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Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life
 
 
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Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life [Hardcover]

Suzy Farbman (Author), Burton Farbman (Author), Marianne Williamson (Foreword)
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)

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Book Description

April 14, 2004
Back from Betrayal is a beautifully written and brutally honest account of marital infidelity and the long journey back to reconciliation.

Suzy Farbman was living the American dream: great kids, a marriage that had lasted nearly three decades, a successful career, and a comfortable lifestyle. But when she discovered her husband was having an affair, her dream turned to nightmare, her secure world crumbled.

She was not alone. Experts tell us that in this country at least one of every three couples is touched by infidelity. And middle-aged couples today admit to twice the rate of infidelity as the preceding generation. While infidelity usually results in either divorce or an empty relationship, Suzy was determined to fight back. First for her own life. Then, if possible, for her marriage and family.

Suzy Farbman’s personal odyssey is one of the first published by a woman who confronted infidelity and went on to save her marriage. It was a long and difficult struggle, but in the process she learned much about what it takes to rebuild a relationship.

Here, too, are the revelations and insights of her husband, Burton. In his own words, he presents the startling account of how a successful businessman took full measure of himself and then made profound changes to dismantle the layers of his deceptive life.

Back from Betrayal will inspire couples who want to repair a broken marriage, and will also guide those in a healthy partnership to a deeper level of commitment and self-awareness. This courageous story adds a new perspective to our understanding of infidelity and, more important, reveals a process that can lead to healing and renewal.


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Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life + Straight Talk About Betrayal: A Self-Help Guide for Couples + Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain, 3rd Edition
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Though she describes herself as "Generation S"-one of the cultural "straddlers" who came of age in the 1960s-Farbman admits she was more into pruning her rosebushes "than marching for peace." A virgin when she married her real estate developer husband in 1967, Farbman was a faithful, supportive wife for 30 years. She set aside her own career to raise their children, turning down job offers outside her husband's Detroit base of operations. She thought she had a very good marriage. Then her husband admitted-after she'd become suspicious and brought him to "couples therapy"-that he'd been having affairs with other women. Farbman was devastated. But rather than go straight to a divorce lawyer, she decided to deal with her pain and confusion and see if her marriage could be salvaged. She went to Onsite, a crisis intervention center in Tennessee, and also to the Deepak Chopra Institute. She consulted "spirit guides" and an astrologist. She tried realignment by "cranio-sacral massage." Her husband went to The Meadows, an Arizona facility for behavioral disorders, and together they studied "A Course in Miracles." After much rethinking and revising of their interpersonal skills, the Farbmans were able to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary together stronger, wiser and happier. Statistically, it's uncommon for couples to recover from infidelity. Culturally, it seems even odder for middle-aged, upper-crust Midwesterners to consult New Age therapists for healing. Still, readers without the means to participate in such far-flung seminars may find inspiration from reading this story.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

A riveting account of one couple’s journey through infidelity, deception, denial, and, ultimately, liberation and healing. -- Debbie Ford, bestselling author of The Right Questions and Spiritual Divorce

An amazing and well-written book. -- Dr. Terri Orbuch, serior research scientist, University of Michigan

For the shattered loves that still hold promise, may this book be medicine. -- Marianne Williamson, author of Everyday Grace and other bestsellers

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Crofton Creek Press; First Edition edition (April 14, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0970091729
  • ISBN-13: 978-0970091727
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.1 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #455,795 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

42 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
3.9 out of 5 stars (42 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars Life is Rough, April 25, 2005
By 
This review is from: Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life (Hardcover)
I saw this couple on Oprah and I admired them for staying together and when Suzy was confronted by someone in the audience about "Why would you stay with someone who cheated on you for 30 years?" Suzy (and Oprah) both said it is not for anyone to decide but you. You need to "follow your heart." Having gone through similar pain- only worse (my husband was with men and now we are both HIV positive), I wanted to see how she survived her ordeal. Although I am sure her pain was terrible, everyone's pain is their own and you can't compare, it bothered me that she had so many places to go for help AND the money to do it so easily. I found it tiresome to read about all the beautiful places they were able to travel to and still try to work on their marriage. What about us other folks who are stuck at home because we are paying so much money to our therapists to help us with this mess, that we can't afford to do anything? I thought Suzy did a good job of learning to take care of herself first...we all must do that in order to survive. But she sure did it by spending a lot of money. I'd like to write a book for the common woman who has to cope with what little means she has to do it with. I hope I live long enough to write that book.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars what a wimp !!!!, March 5, 2005
By 
This review is from: Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life (Hardcover)
After seeing the oprah show I couldn't wait to read this book ! It's like a fairy tale version of infidelity .Where's the real pain ? Where's the rage most women feel after this kind of betrayal ? Suzy is one giant wimp ! She looked the other way for years so as not to ruin her life style .I'd work on the marriage but first Burton would be on the couch for months and his riding clothes would probably be shredded .He's also understand that if he ever so much as thought about cheating again his belongings would be on the lawn and the locks would be changed .Suzy "s book has about as much emotion in it as flat ginger ale .Maybe sometime she'll write a real book about the betrayal .Complete with spending days in bed crying ,screaming at Burton until she was hoarse and opening his mail to make sure this is not happening again .That's reality to most women who have dealt with infidelity .Not this fairytale !!!
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Hope and healing for couples facing infidelity, May 26, 2004
By 
Julie C. (Charlevoix, MI) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life (Hardcover)
This book is an amazing diary of a married woman's struggle to survive infidelity and reclaim herself. It also gives a guide for saving the marriage.
It is well written and reads easily. Suzy presents her journey in a straight forward non-judgmental way that most people can identify with.
It also provides a bibliography filled with different places to go for help if this experience happens to you.
SHe is intensely honest and transparent with her experience and provides hope for others.
In addition, her husband writes an afterword that provides his point of view for the reasons behind his behavior and how he is coping with the changes that he needed to make to save the marriage.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
BY THE TIME BURTON AND I MET IN 1966, I was twenty, he almost twenty-two, and I was ready for some excitement. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
couples program
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Debbie Ford, South Lyon, New York, Jody Sommers, Little Suzy, Living Centered, Detroit News, Burton Farbman, Sally Preston, The Meadows, John Wayne, Albert Kahn, Bloomfield Hills, Detroit River, Franklin Hills Country Club, Harriet Lerner, Henry Ford, Huntington Woods, Jim Rowe, South Beach, Susie Cox
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