Review
On January 21, 1995, Tariq Khamisa, a 20-year old college student at San Diego State University, was killed at point-blank range by a young 14-year old named Tony Hicks. Tariq was making his last pizza delivery of the evening. Tony, hanging with other gang members, was part of a group of young people who had lured "the pizza man" to a false address intending to rob him of two pizzas. Tariq Khamisa refused to hand over the pizzas, and was shot and killed before he could drive away from his attackers. It was a brutal, senseless crime that made national news. ...
The marvel of this story, the story of Azim's response to his only son's death, is that at the core of Azim Khamisa was a spiritual connection not just to the tragedy he was experiencing, but also to the devastation experienced by the relatives of Tony Hicks, and even young Tony himself. Instead of revenge, Azim Khamisa sought restoration. "There were victims at both ends of that gun," he told a friend shortly after the murder. He added: "The quality of the rest of my life would hinge on how I handled this tragedy."...
The most memorable parts of this book, however, are the not just Azim's words, but also the words of his family, his friends, his associates at the Foundation, and even the words of the prosecutor. Together, they highlight struggles at the core of understanding and accepting not just restorative justice, but also forgiveness, which is central in Azim's way of seeing: "The criminal needs the victim's forgiveness to heal. And in one of human nature's strange twists, full healing for the victim may require him or her to grant that forgiveness. There may be no other way to put down the destructive anger."
From Putting Down the Destructive Anger, by Russ Immarigeon for Full Circle (a publication of The Restorative Justice Institute), July 1998 -- From Putting Down the Destructive Anger, by Russ Immarigeon for Full Circle July 1998
From the Inside Flap
"Bust him, Bone!" A single shot from the 9mm handgun exploded in the night air. Tariq Khamisa, 20-year-old college student and part-time pizza deliverer, lay dead in the front seat of his car. The killer: eighth-grader Tony Hicks. So began the bardo of Azim Khamisa, Tariq's father. "Bardo" is a Tibetan Buddhist concept Azim came upon shortly after the murder. It is a gap between the end of one life state and the onset of another. The murder of his only son ended forever the life Azim had known. He was thrown into an ocean of grief, a nightmarish bardo through which he had to find his way. But his strong Islamic Ismaili faith, and his determination to make his son's death meaningful, transformed Azim's bardo into a remarkable journey. A spiritual teacher started his path by telling him that compassionate acts undertaken in the name of the departed are "spiritual currency" which speed the soul's journey. Azim searched his heart. He found no desire for vengeance there. "From the beginning, I saw victims at both ends of that gun," he said. In an extraordinary act, he reached out to the family of his son's killer. "We both carry a burden of loss. Help me carry mine. Let me help you carry yours," was the message he conveyed to Ples Felix, Tony's grandfather. He discovered in Ples a faith as strong as his own, and a similar burning desire to end the plague of youth violence. Azim established the Tariq Khamisa Foundation to do this work. Its award- winning programs in the San Diego schools use powerful real-life dramas to teach kids that they have the ability-and the responsibility- to choose nonviolent solutions to problems. Ples serves on the Foundation's Advisory Board and participates in its programs. Azim's journey also led him to discover an approach to criminal justice that he believes is a model for the future. Restorative justice seeks to restore wholeness to victims and communities when crimes are committed. Importantly, it also offers perpetrators an opportunity to redeem themselves as contributing, responsible members of society. The process is a win-win-win one, and is especially valuable in cases involving juvenile criminals. AZIM'S BARDO is a powerful and inspiring story that offers hope for the restoration of lives brutalized by acts of violence.
