Customer Reviews

Attention Deficit Disorder: Only a Mother Could Love Him

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I originally ordered this book for my teen-aged son, who suffers with ADD and all of its associated challenges, to read in order to better understand what may be going on with him. I sat down and read it first. It was an eye-opener to have a young man so close to my son's age, speak so openly and candidly about his behaviors and though processes. I saw many of my own words to my son in print and many of his actions and behaviors reflected as well. I used to think that he never thought things through and could not understand why he did the things he does. I understand now that his thought processes are completely different and I cannot relate because I do not think that way. Our schools in America are apparently no more set up for children with learning differences than those Down Under. The volcano analogy is especially apt. This book should be recommended reading for all parents and teachers dealing with the ADD learner. It provides a new perspective for those of us on the outside looking in. I still plan to let my son read this book but at a time of his choosing. I'll leave it out and let him pick it up when he decides he's ready.

It was great to read about ADD from someone who's dealing with it instead of a doctor who's treating it for a change. This kind of insight helps me in trying to work with my son instead of always trying to change him into something he just can't be.

What Ben has done should be a great motivator - he's been able to turn his school life around and become an entrepreneur at a very young age. I applaud his dedication to this goal and wish him success with this book.

Plus, it's short! Much appreciated by those of us with short attention spans.

I laughed, I cried...I felt so relieved when I read this wonderful book! Just what this mother needed.

As a mother of a 12 year old with ADHD it was a great comfort to read a book such as this. Being a parent of an ADHD child is very frustrating and drives me to tears quite often. After reading about the condition from "THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE" it opened my eyes with a brand new outlook.

For instance, to hear your child tell you "I hate you" breaks a parent's heart. (I know, I hear it often) Ben relates that he often said this to his parents too but also explains the thinking behind it as an ADHD child. He says if a child says this to their friends - they won't be his friend anymore - but they know they can say this to a parent and get away with it because no matter what they say or do to their parents, they know that their parents will still love them - unconditionally. How right he is! When I think about that this way I handle it so much better. It's like - now I understand!! It is these kind of explainations that make this book so valuable and special.

Benjamin is a smart young man, and his book is a great inspiration to all parents who just feel like they want to give up sometime. His insights and stories of his experiences have given me a better understanding into my child's ADHD mind and it has actually helped me cope better. (Not to mention it made me laugh out loud! - My child's antics don't seem so bad anymore.) His accomplishments and the way he has shown a person can handle this disease and have a normal, successful life is an inspiration to us all.

I highly recommend this book to anyone with a child with ADHD or ADD. BRAVO BENJAMIN POLIS!!

Many thanks, Mr. Polis, for your perspective of learning differences given first hand. It has helped me as the parent to understand the frustration and anger that my son has/is going through since age 5. Your book has given me hope that my son will someday be successful in the job market or college.

Many thanks, Mr. Polis for your determination to make a difference in the world of learning disabilities/differences.

I thought Ben's book was very truthful. As a mother of a 15 year old adhd child who was diagnosed at 5, I can believe every word of the book. I did not gain any help as to what specific things to do to deal with my child but it gives me hope to see how well Ben has done at this point in his life. It gives me hope that my son will succeed in life. I have read everything I can get my hands on to help me deal with my child but to this date everthing out there only helps me to understand his world. Ben,how about a book that tells a Mom what to do to help keep my child's world on this planet and in our solar system? I'm sure you could do it.

I thought that Polis really captured what it is like to have ADD from the child to adult perspective. What captured me about the book, was the fact that while I was reading it, I felt like I was reading my own son's story. I have loved my own son unconditionally through some very trying times, mostly with the school system and the athletic programs. For the first time, I felt like we were not alone. I am even thinking about starting a support group up using the book as a basis for discussion. Every educator should read this book, so they can feel what it is like to live with ADD and have a greater understanding of the ADD person. Thank you, Ben, for taking the risk to write your story.

Benjamin Polis "Only A Mother Could Love Him"
Seaview Press
ISBN 1 7 4008 169 2

B. Polis is a 19 year old Australian man, who surprised most of his teachers. Having
changed schools frequently due to impossible to tolerate behavior, Polis has encountered
quite a few teachers in his school years.
How did he surprise them? He succeeded!
From early on the ADHD blessed man gave educators the impression that he was not
going to get far in life. But he proved them wrong!

