Customer Reviews

Ax Em [VHS]

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(27)

 

 

My first attempt at submitting a review for this film was rejected due to "inappropriate content". I will now submit a second review, this one without as much venom.

This is the greatest film of all time. Yimou, Kurosawa, Hawks, Ford, Bunuel have nothing on The Maestro who reached up straight into Heaven and pulled down this wonderful bundle of unicorn kisses.

Boldly adding misspelled words to the opening credits he defies you to understand his unattainable cinematic genius. No lighting, horrible sound and a $3 camera he's rebelling against the big budget studios. Using a cast on non-actors who all talk at the same time he is breaking loose of the shackles of coherency.

And in the greatest moment in the greatest movie ever made in the universe! Aliens couldn't make a film this good! He leaves in the word "Cut!" Ahhh. Pure ecstasy! I feel like I'm being smothered in kittens. Strawberry kisses and hugs for everyone! I love you.

If you like pain and suffering, then I HIGHLY recommend watching this. There aren't enough words to describe to the agony. If a 3 month old baby made this film, then the explaination for the quality of this movie would be understandable. However, these were grown people. These people had a "movie budget," "plot," "script," "actors," and an "experienced crew." The overall result was a "worse than normal" student film.

On the flip side....
If you need to relax your mind, have a good laugh, or just want to build mental endurance, then watch this movie.

Too bad there isn't a "ZERO" rating on here. I'm surprised this heap of garbage ever got released. First of all i would just like to say that i love B-Movies and Low-Budget films if they are done well, or at least half way entertaining. I have seen thousands of movies in my life and this ranks as one of the absolute WORST EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND! The funny thing is that some moron who did the opening text about the murder couldn't even spell correctly, so that started me thinking "what kind of an IDIOT could let the opening text be so stupidly misspelled". Plus, it looks like it was shot on a VHS camera. The lighting is truly HORRIBLE throughout the film. Secondly, the acting is some of the most pathetic i have ever witnessed. Additionally, the plot???...a pre-schooler could have come up with a better one! I truly regret wasting my time watching this pathetic "effort". Whoever was involved in the making of this film should go back to flipping burgers. Don't just trust my words, go watch it and i'll bet you a fortune you'll agree that this movie is cow dung.

Unfortunately, it is not possible to give a video zero stars, or this piece of utter garbage would qualify.
In every imaginable way, this video is deplorable. Compared to Ax 'Em, the worst movie you have ever seen is a veritable cinematic masterpiece. Simply put, scripting, acting, plot, direction and production are not merely lacking, but totally nonexistent. Take a yard-sale Bell & Howell 8mm home movie camera and tell yo homeys to improvise a "horror" movie while the least knowledgeable participants operate the equipment, and you have Ax 'Em.
The moment the movie starts, with a prologue written by someone with no grasp of correct spelling, much less grammar and syntax (York: it's properly "to avenge", not "to revenge"), you know you've wasted your rental fee. Then the opening scene: a painfully blurry (we're talking 5th generation copy here, folks) group scene where the distorted music and background noise completely (perhaps thankfully) obliterates the dialogue. Yes, you just KNOW it isn't going to get any better.
Throughout the movie, you wonder how on earth this pathetic example of amateur filmmaking escaped the kitchen trash can and actually found a distributor! The sound quality is so poor that no trace of speech can be discerned; merely faint mumblings interspersed with laughter. Special effects are high-school level, as is the "acting".
It is impossible to imagine that those involved did not intentionally set out to make the absolutely worst, most talentless, poorest quality video ever. Can ANYTHING this lousy be unintentional?

Wish I'd read the previous reviewer before I wasted money renting this dog. I'm in 200% agreement that this has to be the worst film ever made. I've watched thousands of films in my lifetime; rented hundreds; and never before have I yanked a rental out of the player before the opening credits were complete. And I've seen some real stinkers!

If I had to guess, I'd say the plot was loosely outlined by teenagers, ad lib'ed by their best buds and shot using a single video tape recorder, using the built-in microphone on the camera. Then the whole thing was burned to a DVD to play from start to end when inserted like one would burn a CD. No DVD features at all.

The printed statements used to introduce the plot are so grammatically incorrect as to be incomprehensible. I actually laughed out loud when I saw that the killer was going to "revenge his family". Please!!

If I could give negative stars on this one, it would be minus 5.

This is easily one of the worst movies to come around on a direct to video basis in a long time. You see when you rent a movie that is direct to video, especially horror, one must anticiate a certain level of cheesiness. However there are certain movies that should not have been released, certain movies that no matter what reason there is it just should not be released. This is one of them.

Ax'em is about a mentally retarded killer out to avenge his family murder 13 years ago. For whatever reason he picks a group of teens who decide to go to a cabin. Makes little sense I know, but most times in cheesiness factor it's forgivable. However I swear to god that this was a high school theater project. It was done by a camcorder!!! The sound is horriic and half the time you can't hear what it is they are saying (which is probably a good thing). Oh and when I mean a high School theater project I mean early 90's because for a 15 minute segmant you have one guy spouting out "Your Momma So..." Jokes.

Overall this is easily one of the dumbest ideas to have been released. If you would be better off making your own movie than watching this. I mean it, DON"T WATCH THIS GARBAGE!!!

This is, ladies and gentlemen, without a doubt, bar none, the worst film in the history of film-making. You will never see a worse movie, because folks, a worse movie doesn't exist. There are no words in the english language that can describe just how bad it is. A scene-by-scene plot (I use the term "plot" very loosely here) analysis available at the following link: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1540 but I would advise you to just take my word that this movie is bad, because even just reading about this movie could induce a migrane. Now, in most instances, there is a certain amount of comedy to be found in really bad movies, but that simply isn't the case with this one. This movie is painful to watch, use it sparingly on the very worst of enemies. Somehow, by the very graces of God, I managed to sit through this film twice, but I tell you a third time would be fatal. I can't stress this point too strongly: DO NOT SEE THIS FILM. No, don't even think about it, you will only be encouraging the film-makers. Please, for the love of all things pure and holy, DO NOT SEE THIS FILM. Ok, I'll leave you with these last words of wisdom, DO NOT SEE THIS FILM!!!

Almost no editing and you cannot hear whats going on. I guess some people find the Yo Mamma jokes funny but would you really want to pay $5 to hear jokes you've heard before and weren't even that funny anyway. It looks like a highschool film project that failed. Don't waste your time, it's utter crap! WORST MOVIE EVER, it doesnt even have that "its so bad its good" quality.

This is the worst movie ever made and the transfer to DVD was about as bad they get. I was expecting to have to adjust the tracking but then remembered it was DVD. Home movies patched together to form a semblance of a 70 minute movie. I can't believe they even had credits. Fortunately, anytime I have trouble falling asleep I just pop this baby into the DVD player and I'm out like a light. Watch for the Special Features, it's Stereo. Hahahahah.

this film is a worse quality than a VHS. the plot is horrible and they could of gotten 2nd graders to play better roles.