Customer Reviews

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two

5 star:		(650)
4 star:		(118)
3 star:		(64)
2 star:		(72)
1 star:		(72)

 

 

I'm a full-time working mom of a 2.5 year old, incredible boy.
Initially when I read Sears my reaction was that to be a good parent I would have to quit working, spend my whole day breastfeeding and wearing my baby and never get a solid's night sleep again. (And, I've have to grind my own wheat, grow my organic vegetables and move to an unpolluted island...well, not quite, but that seemed to be the general drift.)

But, what the Sear's approach or Attachment Parenting approach to me comes down to this:

Know your baby.
Respond to your baby's cues.

Understand that your baby isn't a mini-adult who just happens to live in a diaper. Understand that your child comes with his own personality and developmental timetable. Understand that when he cries he needs you. Understand that cuddling, holding, touching your baby is good for him and is not "spoiling" him. Understand that being given a brand new soul to nurture can be exhausting, but that everything you do which demonstrates empathy will come back to you 10 fold in the bond you will have with your child.

I do wish that the AP "movement" was less associated with "crunchy granola" types of parents. AP (and the Sears as the best known proponents) is really doing what comes naturally: We are hardwired to pick up our babies and care for them when they cry. We are hardwired to feel the intense desire to protect them from discomfort. This isn't a "movement" this is how we are made, and Mother (and Father) Nature are brillant!

My wife and I have used this book as a reference over and over again and I am always amazed at the relevance of the Sears' advice. But rather than go into specifics about the book's virtues (plenty of people have done that below), I would just like to comment on some of the negative criticism that other users have given this book. First of all, let me make it clear that (obviously) everyone is entitled to their opinions; I'm not trying to say that anyone HAS to like this (or any) book. But if you are going to publicly critique it, it's only fair that you present the information accurately and comment on real shortcomings, not imagined ones.

A reader from Dallas states: "Use this book with great caution. If you want nightly habitual feedings, crying for response, and other stressful habits built into your child, use this book." That's pretty scary sounding, but let me present another scenario: My wife and I have let our child (now two years old) share the bed with us since he was born and it has been an unmitigated pleasure throughout. Except for rare occasions, he has always slept through the night, has never needed a bottle to get to bed, and has never shown any signs of being unusually "needy". Also, my wife did not have to get out of bed to breastfeed him when he was still feeding at night [Newsflash: Pretty much ALL babies feed during the night when they are very young infants - don't blame that on co-sleeping]. Now that my wife is pregnant again, we have transitioned him into his own room with absolutely no fuss. In contrast, my sister has never let her baby sleep in bed with her and the baby used to get up twice a night for a year and a half. The point is this: there is no right or wrong way, and there are no guarantees; babies are all very different, they're not little robots. We let our baby sleep with us because we LOVED it, and we will do it with our next one. The Sears state very clearly that you should do what you are comfortable with and that there is no right or wrong way. They just ask people to be OPEN to the idea of co-sleeping and to question those who so confidently state that it is wrong.

[By the way, those who condemn it have zero scientific evidence to support their claim. Think about it: Modern day humans have been around for 2.5 million years. For 99% of that time we have been foragers and hunter-gatherers. Do you think we would have survived if sleeping with your children was "wrong"? Foraging and hunting tribes don't carry around cribs with them.]

Anyway, my point is that the Sears definitely do NOT say that there is only one way to put your kid to sleep.

A reader from New York asks: "Will co-sleeping wane in popularity as parents tire of sleeping with twin 5 years olds and an 8 year old and word gets around on the difficulty of ever getting the children out of your bed?"

That's a good question. I have a few questions of my own. Have you ever tried it? Do you know for a fact that it is difficult to get kids out of bed and into their own beds? Do you think that the Sears really suggest that all of your kids should sleep in the parents' bed, regardless of age? Did you see the part in the book where they say that you should do what you are comfortable with and what makes the most sense to you?

