The Baby Jesus Butt Plug [Paperback]

Carlton Mellick III (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 23, 2004

Step into a dark and absurd world where human beings are slaves to corporations, people are photocopied instead of born, and the baby jesus is a very popular anal probe.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"Trashy and dark."
--3:AM MAGAZINE

"What's most bizarre is that none of this seems to be there for pure shock value....Presented in such a matter of fact manner that it is as if the last thing the author wants is for you to be shocked..."
--WRATH JAMES WHITE on Razor Wire Pubic Hair

"This strange, bleak, and utterly weird tale has everything you would expect from the master...psuedo-horror, sci-fi, twisted religion, and dark satire."
--KEVIN WOODS, director of Wiseguys vs. Zombies

"Reading Carlton Mellick III's BABY JESUS BUTT PLUG is like hopping into an LSD-filled time machine with David Cronenberg, William Burroughs, J.G. Ballard, Philip K. Dick, and George Romero at the controls. This tale of office drones and disposable clones is a splatterpunk odyssey, a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family. Touching, poignant, horrorific, nightmarish, and beautiful all at the same time, BABY JESUS BUTT PLUG is the work of an uncompromising visionary who lances the boil of his seething imagination with the tip of his pen..."
--TRENT HAAGA, star of Terror Firmer, Troma's Edge TV, and co-writer of Citizen Toxie

"Through childlike narration Mr. Mellick can present to his reader some of the most curious and knee-slapingly hysterical blaspheme."
--IAN DAVID MCGOWEN

"There is depth behind his simplistic prose, and humor all around it. What at first seems unsophisticated quickly becomes a firm identity to the characters, and you realize the intelligence behind the naivety."
--SCHTINKY REVIEWS

From the Back Cover

Praise for Carlton Mellick III

"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America."
- GOTHIC MAGAZINE

"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel

"If you haven't read Mellick you're not nearly perverse enough for the twenty first century."
- JACK KETCHUM, author of The Woman and The Girl Next Door

"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
- CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother

"Bizarre, twisted, and emotionally raw--Carlton Mellick's fiction is the literary equivalent of putting your brain in a blender."
- BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea

"Carlton Mellick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist."
- THE GUARDIAN

"Just as Pop had Andy Warhol and Dada Tristan Tzara, the Bizarro movement has its very own P. T. Barnum-type practitioner. He's the mutton-chopped author of such books as Electric Jesus Corpse and The Menstruating Mall, the illustrator, editor, and instructor of all things Bizarro, and his name is Carlton Mellick III."
- DETAILS MAGAZINE

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 104 pages
• Publisher: Eraserhead Press (February 23, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0972959823
• ISBN-13: 978-0972959827
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #206,749 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

CARLTON MELLICK III is one of the leading authors in the bizarro fiction movement. His influences range from offbeat children's book authors such as Dr. Suess and Roald Dahl to Japanese cult directors such as Takashi Miike and Shinya Tsukamoto to trashy B-movies such as those from Troma and John Waters.

He lives in Portland, OR, where the breweries, bookstores, and strip clubs are the best in the country.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars as good as it sounds, August 21, 2005

By 

R. Duffy "literature junkie" (Columbus, OH) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Baby Jesus Butt Plug (Paperback)

This relatively short and oh so sweet story by Carlton Mellick is much more than just shock-rock in literary form, as many people may think from the title alone. It is set up almost as a children's story, with large print and lots of interesting illustrations. It's a story about the future of society and the structure and interaction of family, full of heaping helpings of taboo smashing sex, violence, and humor. Between litters of John Lennon clones, zombies, and childish CEO's that happen to be hundreds of years old, there's something for everyone. It's an easy read, but in the very best way. The fairly simple illustrations complement the story nicely, and you'll find that after you've finished the story the first time you'll have an urge to begin it again almost immediately. So pick this up, it's more than worth the price, and I promise you will be very pleased.

22 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Vertigo Conducive, October 12, 2004

By 

POOKY D (My Own Cerebellum) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Baby Jesus Butt Plug (Paperback)

You know that feeling you get when you walk to the edge of a skyscraper window 100 stories up and put your forehead against the glass (and just for a second you feel like the glass might give and you'll go toppling head over heels to the pavement) and your belly starts to swirl and rise towards your throat and you get light headed?

That's the feeling of this book, from page one. There's some nasty business, some big laughs, and an overall sensation of things being wrong in the best way. But what you might not expect (amidst the melting clones, abstract sex, and zombie carnage) is the strange poignancy of the final pages that make this more than a surreal jerk-around.

This is a headsquisher of a book.

21 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Its 4:31AM. Do you know where your clone is?, March 8, 2006

By 

Book Knurd "You'll Poke Your Eye Out!" (Paradise) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Baby Jesus Butt Plug (Paperback)

If the demented 13-year-old offspring of the unholy union between David Lynch and William S. Burroughs were given pen and paper and told to write a trippy story splattered (and I don't choose that word lightly) with blood, gore, zombies and sex, Baby Jesus Butt Plug is what you'd get.

Unfortunately the outcome will still suffer from the story telling of a hormone laden 13-year-old boy. To illustrate, imagine a depraved pre-pube making up a wild sex-fi story on the fly, while his wide-eyed buddies eat up his every absurd word. It's stream-of-consciousness story telling with all manner of shock and awe thrown in for effect.

On the other hand, the beginning and end of the story contain flashes of satirical brilliance, biting humor and quirky sci-fi-esque fun to offset the crude writing and story line. One passage that I found particularly clever and amusing is when the narrator talks of getting a free Baby Jesus Butt Plug from a couple who just want to make sure the BJBP goes to a good home. He says, "And when they said `a good home' all they really meant was they didn't want to give them to anyone who would stick them in their butts".

I wish Mellick had pursued the socio-religious angle of owning a BJBP that began to take form in the first third of the book. Or he could have explored the conundrum of losing oneself physically and mentally in a sea of one's own clones. Either way would have made for a much more powerful and coherent statement. As it stands, the story begins to provoke and stimulate but quickly deteriorates into a menage-a-bizarre story of teen male angst, desire and fear.

I've read other Mellick works and know that in a lengthier format he can make you blush, throw-up and ponder in the matter of one short paragraph. So I am comfortable in saying that this is not his best. However, if you want a unique insight into the stuff of which adolescent boys wet dreams are made, then Baby Jesus Butt Plug will take you there.