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I'm Back for More Cash: A Tony Kornheiser Collection (Because You Can't Take Two Hundred Newspapers into the Bathroom) [Kindle Edition]

Tony Kornheiser
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (90 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $13.95
Kindle Price: $7.99
You Save: $5.96 (43%)
Sold by: Random House LLC

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Book Description

I think it’s really cool to be on a jury. Take the O.J. jury—the people on that jury got book deals, and they got on Nightline, and some of them even got to meet Greta Van Susteren! They were always being written about in the newspapers: “Juror No. 1, a thirty-six-year-old Caucasian male with a master’s degree who works for a high-tech corporation.” Throw in a line about how “he likes to hunt and fish,” and you’ve got The Dating Game.

I wonder what they’d write about me. “Juror No. 4, a fat, bald, old, whiny Caucasian man who dresses like a vagrant and has complained incessantly about the texture of the toilet paper in the jury lavatory.”

I try to diet, but unfortunately I’ve come to the point in life where nearly everything disgusts or disappoints me except food.

And so I eat all day long. If I had a family crest, at this point it would be a man with a chicken breast in one hand, a cheeseburger in the other, and a garland of sour-cream-and-onion potato chips around his head.

Tony Kornheiser is back. The celebrated Washington Post columnist and ESPN radio and TV personality relates his experience as an OnStar user, a proud new owner of the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ, and a “phone-a-friend” on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. And in between, he dishes out political commentary on Monica and Bill and Al and George W.

Read all about his quest to fit into size 36 Dockers and his struggle to buy holiday gifts. And know that in the process you’re handing this Kornheiser guy the dough for these columns twice.

I got into the stock market late. I was deep in my forties and I still had all my money in the bank, earning 2 percent, like it was low-fat milk. My friends laughed at me. Even the people at the bank laughed at me—they had all their money in the market.

So I gave my money to a financial adviser, who promised me he would get me a greater return than the bank.

A baboon could do that, Tony.

Yes, but would a baboon give me steak knives?

—from I’m Back for More Cash

From the Hardcover edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

This book consists of over 100 fairly recent selections from the syndicated humor column that Kornheiser writes for the Sunday Washington Post. Kornheiser's gift as a humorist, honed over long experience, is such that he can make a story out of nothing and out of everything like buying something from infomercial pitchman Ron Popeil, wishing Bob Dole would shut up, attending a "guys only" high school reunion, or smearing his head with Rogaine (his previous collection of columns was Bald As I Wanna Be). L'Affaire Lewinsky and the Al Gore/George Bush election occupy a good portion of the book. Kornheiser keeps the reader in a more or less chucklesome mood most of the time, but even the best collections of newspaper columns lose something of their flavor and immediacy when put in book form, and this is no exception a lot of the material is old hat. Even so, the humorous invention provides considerable mirth, and the book, dipped into at judicious intervals, will help at a time when the national funny bone could stand some vigorous tickling. A.J. Anderson, GSLIS, Simmons Coll., Boston
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.


I’m Back for More Cash shows off the versatility, the wit and the self-deprecating style that have made his humor columns for the Post so popular.” —Associated Press

“A hoot . . . In bites of a thousand words or less, Kornheiser offers happenin’ zingers from the turn of the century, complete with rimshots and all the brio of Henny Youngman.” —Kirkus Reviews

