Customer Reviews

Avoiding Mr. Wrong (and What To Do If You Didn't) Ten Men Who Will Ruin Your Life

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book is an excellent way to encourage women to analyze a relationship with a man and to realize that making emotional decisions may not be the best way to proceed if she is interested in a potential Mr. Wrong. I see Avoiding Mr. Wrong like a giant yellow light screaming "caution!" as it is whipped by the wind swaying to and fro in a busy intersection. Life is hectic and far too precious to waste trying to "fix" a man who fits the description of one of these guys in the book. Women will gain valuable insight reading this and re-reading it in order to comprehend the complexity of these destructive personality types. It's too easy these days to be fooled by Mr. Wrong out of naivete'or a tendency to be gullible, especially if a woman is attractive, intelligent and has a great personality or charisma and a tendency to attract the Mr. Wrong types described in the book. For the emotionally "needy" woman this book is a MUST. Reading Avoiding Mr. Wrong will not only cause her to take two steps backward away from Mr. Charm (who may have honed in on her neediness) but it will validate every woman's feelings who is or ever has been involved with a Mr. Wrong. Any woman who digests the contents of this book will certainly be wiser in the future. For the single woman, she may also consider reading Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. For the married woman, just now realizing she is married to Mr. Wrong, she may gain valuable insight by reading Don't Let Jerks Get the Best of You by Paul Meier, M.D. which I'd rate 5 star as well. If she has married a man displaying jerklike tendencies or Mr. Wrong characteristics less than 50% of the time and he is willing to listen to her, it would be beneficial for the couple to study Boundaries in Marriage, also by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. The Boundaries series of books rate highly (4 or 5 star)too. If the husband isn't interested, I highly recommend women read Boundaries in Marriage anyway. We can all use the relational skills these books encourage and possibly even help a Mr. Right who is on the Mr. Wrong fence to fall to the right side. Even if you have already sampled him in person, at least reading this book will definitely help you feel better knowing your feelings have been validated by professionals!) MR. WRONG is not just a figment of your imagination as the authors clearly confirm with well written, detailed scenarios and common characteristics sprinkled with verses from God's Word. These valuable Bible references distinguish Avoiding Mr. Wrong from a male basher book since it is obviously written from a Christian perspective. For women who like to listen to live radio call-in talk shows focusing on building & nurturing significant relationships, the books I have recommended above were written by authors, Drs. Paul Meier, Henry Cloud and John Townsend who can be heard giving valuable advice daily on the "New Life Live!" national radio show hosted 'mainly' by Steve Arterburn and Mike Marino too. With over a century of combined experience in professional counseling the Boys really know their stuff and write COOL books with very practical advice for the woman looking for that Mr. Right! If you're stuck on Mr. Right, don't read this book because he may get the wrong idea if he sees you with it. Instead, let him know he is your Mr. Right and enjoy loving him (or someone else will).

The authors' anger throughout the discussions of the personality traits is palpable. My guess is there has been excessive experience with these personas. If you can ignore the sarcasm, then this is an excellent resource. Although this self-help book was written for women, the characteristics that create a nightmare relationship are found in both genders.

The book shows the quirks and traits of difficult individuals, and describes the "red flags" of people to avoid. Addressing "why" Mr./Ms Wrong was chosen and how to help overcome the relationship are part of the formulas within "Avoiding Mr. Wrong." Many of these traits co-exist in the same person. Additionally, there are suggestions for Mr./Ms Wrong to change.

For the writers, this information helps in creating believable characters that take over the story and create the plots.

1. Detached (D): The detached spouse finds intimacy a difficult chore. To avoid emotional involvement this person may be a workaholic who leaves home before sunrise and comes home long after it has set. Or while home stays in the "other room," and is engrossed in a PC, books, movies, sports, music, etc., anything to add distance.

2. The control freak (CF): Prince Charming or a Dominatrix is the one who manages people and events. At first, the strong support may be alluring, but to keep control this personality must rule with an iron fist. Oddly enough, this pattern's root cause is fear, and the result is to create fear in the partner.

