together to wash away the scent of chlorine and Aki notices that Sayaka has a birthmark over her right breast and a mole behind her left ear in the very positions where Aki has her own birthmark and mole. This connectivity leads to a lesbian encounter between the two girls after they are attacked by zombies...zombies?
Yes, zombies, because around the same time that Aki arrives at her new school, a sickness breaks out, which the students and teachers supposedly receive a vaccine to counter, which makes its sufferers crave blood and brains, teachers to hack off their students heads with rulers, and Engrish spewing teachers wielding chainsaws to hack up their students. However, the swim team was unaffected by the sickness because of the disinfectant in the water and now it is up to them and Aki, who has training as a water terrorist (!), to find out who spread the sickness, stop them while wearing their formfitting swimsuits, and to win the next swimming competition.
Undead pool stars the adult video star Handa Sasa whose acting talents do not extend to playing a convincing emotional role, but whose talents are more suitable to sex scenes. Clumsy, filled with poor acting, and on a budget of around 300 yen, Undead Pool does not make for quality entertainment, but in terms of camp, unintentional humor, buckets of blood and gore, and ample nudity it makes for a low quality lowbrow film that can kill little more than an hour on a rainy day.
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