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1328 KB
  • Print Length: 402 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: B009I6UVAG
  • Publisher: Villard; 1st edition (December 7, 2011)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003E8AK00
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #462,790 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book is EPIC May 16, 2002
By A Customer
The T-Man from W-town, dude makes like George Lucas, reviving clauh-sic old material to finance frivolous hobbies like exterminating racoons and woodpeckers in his chimney.
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47 of 61 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is so CLAH-SIC! January 25, 2002
By A Customer
This book is so EPIC! Dude took a bunch of his columns and had them all put into a hardcover book! That's so CLAH-SIC! Rack him!
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Rack this! May 7, 2002
Tony Kornheiser reissuing his mildly amusing columns in book form for the American public: Classic!
Tony Kornheiser consistently shilling his wares ad nausem to the point of submission: Not Classic!
I was flipping through the channels a couple of months ago when I landed on a show called "Pardon the Interruption" (heretofore known as PTI). I found myself captivated by the orange talking head we all know as Tony. His sparring sessions with Michael Wilbon were so entertaining, I automatically set the TiVo to tape this show every day so when I got home from work, I could see these two bicker until their heads spin.
About a month later, I found Tony's show on ESPN Radio. This show is even better than the PTI show, because it's just Tony whining and complaining about every little thing (similar to another person I'm a big fan of, David Letterman, except in a more incessant, New Yorker tone). Finding out that Mr. Tony is also a fellow displaced Long Islander, I became an instant fan.
I also noticed that Tony had three books in publication. I've read two of them (Bald As I Wanna Be and Pumping Irony), and I found them to be endlessly entertaining, albeit a little dated. I'm sure some of these columns from "I'm Back For More Cash" (credit Denis Horgan, Jr. for that one) will seem a little dated (I mean, how long ago was that Clinton stuff?), but I'm sure you'll still be able to find a laugh in every page, like Larry King did in "Bald as I Wanna Be" (Which I'm still fact checking to see if his recommendation might have been a little flawed).
And since Mr. Tony has consistently shilled his book on his radio program, you have no choice but to purchase this book. He's brainwashed us all. The next thing he'll want you to do is buy merchandise with his name on it... Oh wait, it's too late!
Get this book, because you should be entertained by it. Rack it. I'm out.
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Toes Up! - L. Cohn May 21, 2002
By A Customer
Most people like to curl up to a new book... I, on the other hand, like to curl my toes up to a new book... ALL 12 OF THEM! So pop a scone in the toaster, leave your worries of apocalyptic icebergs behind and take those [dollars] you had earmarked for that Perfect Pancake or 8 cans of Campbell's soup to buy this book!
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down May 16, 2002
This book tells you how to become an intern on the Tony Kornheiser Radio Show. I'm Back for More Cash is soo EPIC!!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Once again Toby presents his outlook on the Washington D.C. political scene, his family and other subjects too weird to mention. This book will have a permanent place in the bathroom. The book is well done but sometimes the lines and paragraphs don't line up right. I hate it when that happens.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Korn-dog Strikes again May 7, 2002
By "sdog4"
Yes, once again, the Washington Post's choleric, aging, but never say die sports columnist and former "Style" section columnist collects the best of his pieces from the Post. Actually, "best" may be a misnomer, since that implies "worst," of which there is none. Always funny, and often totally hilarious, Tony finds humor in the day-to-day insanities we all face, only his "rage against the machine" is fun to read. This book isn't just for the bathroom, you can even put it in your living room and let your friends read it. They'll be better for the experience, but watch out, as I've learned Tony's books tend to disappear if you turn your back.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars BEWARE OF THE BLUE BALL!!!! May 23, 2002
I was at my local borders bookstore looking for this book but noticed that it was not in stock. From out of nowhere, an orange faced cape-wearing bald man appeared and saw me on the wing going to the counter to ask for help regarding the book. Screaming out of his cape came a behind-the-back pass of the book that landed softly in my well-manicured right hand. I easily laid the book up on the counter and paid for it with the greatest of ease. As I was exiting out of the book store, I pointed at the caped curmudgeon --- AFFIRMATION!!!!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Stinks
I'm Back for More Cash is a book by Tony Kornheiser- B Danner
So funny, I nearly split my 36" waist khakis- Junior Feinstein
Published 8 months ago by B. Danner
4.0 out of 5 stars Ok Book, some funny colemns
Book was ok, I'm a huge fan of PTI which Is why I ordered the book. It's just a bunch of colemns he wrote for Washington Post. Read more
Published 12 months ago by James311
5.0 out of 5 stars Great product! Great Price! It was absolutely what I expected! Will do...
It was absolutely what I expected! I will be doing business with them again real soon!! Great product! Great Price! It was absolutely what I expected! Will do business again!
Published 17 months ago by Theodore J Holloway
5.0 out of 5 stars Loyal Little
I bought this cause I am a loyal little and Mr. tony didn't disappoint! Classic Mr. Tony stuff and I laughed out loud often at his musings about life and all that goes with it.
Published 23 months ago by JStaley
5.0 out of 5 stars About time!
I've been waiting for Tony Kornheisers books on Kindle forever. I only requested this on Amazon every-other day. Read more
Published on February 17, 2012 by Broncofan
3.0 out of 5 stars It was only OK.
Tony's funnier on PTI with Wilbon to work with.
The book was dated.
Published on May 21, 2010 by Veronica Rogers
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book
I'm a regular listener to Tony's radio show in Washington DC so I already knew I would like his book. Read more
Published on November 3, 2008 by Steven Ramos
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm Back for More Cash: A Tony Kornheiser Collection
This is a must read for anyone who will have teenagers, has teenagers or ever had teenagers. Laugh out loud book, proves TK can talk about something besides sports..
Published on February 14, 2007 by CALIFORNIA MKC
5.0 out of 5 stars The names and events may be somewhat outdated,,,,
but the humor certainly is not in Tony Kornheiser's, "I'm Back For More Money". The material in this book comes from collections of some of Kornheiser's best columns from the... Read more
Published on December 11, 2005 by coachtim
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud funny
I have been reading Mr. Tony's columns in the Washington Post sports section for years and always found them very amusing. Read more
Published on February 28, 2005 by B. Goodman
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