Customer Reviews

The BAP Handbook: The Official Guide to the Black American Princess

5 star:		(25)
4 star:		(25)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

This satirical look at the lifestyles of Black American princesses or those who think they are (Bogus?) is a humorous and fun read. And should be interpreted as just that,a fun book to be read and taken with a grain of salt. Although this little book makes it clear who IS and who IS NOT, it is not a bible or even a guide to the upper class/middle class black women. Who would want to be known as being so shallow? Sure there are some truths regarding origins and status, but some of the reviewers here seem to be quite taken with identifying with these stereotypes to the point of putting down those who didn't grow up as a BAP. I guess these Bettys and Bohos look down their noses at the the Butterflies (let's not mention the Bogus), those who moved into BAPtitude through achievement and schooling. The distinction is made here between a BAP and a Buppie which is key point. Being a BAP is mainly about attitude. It was good to see a book of this type; there are certainly enough books about the negative aspects of black women in the media but I would like to see a stronger analysis with less emphasis on materialism and more on what they represent to the community (and better editing). The four women who wrote this are all accomplished women and it would be interesting to know their stories and how they became BAPS. This is a fun quick read to take on vacation this summer.

I thought that this book was an interesting, light-hearted read as I identified myself as exemplifying BAP status. As an honor roll, Seven Sisters college-bound, graduating senior, yes, I have had plenty of BAP material experiences including a debutante cotillion, attending private schools, and being fortunate enough to afford Louis Vitton and Gucci handbags. However, I hate the fact that this book emphasizes that in order to be a BAP, one must have money. Although there is a distinction between being a BAP and a BUPPY (Black Urban Professional), and the fact that education does not necessarily breed class, it is important to note that class does not necessarily breed education. I know plenty of women that have so-called "menial jobs" as cleaning ladies, restaurant workers, and child-care workers-- jobs with which the world would not be able to function-- that exemplify more class and BAPtitiude than some women that are college-educated, sorority-initiated and Fortune 500 company employed. This book was funny and I did see some aspects of myself, my mother, my sister, and my friends in it. However, I think that it is unfair to characterize educated and successful black women as being materialistic, and to put down those that are not.
Another note-- if you (the authors of this book and some of you that responded) want to be seen as being so educated and high-class, (especially if you are college graduates), then I think that you should not only learn how to spell properly, but use proper punctuation as well.

I pretty much read The BAP handbook in less than a day. I am not a Jack and Jill member, yet I come from a family of women and men of Black fraternities/sororities who are lawyers, educators, professors and upstanding community members. My family also supported me to attend and graduate from a well known and prestigious HBCU. I can relate to the BAP girl growing up surrounded by love and family who would do anything for you. But my family instilled in me that money and clothes can be gone in a day. A well known dentist in our town, whose daughters were Jack and Jill and very popular, was arrested for illegal acts regarding his business and other involvements. My family used that family's crisis to convey to my sister and I that everyone with money, expensive cars and big titles, doesn't live happily and may not be as honest as we would think.

I hope NO WOMEN who have SHAKY SELF ESTEEM read this book! Because it conveys that material things, titles and memberships 'make the BAP' and thus, make the woman valuable. If you don't feel loved and whole on the inside no amount of MAC, clothes, men, trips to Paris or Prada is going to make you as a women feel happy, valuable or make others respect you. If anything, people will just use you and 'keep on stepping.'

These authors were intellgent enough to write two or three books on and for our troubled young African American girls who are having sex irresponsibly, doing drugs, choosing the wrong friends and being neglected by their 'rich' and financially struggling parents alike. But they didn't and that's their choice. So, I feel the authors promoted materialism and superficial ideologies a bit too much.

I liked Our Kind of People alot better, a book by Lawrence Otis Graham. Graham's book had more of a historical and factual perspective to the roots and lifestyle of upper middle class African Americans.

The BAP handbook is best suited for girlfriends who want to get together and laugh about ridiculous stereotypes, money mishaps, materialism and college memories.

Of course all of us women have some similarity to some of the BAP descriptions, but some of it is a little off the deep end. Most of the friends I have who are middle and upper middle class do not regularly shop at Tiffiany's and Prada. Those are the girls who have high, high debt and brag all day , at work about their credit cards. But most of them are stressed because they can barely pay their bills.

I think the authors forgot to add that even BAP girls have college/grad. school loans that need to be paid back and some of them shack up with boyfriends to avoid paying rent, etc.

I'd rather be known as a beautiful person, who has confidence, skills and talent and happens to be attractive , than a BAP. The BAP girl in this book reminds me of silly, immature female co-workers I've had who try so hard to impress one another and appear like they are rich, but they weren't raised like that and they spend their last dime at 'Bloomies', Tiffiany's or Bananna Republic only to come up short later. That's so tired.

I can't speak for the BWIP (Black West Indian Princess) but African Americans, including women, are smarter about money now. Now it's more respectable to dress smart and have money in the bank and investments with a plus being having your own business. The BAP girl in this book, sounds straight out the 1950's, cause all my quote un-quote BAP girlfriends, live well AND handle their finances well! Now that's living for the best and nothing less! If you are a woman who stands for the best, you don't have to say it out loud, people know it.