The bottom line is that the authors clearly and refreshingly state that mothers and fathers know a lot more about raising their children than they are given credit for. Rather than telling prospective parents that YOU MUST sleep with your baby or YOU MUST breastfeed, the overall effect of their book is to say YOU CAN sleep with your baby regardless of what society tells you and YOU CAN breastfeed if you want to maximize your baby's health and the bond between mother and child. Of course, no one HAS to do anything, but it's nice to have alternative sources of information.

Thanks for listening.

To read a book that reinforces my instincts! I am only sorry I did not buy this book in the first few weeks of motherhood. I read books that gave all kinds of advice that just didn't seem right. I have never let my baby "cry it out" even though parents, in-laws, and grandparents have all at some point told me I'm spoiling my child. At five months old, she is happy, well adjusted, and easily falls asleep on her own. Mothers and fathers take note-attachment parenting works!! I can actually sense how much trust my baby has in me. This book will be especially helpful to parents of colicky babies. It replaces the feelings of frustration and helplessness with compassion and understanding. I read a few negative reviews from those who found the Dr. Sears to be extreme. Attachment parenting can be incorporated into every lifestyle. I'm a stay at home Mom, but I don't ALWAYS wear my baby in a sling. And though I slept with her for the first few months, she now sleeps in her crib, and takes a morning nap with me. It's just a matter of knowing your baby and following his/her cues rather than following some ridiculous formula that is supposed to work for all babies. Yes, the book almost always puts the baby first. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Every aspect of parenting should be cherished rather than looked upon as an inconvenience. For those who truly want to bond with their babies-this is the book for you! And just a note to new, first time moms: I spent many nights in the first few weeks crying right along with my colicky baby. So many well-meaning moms gave me advice. Because I was new at the whole thing, I always doubted myself. Was I ever going to have a happy baby? Was she ever going to sleep through the night? What was I doing wrong? Well, any mom who has practiced attachment parenting for a few months will tell you this. After a few weeks, when friends and family tell you you're holding the baby too much, you're spoiling the baby too much, you should let the baby "cry it out" instead of feeling unsure, you will laugh to yourself. Because you'll know inside. You'll know that the parents who are not wearing their babies, not holding their babies, not soothing their babies, not cuddling through the night with their babies, are really missing out on moments they'll never have again. That's when you'll know how wonderful attachment parenting is.

I started my pregnancy with the Dr. Sears pregnancy book and also read the breastfeeding book and I loved his natural, gentle approach to everything so I registered for The Baby Book. I devoured this book and loved everything I read. I felt so confident going into parenthood! Then I had my baby and I was shocked to find I was completely unprepared in some ways. I followed some dangerous advice about not supplementing her with formula while my milk was coming in and she ended up in the hospital dehydrated and with dangerously low blood sugar. The day we left the hospital I bought the American Academy of Pediatrics book "Caring for Your Baby and Young Child," and this is my new bible for illnesses in my baby. It is much more thorough, and I feel comfortable knowing this is what is reccomended by a community of professionals instead of one Dr with one philosophy. Another example, we tried the family bed until she was five months and we never let her cry for a second. At four months old she was fussy, clingy, and was sleeping less that ten hours a day. I finally broke down and bought "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." After some gentler approaches and limited crying it out she will only sleep through the night (12 hours) in her own bed because our moving wakes her, and she gets about 13-15 hours of sleep a day. She is happy every morning and much more playful and engaging, and our bond is even stronger. My point is that you really need to find your own approach to problem solving the ups and downs of parenthood, and this book will only present you with one method. I still practice attachment parenting, but I also respect my child's needs to sleep and to play on her own. I love Dr. Sears and Martha's loving approach to parenthood, but I have developed my own loving approach now thanks to the input I have gained from other professionals in the field.

This is my main reference for childcare and certainly heads and shoulders above useless crap like the What To Expect series. I rejected more from those books than I learned.