The title caught my attention, because I have a son with ADHD and that title expresses
exactly how I often feel about my son. He is very bright, witty, charming and caring. He
can, however, in an instant and very unpredictably turn into a raging volcano - a term Polis
uses, I generally refer to my son as a tornado. Then his behavior is far beyond a "normal"
preschooler's temper tantrum.
Just like Polis my son is well-liked by peers, because he is a class clown and comes up
with "cool" ideas, that everyone wants to copy. Unfortunately his "cool" ideas are
generally a teacher's nightmare...

I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 35 and have experienced firsthand many of the
situations and emotions Polis describes in his book.
When I first picked up the book, it immediately struck me as attractive to my hyper and
inattentive senses.
It is not too big as a huge volume can be a big turn-off to an ADHDer.
The paper is really bright white and the contrast and size of the font of the writing

stimulate my senses in a very positive way.
The chapters are short and simple and funny cartoon drawing allow breaks from reading.

The book had me in tears after reading only a few pages.
Tears of laughter - I saw myself and my son being described.
Tears of fear - what strugglesome future my son has ahead of him!
Tears of sorrow - about all those years I lost due to undiagnosed and non-treated ADHD.

Polis describes his school tears from the Australian school system point of view, but his
experiences, suggestions and recipes for success or failure are universal.

Whether you have ADHD yourself or know someone, who does; whether you are a parent
or an educator, who needs to know more about how to deal with an ADHD child or
whether you just plain want to know more about the dynamics of this disorder, the author
of this book has something important to say to you.

My favorite quote is from page 113 of the paperback edition "To get through to an
ADHD child throw all normal disciplinary actions out the window."
I have struggled with getting that concept through to my son's daycare for years. The
biggest issue always seemed to be "...but it is not fair to the other children..."
I am glad that I stood firm by "THIS is not fair to MY child!" as he is a much happier and
well behaved child since some adjustments have been made.

I congratulate Polis on his willpower and promising future. He is an encouragement and
expression of hope for parents, who might be on the verge of giving up hope. He is an
inspiration for children who feel as though they may as well give up, because they feel
stupid and bad.
He makes those of us, who share his chemical imbalance, laugh at the embarrassing
memories.

While I was reading the book, an incident happened that I want to share:
I was laughing hysterically and my 3 1/2 year old ADHD son asked me what was so
funny.
I told him "This guy does things that sound just like something you would do!"

"Tell me, mommy, tell me! What did he do?" my son exclaimed.
I recited the incident about 4 year old Polis, who found the valve to the main sprinkling
system in a public park crowded with picnic enjoying people.
He turned it on - much to the dismay of all the people and the embarrassment of his
grandparents, who were in charge of little Ben.
After explaining to my inquisitive son, what a valve and a sprinkler system are, he calmly
responded "Well, mommy, I am only three, so I don't know how to do that. But when I
am four, I will definitely try that!"

That's a typical ADHD child - always in the lookout for the next source of drawing
attention.
As we have a disorder of attention DEFICIT, we have to make sure that we get the
attention from somewhere else, right?

Every parent with a child with ADHD should read this book. I found it more informative then any book out there written by someone in the mental health profession. This is the real deal written by a 19 year old who has been through so much and has come out on top, wanting to help fellow sufferers of ADHD.

I wrote a review for Ben's book when it first came out with a few words that seemed harsh to Ben and I heard from him about those words....he asked me to change those words..... and after some consideration...I changed those words. Isn't that like a Mother of an ADD child.......always making excuses, covering up and babysitting them? What I said was that the book seems a little far fetched to me. I would like to know what Ben is doing now?

I saw Ben speak at a seminar and immediately bought his book. This man helps parents see inside the mind of an ADHD child. It is incredibly accurate and full of detail. THANK YOU Ben for putting your experiences onto paper and sharing them with us. You are an incredible speaker and your book is amazing. Hopefully it will help bring awareness to those that do not understand ADHD and help them see a little bit of what it is like to have it.