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20 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Not a BAP, but a BAQ!, June 6, 2002
I pretty much read The BAP handbook in less than a day. I am not a Jack and Jill member, yet I come from a family of women and men of Black fraternities/sororities who are lawyers, educators, professors and upstanding community members. My family also supported me to attend and graduate from a well known and prestigious HBCU. I can relate to the BAP girl growing up surrounded by love and family who would do anything for you. But my family instilled in me that money and clothes can be gone in a day. A well known dentist in our town, whose daughters were Jack and Jill and very popular, was arrested for illegal acts regarding his business and other involvements. My family used that family's crisis to convey to my sister and I that everyone with money, expensive cars and big titles, doesn't live happily and may not be as honest as we would think. I hope NO WOMEN who have SHAKY SELF ESTEEM read this book! Because it conveys that material things, titles and memberships 'make the BAP' and thus, make the woman valuable. If you don't feel loved and whole on the inside no amount of MAC, clothes, men, trips to Paris or Prada is going to make you as a women feel happy, valuable or make others respect you. If anything, people will just use you and 'keep on stepping.' These authors were intellgent enough to write two or three books on and for our troubled young African American girls who are having sex irresponsibly, doing drugs, choosing the wrong friends and being neglected by their 'rich' and financially struggling parents alike. But they didn't and that's their choice. So, I feel the authors promoted materialism and superficial ideologies a bit too much. I liked Our Kind of People alot better, a book by Lawrence Otis Graham. Graham's book had more of a historical and factual perspective to the roots and lifestyle of upper middle class African Americans. The BAP handbook is best suited for girlfriends who want to get together and laugh about ridiculous stereotypes, money mishaps, materialism and college memories. Of course all of us women have some similarity to some of the BAP descriptions, but some of it is a little off the deep end. Most of the friends I have who are middle and upper middle class do not regularly shop at Tiffiany's and Prada. Those are the girls who have high, high debt and brag all day , at work about their credit cards. But most of them are stressed because they can barely pay their bills. I think the authors forgot to add that even BAP girls have college/grad. school loans that need to be paid back and some of them shack up with boyfriends to avoid paying rent, etc. I'd rather be known as a beautiful person, who has confidence, skills and talent and happens to be attractive , than a BAP. The BAP girl in this book reminds me of silly, immature female co-workers I've had who try so hard to impress one another and appear like they are rich, but they weren't raised like that and they spend their last dime at 'Bloomies', Tiffiany's or Bananna Republic only to come up short later. That's so tired. I can't speak for the BWIP (Black West Indian Princess) but African Americans, including women, are smarter about money now. Now it's more respectable to dress smart and have money in the bank and investments with a plus being having your own business. The BAP girl in this book, sounds straight out the 1950's, cause all my quote un-quote BAP girlfriends, live well AND handle their finances well! Now that's living for the best and nothing less! If you are a woman who stands for the best, you don't have to say it out loud, people know it. Prada isn't necessarily the best, neither is Chanel or other high end name brands, this is what society says is 'the best' or makes you 'rich.' But for those of us who don't have mommy and daddy paying our bills anymore, always springing for the high end, isn't smart. My friends and I call ourselves 'Queens' and the men in our lives treat us as such! So can we get a book about the empowered, smart, attractive, money-savvy, successful, educated and classy African American Queen?! The BAQ! Black American Queen! The princess is all grown up and no longer throwing tantrums and being materialistic. Save that for materialistic imaged rap videos!
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