And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives (Hardcover)

~ John M. Gottman (Author), (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by:

• maintaining intimacy and romance
• replacing a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation
• preventing post-partum depression
• creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental
health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby

Complete with exercises that separate the “master” from the “disaster” couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy.

About the Author

JOHN M. GOTTMAN, Ph.D., and JULIE SCHWARTZ GOTTMAN, Ph.D., are the founders and directors
of the Gottman Institute and the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle. The bestselling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, The Relationship Cure, and other books, John Gottman is an emeritus professor of psychology, an elected fellow of the American Psychological Association, and the recipient of numerous awards and commendations. His research and findings have been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Time, the bestselling book Blink, and the broadcast media. Julie Schwartz Gottman serves as the clinical director of the Gottman Institute and created the Gottman Institute’s relationship clinic. She coauthored the book Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, with John Gottman and Joan DeClaire. A clinical psychologist, she is in private practice in Seattle, where the couple lives.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Crown; 1 edition (January 9, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1400097371
• ISBN-13: 978-1400097371
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 5.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #174,237 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This will SAVE your marriage! A Must READ!!!!, May 25, 2007

By	E. Petrucelli - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I am a certified labor doula and I bought this book so I could help my doula clients. I didn't realize how helpful it would be to me as well. I wanted to be able to provide my clients with some good information about how things might be after their baby is born. IT's not an easy transition in many ways. Although delightful, the roller coaster of emotions both parents go through can be rough and lead to divorce. I can't tell you how many times I have gone to a postpartum visit only to see my clients sitting separately. The dad not responding to mom's requests and mom not talking to dad but talking AT him. I know them because we met prenatally and seeing the transition is astounding. The once happy couple, who would do anything for each other while pregnant, is now sad. Dad is no longer focused on mom and wanting to make her happy. Mom isn't really doing much to make dad happy. They are two people living in the same home but they are slowly losing each other. Sleep deprivation and an overwhelming sense of responsibility on both parents is splitting them apart. What's worse is, we don't think about how this will affect the baby.

When couples think about how life will change when baby comes, they often think about how it will affect them. They don't think about how these changes will affect their baby; especially in the long run. This book describes those changes and offers suggestions and support on how to get through them. Dad's typically withdraw and I thought it was very normal. It is, however, if dad withdraws from baby and for significant periods, this will have a profound effect on the baby at the present time and in the long run. We must also think about the baby not just us.

I heard an MD speak about Bringing Baby Home last year. My son was almost 3 at the time. I was shocked when I learned about this transition and the stages that we go through. The biggest reason...we went through each transition! It was like I was reliving what happened. Learning that what we experienced was normal, that everyone goes through it but not everyone survives it. I was able to rejoice in the fact that we were in the last stage and we were going to survive.

It is a rough road this "Transition to Parenthood." Don't let people think you need to be happy when all you are feeling is frustration and resentment. BUY THIS BOOK! Read it in pregnancy and read it again after the baby is born. Go to the classes if you have a local educator. IF you want to survive your marriage or relationship after Bringing Baby Home, YOU NEED THIS BOOK!

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Straightforward, realistic, and useful advice - a good read!, March 8, 2007

By	SeattleMomma (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews

This book will definitely help couples keep their marriages on track post-baby if both spouses read it, and I'd recommend reading it BEFORE baby arrives and talking about it together. That way, when you're sleep deprived and your life is upside down due to having a new baby in your life and family, you might remember some of the good advice about how to communicate with each other and take care of each other. I really liked the many examples from couples studied, and the research-based nature of the recommendations. You probably won't be surprised at the "no-duh" nature of much of this book, since caring for your spouse and marriage really boils down to communicating well with each other, thinking about the other person, and treating them with respect and love. Kindness begets kindness! Nonetheless, it's helpful to read the data supporting the recommendations and to have these messages reinforced for you and your spouse. Good luck!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Revisited, June 10, 2009

By	Sara Fragoso (Atlanta, GA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives (Paperback)

I LOVED the book Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Unfortunately, this book is simply a remake of that one. Many of the stories are identical, and not much of the information is new. There are a couple chapters related specifically to having a baby, but you could read them quickly at the library without purchasing the book. If you haven't read the other book, this book would be great -- just don't buy both!!