Prada isn't necessarily the best, neither is Chanel or other high end name brands, this is what society says is 'the best' or makes you 'rich.' But for those of us who don't have mommy and daddy paying our bills anymore, always springing for the high end, isn't smart.

My friends and I call ourselves 'Queens' and the men in our lives treat us as such! So can we get a book about the empowered, smart, attractive, money-savvy, successful, educated and classy African American Queen?! The BAQ! Black American Queen! The princess is all grown up and no longer throwing tantrums and being materialistic. Save that for materialistic imaged rap videos!

I went to school with several BAPS and will never forget how amazingly cruel and insenstive these women can be. If your parents were not Doctors or Lawyers, if you did not belong to Jack and Jill or the Links cotillion you were unacceptable. Amazingly, they even picked their friends by their complexion. If you were extremely light with long straight hair then you could overcome these obstacles and be apart of the group. I know this book is meant to be funny but my school experience with these kind of women was definitely more of a tragedy than a comedy. Several of these women would not date men who did not have the proper lineage eventhough they had the drive and ambition to attend some of the best schools in the United States. I noticed that none of the authors have snagged "Mr.Right". Maybe, Mr.Right is looking for someone with a little bit more substance and character than the BAPS!

This book was meant to be LIGHTHEARTED, folks. Ease up! As a Butterfly (not a lot of money but posesses class nonethless), I found the book hilarious and refreshing. Also, for those of us concerned about the mispelled words, it looks like the newer copies have been better edited.

I think most of us know that there is more to life and character than whether or not you can afford to buy Prada on sale. And of course, parents can go overboard in wanting their children to succeed. But I see nothing wrong with wanting to surround your children with the best that life has to offer (which can be done even if you're not wealthy), and wanting them to strive for excellence. Our children are just as precious as that of whites!

Also, Bogus was not an example of ridiculing those of us who are poor (the Butterfly definition makes that clear distinction; Butterfiles grew up poor, but were inspired to achieve better things in life). She is an example of those among us who spend beyond their means and have the mistaken notion that you are defined by the labels on your back; she lacks any kind of substance otherwise. She has no career goals (not even that of a wife and mother, which IS a career!), no direction, no nothing. She lives from paycheck to paycheck trying to live large, and ends up being flat broke, busted and completely disgusted. It's a scene that's all too familiar in our communities.

I definitely agree with the book's premise that we need to be more mindful of the names we give our children. I'm not against African or other ethnic names (My first name is persian and means "Lofty"; my second middle name, 'Nekka, is African for 'her mother is beautiful), but please let it be a REAL one! I'm sick and tired of unpronounceable hybrid-pretend names that sound horrible (Shenehneh is NOT African! Get a clue!). Our children deserve names they can be proud of and that are a reflection of the godd things we want for them.

All in all, I enjoyed the book. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves more (in a healthy way).

This book is hilarious. I didn't stop laughing from cover to cover. I could relate to most of it, so I recognized that this book was not written as a "How-To" but more as just something that pokes fun in order to enjoy a good laugh. It is light-hearted and entertaining. You cannot take it too seriously or else you lose the purpose anyway. So if you are reading it to learn how to become a BAP, please stop right now! But you must admit, all of us know women who fit into each and every category! That's why this book is so great! It makes a fabulous summer/beach read.

When I first picked up this book I had no idea I would enjoy it as much as I did. While I by no means grew up in a financially priviliged household I could absolutely relate to everything else - the endless dance and piano lessons afterschool (and art lessons for my brother)church every Sunday then on to my grandfathers church, the rules spoken and understood about what was and wasn't acceptable and the famous look from my mother that can still stop you dead on!

I gave this book to my mother and she agreed after reading that she was a BAP mom raising a princess and didn't know it! Only after reading "People Like Us" did she tell me someone from the church had invited my brother and I to join "Jack and Jill" but she didn't even give it a thought because the person (an American) in question didn't meet HER standards (as a Barbadian-American)! Imagine!! (She also didn't bother to find out what the group was really about - now that she knows what she passed up on I dig her about this constantly!!!)

So you see we do the worse sterotyping among ourselves and these some of these reviews are another example. I don't know why so many people are taking offense to this book - either you can personally relate or you can't. It's just a humourous look at one segment of a multidimensional group of people. There are those of us who have lived the "Cosby" family lifestyle (even without the money) and do not embrace the ghetto fabulous images spread across popular culture today. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

So I'm no longer identifying myself with the label from others who call me "that siddidy girl from down the block" I'm a butterfly who is finally happy with knowing there is nothing wrong with holding higher standards for myself - and there are others out there! I was starting to think it was only me and my friends and something was wrong with us but we are out there and we won't be stopped!! And yes I also have a subscription to Black Enterprise and have my own investments thank you..

Now if the authors want to do a follow up with a Caribbean twist I have loads of anecdotes to add :)!