3. Mr. or Ms Wonderful (W): When someone is too good to be true, pay attention; this person goes to extremes. No rules apply to W; Wonderful is a treat, knows it, and expects to be in the spotlight constantly. No one else has any success worth talking about for longer than it takes to return the conversation to W.

4. The cowardly lion (CL): With a great deal of honesty and courage, Stephen Arterburn states that he relates to this persona. (1) CL gives in to peer pressure, (2) takes the easy way out (although the price is steeper as time goes by), (3) stays in failing relationships rather than leave, and more. Everyone experiences cowardice, but CL lives with the terrible knowledge of being cowardly.

5. The angry man (AM): This person will become violent. Having recently met an AM, I am amazed that the eighteen red flags are so accurate. Some of the traits are (1) jealous, (2) insecure, (3) possessive of the trophy mate and (4) reattaches quickly if there is a break-up, (5) blames others, (6) views sex as the answer to any issue, (7) threatens to harm you or your loved ones, and more. The book is worth the price for this bit of information alone.

6. The mama's boy (MB): Still living at home, MB appears to be perfect because of his or her devotion and caring for Mother or Father. There is only one person that can have priority in MB's life -- his mama or her papa.

7. The deceiver (TD): Hoping for truth, yet living the lie this relationship has little chance of success. When truth is relative, or what s/he does not know will not hurt, then truth changes from day to day or hour to hour. Loyalty, fidelity, and commitment become concepts that do not exist.

8. The addict (A): The life of the party is fun to be around, but can end up costing peace of mind and every asset that has been accrued.

9. The eternal kid (EK): Peter Pan, the eccentric genius, or Gilligan all have charm that beguiles while the personality begs to be taken care of. Someone has to be the adult -- so why not you? Wendy grows up; Peter takes no responsibility.

10. The ungodly man (UM): With no concept of spirituality, desperation rules UM. While claiming to have no faith in God's existence, UM blames God for the "bad things" that happen in the world. In addition, it is imperative to UM that he is right and believers are wrong.

This is a book packed with information about, and tips on how to avoid, getting involved with a person who can ultimately ruin your life. (5 stars) However, the heavy dose of sarcasm and anger take away the "page turner" aspect. (Delete one star.)

Victoria Tarrani

I have shared this book with many, many friends and their daughters. I share it in the hopes that it will keep others from marrying a Mr. Wrong. I am recently divorced, however, I began to read this book while separated from my husband. It helped me to better understand the dynamics of my marriage and my relationship with my husband. The power of this book is beyond measure. RED FLAG: NEVER MARRY SOMEONE WHO IS IN A HURRY TO MARRY. He may be a deceiver who is afraid that you will find out who he really is, so he hurries you. GREAT ADVICE: INTRODUCE HIM TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BE OPEN TO THEIR INPUT. Mr. Wrong will try to keep away from those who will be honest with you. I now look at relationships in completely different ways, and often times find my self saying .... he is a deceiver, he is a momma's boy....etc. I will continue to read this book over time to avoid meeting a Mr. Wrong and marrying him. One critical feature of the book is identifying characteristics that are changable and those that are likely to never to change and are potentially dangerous. This is a must read.

This book, writen from a frank, but Christian perspective, lists the types on men to avoid, what they look for in a partner/victim, why the women themselves are drawn to these losers and how to work through the issues to eventually create a better relationship (except if the man is violent). The 2 end chapters also give tips on how to steer clear of "Mr. Wrong" to begin with and hope on making the existing relationship a healthier one. Mr. Arterburn's disclosure of his past mistakes, dry humor and case scenarios make this book a must-read for women who want to empower themselves, gain insight into these types of "men" and start on the path to "Mr. Right", and it will help the men who are open-minded enough to want to correct their flaws. I highly, whole-heartedly recommend this important book.