I think Dr. Sears' main point is that when parents listen to their instincts and treat their children lovingly you probably won't go wrong. Not all AP parents co-sleep or even breastfeed -- but all APers do their best to honor their children and work with them, not against them. As for medical differences -- including vaccinations -- you need many sources to make intelligent choices and he's simply following APA recommendations. I think dredging up the tired vaccination debate in this book would have made it too radical to make a difference in mainstream America.

I found his breastfeeding advice helpful and encouraging. As a formula-supplementer and working mom I don't feel offended by his pro-bf and SAHM statements. We all make our choices and there is no way one doctor can automatically see everyone's individual situations and soothe their consciences. It's our job as adults and parents to take the good advice and toss the rest with poise -- humans adapt.*duh*

For the record, I'm a working mom who breastfeeds, co-sleeps, doesn't let her babies cry it out and wears them in slings. Yes, I can be tired sometimes, but that is probably more of a function of new parenthood, not my parenting method. Besides, I'm in it for the long-haul -- I didn't become a parent just to cop out! PS -- the co-sleeping give you *more* sleep than cribbing, take it from someone who has done it both ways..

Also for the record -- there is less bottlefeeding information because there is less to say! Breastfeeding can be tricky business, which is probably why many moms end up bottlefeeding in the first place.

Working moms, bottlefeeders and cribbers can still get alot out of this book *if* they are comfortable with their choices and don't already feel guilty. I work, my daycare uses formula and I have put my kids in a crib and I still find this book very useful.

The message of compassionate parenting and servicable medical advice makes this a good choice for parents. Nothing is perfect -- if you want a parenting book to suit your exact opinion, write one yourself!

I read through the other reviews. I am a full time working mom. I went back to work at 9 weeks. Because my child was MOSTLY bottle fed during her 3 week stay in the hospital after birth (She had meconium aspiration induced pneumonia), she ended up with nipple confusion. So i'd say she gets 50% breast milk and 50% formula. Yet, despite the fact that i'm a working mom who doesn't exclusively breastfeed, I did NOT find this book to be annoying or lacking in compassion. Sears paints one version of an ideal parenting style. I don't believe anyone has all the answers. We have to go by instinct, experience, and of course, solid sound advice. I follow attachment parenting as best I can under my particular circumstances, because my MOTHER did so. They didn't call it that in 1965, nor did they really advocate it - but she did it, and she continues to do it as my child's care provider during my work-day. I found Dr. sears's ideas to be a cold refreshing drink of water. He encouraged me to follow my instincts as a parent. So much of the literature that i've read has made me feel badly about things that instinctively seem *right* (co-sleeping, picking up baby whenever she cries, spending lots of time holding baby) and whenever I get into that funk, I pick up his book and I feel great. I think my sister brother and I are excellent products of attachment parenting. I hope my daughter feels that way about herself when she grows up!

FWIW - I am a full time working mom who partially breastfeeds, and who is an atheist. Yet I am able to read through this book and find common ground without finding Sears to be judgemental or lacking in compassion.

I'm kind of surprised at some of the negative reviews of this book. Peole keep saying that co-sleeping and attachment parenting encourage undisciplined children, but if you read the follow-up book, "The Discipline Book," you'll see that's not necessarily the case. If a child knows she can trust you (through early experiences), she will be much less likely to have discipline problems later. Anyway, I got "The Discipline Book" before "The Baby Book" and was pleasantly surprised that it encourages setting limits APPROPRIATE TO THE CHILD and sees discipline as a continuum and not a one-time, spanking kind of thing. Their method of childrearing just seems totally natural to me, the kind of things mothers and fathers did for thousands of years before the medical establishment and society started butting in on childrearing. I think the book is a must for any new parent!

I think that this book is hands down the best medical source for parents of all the baby books I've gone through, and I've gone through plenty. However, I think that Dr. Sears greatly undersimplifies children's behavior, which I found very irritating. It just seems like the answer to EVERY behavioral problem is AP! And that just isn't the case. Children are more complex than that, and you don't even have to be a doctor to know that. For example, he talks about how much better babies sleep in "the family bed." My baby never ever wanted to be anywhere but his own crib, and to this day will ONLY sleep there.

