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The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 5)
 
 
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The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 5) [Unabridged] [Audio CD]

Lemony Snicket (Author, Narrator)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (254 customer reviews)

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Book Description

July 29, 2003 Series of Unfortunate Events (HarperCollins Audio) (Book 5)

WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS TAPE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WEEP...

Dear Listener,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.

Don't.

For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals. S.O.R.E., and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night reading my history of these three hapless youngsters into a microphone, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably listen to something else.

With all due respect,

LEMONY SNICKET


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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home--Prufrock Preparatory School--they can't help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori, or "Remember you will die." This is not a cheerful greeting, and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story. Of course, this is what we have come to expect from Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.

In The Austere Academy, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are at first optimistic--attending school is a welcome change for the book-loving trio, and the academy is allegedly safe from the dreaded Count Olaf, who is after their fortune. Hope dissipates quickly, however, when they meet Vice Principal Nero, a self-professed genius violinist who sneeringly imitates their every word. More dreadful still, he houses them in the tin Orphans Shack, crawling with toe-biting crabs and dripping with a mysterious tan fungus. A beam of light shines through the despair when the Baudelaires meet the Quagmires, two of three orphaned triplets who are no strangers to disaster and sympathize with their predicament. When Count Olaf appears on the scene disguised as Coach Genghis (covering his monobrow with a turban and his ankle tattoo with expensive running shoes), the Quagmires resolve to come to the aid of their new friends. Sadly, this proves to be a hideous mistake.

Snicket disarms us again with his playful juxtapositions--only he can compare bombs with strawberry shortcake (both are as dangerous to make as assumptions), muse on how babies adjust developmentally to the idea of curtains, or ponder why the Baudelaire orphans would not want to be stalks of celery despite their incessant bad luck as humans. We can't get enough of this splendid series of misadventures, and can only wager that swarms of young readers will be right next to us in line for the next installment. (Ages 9 and older) --Karin Snelson --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From School Library Journal

Grade 4-7-In this fifth entry in the saga of the three Baudelaire children, the siblings are sent to a boarding school where they are tormented because they are orphans. There is the usual array of stupid/evil adults including the ridiculous Vice Principal Nero, who mimics everything that Klaus and Violet say and employs baby Sunny as his secretary because she is too young to attend class. Brown-nosing brats like Carmelita Spats make the children's lives even more miserable. The ending is a cliff-hanger as the evil Count Olaf, disguised as Coach Genghis, the new gym teacher, drives off with the orphans' only friends. In these days of Harry Potter, this book is a pesky nuisance, with little plot to drive it, situations that fall short of being interesting or off-the-wall, and cardboard characters. The author strains to be eccentric and his constant interruptions in the narrative to define a word or phrase are jarring at best.
Ann Cook, Winter Park Public Library, FL
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Reading level: Ages 9 and up
  • Audio CD
  • Publisher: HarperChildren's Audio; Unabridged edition (July 29, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060566191
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060566197
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 5.8 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (254 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #431,734 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Lemony Snicket claims he was nowhere near the scene of the crime. He is the author of several other unpleasant stories, including those in the bestselling A Series of Unfortunate Events and The Lump of Coal.

 

Customer Reviews

254 Reviews
5 star:
 (170)
4 star:
 (66)
3 star:
 (11)
2 star:
 (2)
1 star:
 (5)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (254 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Best So Far In Series, July 11, 2001
By 
Brett Benner (Los Angeles, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   
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I have to admit as much as I've enjoyed these books, by the fourth I was getting a little bored. The structure would stay the same, the victims names would just change. I was so glad then to find the fifth book expanding and bringing in new characters who look like they could be around in future books. Mr Poe packs Violet, Klaus , and Sunny off to a horrible boarding school that has ridiculous rules. Of course you wait to see when the evil Count Olaf will rear his head, but the distraction in the book comes from the addition of two children the same age as Violet and Klaus who become their friends. It gives the series new places to go and breaks the normal story outlines. It's also the longest so far but for me it read the fastest. If you've liked the other books in the series you can be sure you'll like this one as well.
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A delightfully miserable continuation!, July 1, 2000
The lives of the three Baudelaire orphans - fourteen-year-old Violent, twelve-year-old Klause, and baby Sunny - continue along their miserable path in The Austere Academy, the fifth book in A Series of Unfortunate Events. Their latest home is at Prufrock Preparatory School, headed by the nasty Vice Principal Nero, who gives dreaful six-hour violin recitals nightly. Forced to live in a miserable shack, the children only encounter one bright spot - they make friends with two other orphans. But nothing good lasts long if you are the Baudelaires - Count Olaf is in disguise at the school, planning to steal their fortune. I highly reccomend this addition to the series. It is one of the most delightful - eh, miserable - so far.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Bleak, depressing, and wonderful..., August 5, 2000
By 
Mara (Champaign, IL USA) - See all my reviews
The Austere Academy, fifth in A Series of Unfortunate Events, will not disappoint fans of the books. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are stuck at a nightmarish boarding school, where they are made to live in a shack that includes territorial crabs, a strange tan fungus, and truly hideous wallpaper. Added to this are incredibly dull classes and a headmaster who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway...for six hours a night at an all-school concert. If only these were the worst of the Baudelaires' problems, they could finally consider themselves lucky. But, alas, the fiendish Count Olaf has tracked them down yet again. Once again the Baudelaires must try to discover his evil plan in time to save themselves and their fortune. Along the way there are more clues about Lemony Snicket's mysterious lady love, the charming and beautiful but unfortunately deceased Beatrice...A great read, but be warned that the ending is a cliffhanger that will leave you feeling very impatient to get your hands on the next volume!
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Inside This Book (learn more)
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First Sentence:
If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
noisy shoes, luminous circle, advanced computer system, brown lawn, running laps, hee hee hee, comprehensive exams
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Coach Genghis, Count Olaf, Vice Principal Nero, Orphans Shack, Carmelita Spats, Prufrock Prep, Room Two, Special Messenger, Memento Mori, Special Orphan Running Exercises
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