I originally bought this book for my daughter who is attending a university. As a father, I realized that the thing that's even more important than having a great career or making a lot of money is to have a godly life partner. I realized that I came from a 3 generations of Mr. Wrongs. My great grand father was Mr. Addict (alcohol), my grand father was Mr. Eternal Kid, and my father is Mr. Angry. My grandmother still talks about her father-in-law, how she had to carry him home on her back when he couldn't walk home ! I almost turned out to be a Mr. Wrong myself, but through grace of God, I've turned out to be mostly Mr. Right for my wife (at least that's what she tells me). I still have much to improve. This is a great book for guys as well as for gals. I am using this book to teach a class at my church and it's useful for healing wounds caused by all the Mr. Wrongs in our lives.

Wonderful insightful book. It seems so simple, that you would be able to spot these men a mile away and run the other way but not true for some. This book has explained in clear language with a touch of spiritual aspect but not too much. Very real and straight to the point. I suggest this book for women of all ages. A must read.

I just got the book yesterday and I finished reading it last night. This book is for every woman either single or married. If your single its helpful on letting you know what men to completely stay away from and get out of the relationship if you are dating Mr. Wrong. If your married its helpful on letting you know how to deal with the guy you are married to if you married Mr. Wrong but hopefully everyone can read this book so they don't marry Mr. Wrong and they do marry Mr. Right. If you are short on time make sure you make time to read this book as it could save your life. I loved reading the book and learning useful information on dating Mr. Right and staying away from Mr. Wrong.

Although it wasn't exactly what I expected, I highly recommend Avoiding Mr. Right. This book taught me as much about myself as about other people. Essentially, I learned that in order to avoid Mr. Wrong, I need to work on being Ms. Right. The same character traits that will set me up to connect with the right husband will also help me connect with better friends. As unpleasant as it was to open my eyes to my own character flaws, with a little work, the truth shall set me free.

Have you ever met a guy and you just don't like him and you don't know why? Have you ever dated a guy and something felt off and you couldn't put your finger on it? This book will explain.

Ladies, if you are looking for a potential husband, this is an essential read. It profiles 10 differnt types of men who are wrong for any women and tells you the kinds of things he says and does to "get" you and how he treats you. When we don't avoid these kinds of guys, the outcome is awful. You can find a great man and when you avoid the wrong ones, you are more available when he comes around.

Guys, the authors do not say that all men are bad, it just points out different kinds of dysfunctional men and how to identify them. So, guys please don't feel like you're getting picked on. In fact if you are Mr. Right, you will want women to read this so they can find you.

Next, I am going to read "Finding Mr. Right" by the same authors. I hope you will join me :0)

I have given many copies of this book to many female friends. I read this book about 10 years ago and it turned my life around. Really. I've never had a book make more impact in my thinking (besides the Bible) than this book. I had been divorced twice to total jerks who abused me and my children. What was I doing wrong to attract so many bad men? Every guy I had ever been involved with was trouble. Every single one. Until I read this book.

Despite the cover it's not a man bashing book. It's about; what is it about ME that was attracting mean selfish men? Why was I putting up with verbal, emotional and physical abuse? It was a painful discovery to evaluate myself through this book, but I am forever grateful that I did. Cheap therapy.

In the back of the book is a short list of red flags to look out for in "Mr. Wrong". I made a copy of it after having read the book, laminated it and carried it in my purse for years till my husband and I got married. Yes, I finally married a healthy, kind, fun, intelligent, wonderful man. While my life was great being single, he's been the gravy on my biscuits! We've been happily married for eight years now.

While I can't guarantee you'll find someone as wonderful as my guy, IF you take this book seriously and are truly sick and tired of being with jerks, your dating and marriage life will be far better.

Take your time going through each chapter. Some will apply more than others, but you'll learn something valuable in each chapter. The chapters that were particularly painful I read over a few times to really learn what I needed to learn.

If you have daughters who are of dating age, give this as a gift. I'm giving this most recent purchase to my hairdresser who's a total doll, but has stuck with guys who've treated her poorly. She deserves better and so do YOU!