I can't believe that it took four women (only one is a writer) to write a book about San Pellegrino-drinking, Prada bag having BAPs --- that has so many typos!

Beonyce? (It's Beyonce) Holly Robinson-Peet? (It's Holly Robinson-Peete) Phillis Wheatley? (It's Phyllis Wheatley) Tamla Edwards? (It's Tamala Edwards, a journalist)

Even Halloween is spelled wrong on a calendar included in the book.

If you are going to clown ghetto folks about Ebonics and drone on and on about the Camp Atwaters and Jack and Jill's of the world -- make sure your publisher hires a decent copy editor for BAPs sake!

There are four types of BAPs according to the four authors:

Betty BAP -- a daughter of priviledge -- raised on a diet of the aforementioned Camp Atwater, Jack and Jill and other bougie trappings. If a man doesn't come with an MBA and a little blue box (you know where it's from), he can step!

Celebrity type: Think Susan Fales-Hill (if you have to ask who she is, then you are certainly NOT a BAP!)

BoHo BAP -- You guessed it, the "free-spirited" BAP. The kind of chick that wears her hair natural of course, would get married on a beach without inviting her family and a Town & Country (not Ebony, thank you) photographer and wears belly rings.

Celebrity type: Think Cree Summer (then again, don't think Cree Summer.)

Butterfly BAP -- She's the bootstrapping BAP. She's really supposed to be Betty BAP, but she was born in the wrong family. She had to learn the hard way in college (no doubt from the snotty glances of Betty BAP and her sorority sisters) that press on nails and hair gel were no-no's. But she learns quick -- after years of the "right" schools, the "right" contacts and the "right" exposure, she is ready to conquer the world!

Celebrity type: Think Vanessa L. Williams in that ridiculous purple poof gown the night she won the Miss America title. She is now firmly in Betty BAP territory, no?

Finally, you know there had to be a ghetto chick ---

Bogus BAP: She wants to rise from the 'hood, even if it means wearing Prada, Gucci, Fendi AND Chanel -- at the same time -- instead of paying her light bill and fixing that damned clogged bathroom sink. She'll lie about her credentials and pedigree to move ahead in the world. Or just be ghetto-fabulous to the max and spend all of her ball-playin' future baby daddy's money --- while she laughs at Betty BAP burning off frustration on the treadmill as she watches Dr. Phil on "Oprah", reads "The Rules" and holds out for that little blue box.

Celebrity type: Think 'Lil Kim. Or, if you want to be mean, Beyonce of Destiny's Child.

I was really looking forward to this book, but overall, it was a let down -- even for a humor book. Even overlooking the typos.

Maybe they should pack a dictionary in those Prada's.

I wish people would refrain from berating each other for their opinions of this or any other book. This is, after all, a forum for literary criticism. I bought this book last Friday with the full intention of carrying it back-shhh!-because although I am a BWIP-Black West Indian Princess-I'm kinda poor. Yes I am the product of a professional father and stay at home tea party throwing mother and yes I did the right thing and graduated from college and law school, but I dont work. I am a stay at home mom. I think the book lacks in that it failed to classify people like me-maybe I'm a hobo, as opposed to boho-People whose parents have done everything in the world only to have them running to B & N to return a 9.99 book so they can buy the screaming kids three McDonalds happy meals. (Don't tell mom)The list of taboo names was hilarious. Orangejello and Lemonjello??My brother married a girl whose first name begins with La and ends with isha. It ended in divorce. They were from different worlds. The book was amusing in parts, forced in others, but I believe rather realistic. I'm not sure about the laundry list of black female stars and others. That seems to suggest that money and fame could somehow buy one class and breeding. Do we really know if these people take away leftover food from parties?(a BWIP and I am sure BAP no-no) See I'm still a snob Mom. You trained me well. So say what the hell, go buy the book keep the receipt and turn the pages very gently. (Please dont let the BAPITS, Black American Princesses in Training spill any ketchup on it)Yeah read it laugh and take it back. You dont need any guidebook to be any princess. Be happy with yourself and to thine own self be true!! A world of BAPS and BWIPS alone would not be a nice place to live. Be Proud Girl and remember, you dont have to wear all your jewelry at one time. Peace!

This book is hilarious and it perfectly encapsualtes what it means to be a BAP in America. During my BAP upbringing, I was mocked by both black and white classmates. The black students were ten times meaner to me. Each time I walked by they chanted: white girl and they repeatedly told me how unattractive I was.

If reading this book upsets you then you obviously need to get a life. Books like this one are supposed to be fun and lighthearted. This one definitely is.

Most forms of media and entertainment portray the negative shoot 'em up/pregnant teenager/cracked out african american. Other forms show black people shucking and jiving like minstrels. It's fantastic that these women took the time to write about the modern day black woman. Whether you fit into one of the categories or not, doesn't matter. The book shows that there is more to the black woman than the stereotype of a loud, gum popping, neck rolling hoochie named Bonquita. It highlights women with class. I loved it!