Customer Reviews

Back from Betrayal: Recovering from His Affairs

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book is about addiction, coaddiction, enabling, and recovery through A.A. principles.

It is a great work even if addiction is not at the core of your problems with dishonesty and adultery.

The author herself is married to a recovered sex addict. She writes from personal experience but also has numerous examples given by others collected from her profession as a doctor. It is geared mostly toward women (for a reason). The honesty in this book is heart rending.

She supports recovery and saving a marriage, but not at the expense of sanity.

She states that even when there is no addiction, affairs are harmful. She clearly shows the underbelly of adultery and many of the sorry root causes.

An eye opener, when you realize why you choose what you do. If it's not a pretty picture, this book can guide you out of the mud.

This book has been so inspirational to me. I am having a terrible time right now and this book shows me there is hope for ME - if not for my marriage. In a time like this, hope is all I have and she gives concrete evidence that you can feel better as well as great suggestions to take to get there.

The title of this book, "Back From Betrayal: A Ground Breaking Guide to Recovery For Women Involved With Sex-Addicted Men", may fool you into believing this book is focused solely on recovery for the co-sex addict.

It's not.

I waded through a lot of explanations about what sex addiction is and isn't, and what sex addicted men (or women, although the majority of sex addicts are men) think and feel, as well as what leads them to addiction. While this information IS helpful to the co-addict, it was given almost equal time as was the topic of the co-addict and her recovery process.

I think this book would have been MORE helpful if it had given more time to the issue of codependency, and women involved in relationships with sex addicts.

With that aside, the book is well-written and thorough. You might want to skim the chapters about sex addicts and society and get to the real meat of the issue: co-sex addiction and, especially, recovery.

I have read many books on sexual addiction and this is the first one that I felt that really had the answers that I've been looking for. I am the spouse of a sex addict and this book has helped me more than words can ever say. Since I have read this book I have joined COSA and everyone that I have come into contact with, that has had similar problems - I always recommend this book.

While I never have met the author, I had the impression that she didn't seem to like anyone who was a victim in union with an unfaithful mate. Victims have enough unfair self-blame to deal with, without more unfair damaging blame administered under the disguise of "help."

Jennifer Schneider, MD
Back from Betrayal: Recovering from His Affairs

(San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1988) 243 pages

Based on interviews with 'betrayed' wives,
this book explains the behavior of the husbands as 'sex addiction'.
It might be helpful to readers attracted to addiction-model thinking.

More positive experiences are found in some other books in the
"Multiple Loving Bibliography",
which will be found by searching for those exact words on the Internet.

James Leonard Park, author of
New Ways of Loving: How Authenticity Transforms Relationships.