Another thing that bothers me, and I know some here disagree, but Sears takes the hard-line on nursing, childbirth, attachment parenting and nutrition, but I feel that he wimps out when it comes to forming an opinion on daycare vs. at-home mothers. If you're going to express your opinion on everything else, why not this? (By the way, many mothers who stay at home do it because they believe it's the right thing for their child, and end up scrimping and saving, and NOT because they have loads of cash from their husbands' income!)

This is the bottom line: my advice is actually to buy this book. For me, the medical information was and is invaluable. Unlike a lot of these other reviewers, however, I never felt like a "bad parent" for not doing everything Dr. Sears recommended. I feel extremely secure in my abilities and instincts as a mother, so I really didn't care if I got the feeling that Sears would think I was doing my child a disservice just because he always slept in his own crib. If you can ignore this kind of thing too, I think you will find this book to be a great resource in other ways. One thing he says in this book is absoultely true, even applied to his own advice: if it doesn't feel right, DON'T DO IT! Remember that when you read this book, and don't be intimidated by the AP style if it's not for you.

There is not much that one can say that hasn't already been said. This book has stood the test of time; other know-it-all one-size-fits-all infant care books have not.

One observation that I have made is that you will not find this book promoted by popular baby stores such as "Babies R Us". Having visited many branches of such stores, I have never seen this book promoted in the book section. It dawned on me why. Dr. Sears' approach is decisively anti-consumerist. He strongly recommends breast feeding - nothing to buy here. He strongly recommends co-sleeping - no crib or sheets to buy. He recommends the use of a baby sling or baby carrier - OK, you can find such items at "Babies R Us", but this is meant as a replacement for a much more expensive stroller.

Bottom line: following the recommendations in this book means going against the grain set by product-dispensing corporations that are the center of a society centered around consumption. Read this book and think long and hard about what you believe and what you value in the role of a parent, and tune out all the noise around you including well-meaning family members.

As a 4th-time-around mom, my only regret about buying this book in 1993 was not buying hardcover--our copy is completely dog-eared and falling apart from use! Back then, as first-time parents, my husband and I happened upon the Sears' book and were so relieved to find a parenting guide which combined medical expertise with extensive personal experience and, on top of that, actually reinforced the use of our instincts as parents. It's extremely comprehensive and well-organized. We love the presentation of "the facts" balanced with the narrative/personal examples which Mrs. Sears has contributed. We are often complimented on how out-going, well-adjusted and secure our children appear to be. Time and again, we find ourselves giving a great deal of credit to "The Baby Book" for guiding our parenting choices. Reading the reviews on this book here, I found the majority of readers couldn't say enough wonderful things about it...so many "5 stars"!!! Then there were a few "1 stars." These people seemed very concerned with the supposed "guilt trip" Dr. and Mrs. Sears were unloading on them. I guess I just didn't see it...my husband and I have coined the term "convenience parenting" for those wishing to parent "the easy way" (ie. sleeping through the night at two months after birth, the "cry it out" philosophy and the very notion that a baby can actually be spoiled by too much attention!) Any way you look at it, parenting is NOT an easy venture, but at the same time is so incredibly important...maybe a little bit of well-placed guilt isn't such a bad thing. Granted, everyone's parenting situation is different. Because of this, there will never be a perfect parenting book...glean what you can from this one. So you can't do 24/7 "baby wearing" because you both work--have your child-care provider read that chapter!!...etc., etc. Take what the book says with a grain of salt and tailor it to your needs. At any rate, both my husband and I have gained a great deal from "The Baby Book." As a physician, he readily recommends it to his new-parent patients. And I buy it for every baby shower I attend. I would truly like to thank the Sears for all they have given us through this book...how wonderful it must be to have him as a pediatrician! Give this book a try...I doubt you will be sorry!