Aletha Solter, Ph.D. is a Swiss/American developmental psychologist, parenting consultant, and director of the Aware Parenting Institute (www.awareparenting.com). She holds a Master's degree in human biology from the University of Geneva, Switzerland (where she studied with Dr. Jean Piaget), and a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara.
When Aletha's first child was born in 1977 (following a traumatic birth) she did not find any parenting books that advocated attachment-style parenting and non-punitive discipline while taking into account the impact of stress and trauma on children's development.
The first book she wrote, The Aware Baby (revised in 2001), is the one that she wished she had had as a new mother. The Aware Baby has been translated into ten languages and sold over 130,000 copies worldwide. Her other three books have also been translated into several languages.
Aletha has led workshops for parents and professionals in 14 countries, and is recognized internationally as an expert on attachment, trauma, and non-punitive discipline. She has appeared on TV in the U.S., Europe, South Africa, and Asia. She lives in Southern California, and is the mother of two grown children. She is also a proud grandmother.
For more information about Aletha's work and the Aware Parenting approach, please visit the Aware Parenting Institute website at www.awareparenting.com.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read for all parents,
By
This review is from: The Aware Baby (Paperback)
I just finished reading this book and think it is extrordinary. This book is built on the premise that babies need to cry--in parents' arms with tender, loving support--in order to release stress. When adults intervene to stop the crying (if there is no immediate cause like hunger, pain, dirty diaper, etc) they can inadvertently prevent the baby from healing from stresses and hurts. She included a story on crying it out/sleep training with her son that was really heartbreaking; her discussion of co-sleeping is powerful and very supportive. Some of her ideas are controversial; she opposes comfort nursing to stop crying, for example. However, her approach is very loving, respectful, and supportive of the baby. I've been implementing some of her suggestions and am so wonderfully surprised to see my 12-month old daughter happier and more relaxed than I have ever known her.
Her section on discipline is really illuminating. She believes that it is impossible for a baby to "misbehave." By extension, there is no reason to punish or threaten a baby for his/her actions. She also has an interesting discourse on the problem with praise. Solter promotes "democratic discipline" as opposed to authoritarian or permissive parenting. Democratic discipline involves meeting problem behaviors with a response that honors the needs of all involved. She includes several real-world examples to illustrate this method. She also encourages natural consequences wherever possible and includes an interesting discussion about why they are so much more useful than parent-created ones.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Extremely Valuable Information,
By
This review is from: The Aware Baby (Paperback)
It is vital that this information get out to the general public. So few parents really realize what traumatizes a child, and how to help. Also, few parents realize how detrimental punishment and rewards are to the development of a child. Our whole society is based upon CONTROLLING other people, and that is what is taught throughout society at every turn. How lovely and refreshing to see someone really respecting children as human beings and treating them democratically, and giving us actual tools to use to do this. I have attended Dr. Solter's workshops and she is very helpful in providing concrete examples of what to do, as is this book. What's great is, she has raised her own two children using this method of no punishment or rewards, and with allowing them to freely express their emotions as needed, and she has two bright, loving caring adult children to show for it. You're children WON'T become manipulative, they will become self-regulated and self-disciplined. I can vouch for the fact that using punishment and rewards is a trap, it doesn't work to produce the kind of child I wanted, I have freely allowed my children to make their own choices about their lives, and I am very pleased with the results. It's great when they feel valued and respected instead of controlled. The book has great scientific research about the effects of punishment and stress children's brain development. It's worth the read just to learn about all the great research that's been done which no one ever hears about.
26 of 30 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The BEST parenting book ever... I have proof!,
By A Customer
This review is from: The Aware Baby (Paperback)
(I came to www.amazon.com to buy the new edition of this book for a friend and decided I had to write a review.) If you could have only one book about babies/parenting, this would be the book you should choose! The information in this book and your use of it will be the gift of a lifetime for your child. I read the original edition of this book in March '85 before the birth of my first child. My children are now 17, 15 and 12, and they are AWESOME. I wonder sometimes that it is just my opinion because I am their mother, but we have gotten and still get sincere compliments about our children from waitresses, teachers, coaches, relatives, other parents and even other children! I had the notion that all babies are born perfect, and it is the parents' job to insure that nothing in their childrearing changes that. That notion coupled with following the advice and guidance of Aletha Solter in "The Aware Baby" are the recipe for the best children you can imagine. Most people, myself included, suffered some form of abuse as children from parents who knew no better. Many of us spend years in therapy trying to heal those wounds. "The Aware Baby" will help you raise your children so all of their "wounds" are healed as they occur. You are shown how to respect your childrens feelings and allow them to experience them fully. This way nothing gets buried inside waiting to trip them up later in life. To many people this approach to parenting will seem wonderful but difficult: you must give your child what you may never have gotten. The wonderful thing about this is that in the process you will reap your own rewards of your beautiful parenting. Actually, the best testimony for this book came from my oldest son who recently said, "Mama, when I have kids will you raise them for me? You have done such a great job with us." I told him that I was honored by his request, but I assured him of the truth that I know in my heart: he has absorbed every gift that I got from "The Aware Baby" and will be an awesome father some day.
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