Customer Reviews

Back Woods

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

Some people have far too much time on their hands. Lots of bitterness here. We made this movie in 3 days for $900. It was a fun experiemnt for a bunch of friends to get together and have a good time. Someone at Dead Alive Productions saw it and made an offer. Would you turn down money? No, that would be stupid. Too bad these reviewers got NONE of the jokes. Zilcho. If you wanted to watch something good, you should have watched something else. Oh, thanks for the sale... I love royalty payments.

For the forty year old virgin living in his mother's basement (see review below) that wants to smack me in the face: I relish the thought of you taking a day off of work from your 7-11 Assistant Manager job and doing the deed.

I'm not ashamed to be an aficianado of low-budget, no-budget and generally low-brow video. To me it is true talent to create anything gripping and entertaining from nothing. "Backwoods" instead creates NOTHING from nothing.Watching this "video" is akin watching the biggest fools you could hope to never meet traipse through the wilderness in a possible state of intoxication screaming at one and another for an hour plus.
The losers who put this together probably worked one another into a destructive and delusional groupthink that the video they were making will be "so BAD it will be GOOD!". No, this is so bad it is bad. The video should be burned, the writer/director/producer/actors BANISHED from the industry.

The plot description gives you what this movie is about. The only thing that I can say that is positive about this movie is the cover to the dvd...otherwise save your time and money. Low budget, extremely boring, special effects for the gore left me laughing. I thought this movie was put together by a group of kids who had nothing better to do in an afternoon, then try to attempt to make a horror flick. If you think that this movie is up your alley find someone who owns it and like I said save your money. If you want to laugh at a very poor attempt of a movie that I would rate lower than a "B-movie" this one fits the bill.

People, I beg of you. DO NOT BUY THIS MOVIE. Please don't! It's so DUMB!!!!! It is shot with A HOME VIDEO CAMERA....you heard me. The acting is so incomprehendedly vile, I just can't describe it. Even if you're curious, don't buy it. I was curious, and I paid severely. I cried that day, because I couldn't believe I actually bought this "movie". To this day I lie awake in bed, wondering if anyone, besides the actors, enjoy it. None of the deaths are good. The whole thing looks so shaky that you cannot tell what's going on. The sound is horrible. The music is horrible. Why, it's so shockingly bad, that there should be an 11th Commandment against it. "Thou shalt not watch Back Woods". I am now convinced that David Hayes is the Anti-Christ. Actually, everyone who is involved with this movie are Anti-Christs. In short, I hate this movie. Peace out.

I cannot honestly say that director Grant Woodhill's _Back Woods_ is the worst movie I've ever seen. The problem is that I've seen Tony Malanowski's _Night Of Horror_ (which you'll only be able to find on an old copy of the VHS, if they haven't all been burned by now). _Back Woods_ is probably the second worst movie I've seen so far, and I've seen thousands (including lots of no-budget horror).

The positive reviews on the Internet for _Back Woods_ can only have a couple explanations. One, they were written by someone involved with the disc. If so, they must have been written only by someone in a position to gain financially from your spending a couple bucks on this turkey (they are probably trying to recoup the $20 they spent on the production plus the thousand or two spent to manufacture the disc and hire the sole professional associated with the project--whoever created the artwork for the case). The other cast and crew can't possibly want you to see this. The only other option is that they are written tongue-in-cheek by people who like to perversely mislead, who think it's funny to say that something is good if it's in fact terrible, and/or who aren't going to go down with a sinking ship unless _everyone_ goes down.

If you read about the movie on the box, _Back Woods_ sounds like it might be worth watching, especially if you like your entertainment on the bizarre side, or if you really enjoy "so bad they're good" films. Both of those descriptions fit me. I love all of John Waters' films. I'm an Al Adamson fan. I like Ed Wood--I even enjoyed watching _Orgy of the Dead_, which is basically 90 minutes of moderately tame go-go dancing. I love Troma. I think that Andreas Schnaas' films are entertaining in a perverse way. Heck, I even gave _Cabin Fever_ a 10 out of 10!

The problem is that if you hadn't read the box, and you tried to give an "objective" description of the film to someone, you'd have to say, " 'Filmed' on a digital camcorder with low resolution by someone overly amused by a couple cheap optical effects, _Back Woods_ is what Texas Chainsaw Massacre might have been like (the plot is a very rough rip-off) if made by a nine-year old who grabbed a handful of people at random in a county park, armed with bottle of strawberry jam for blood, and just made up the film on the fly, with the state park as the only location, in about three hours."

The most aggravating thing about the film, perhaps, is that it wouldn't have to be as bad as it is. It seems like the "filmmakers" made absolutely no effort, in any respect. There is no reason that the whole film has to be shot in a county park, with no sets. At one point, a picnic pavilion is supposed to be a gas station. You know this because they wrote the word "Gas" on a piece of cardboard with a magic marker and placed it on top of a garbage can. The villain, Luther, and his mom, both played by fat men, supposedly just live in the woods. Not in a house, they just stand around in the woods. During a "flashback", one character has a moustache that was drawn on with an eyebrow pencil. There is little concern with editing or pacing (of course). There are scenes where the camera just travels through the woods slowly for a couple minutes, and nothing else happens; there are scenes of someone walking through the woods and calling a name for about five minutes; the scant 60-something minute running time is further padded out with a nonsensical "fast reverse" replay of the whole film at the end; and the director was so amazed that he got the "lead actress" to show her breasts that he lingers on them for about a minute.

They don't even really try to create any gore effects, which usually are the best things about these kinds of no-budget horror films. People like Andreas Schnaas convey a true love for the horror genre, despite the fact that maybe they're not that talented and can't get together a lot of funding for their films. They still make the best horror films they can with the resources at their disposal. On the other hand, people like the crew and cast of _Back Woods_ only convey that they'd like to rip you off for a couple bucks, and want to spend as little money as possible to do it. It's like a three card monte game by someone who can't even be bothered to set up a cardboard box and use real cards--instead they just use the sidewalk as a "table" and draw cards on a couple pieces of scrap paper with an eyebrow pencil.

Surely someone involved with _Back Woods_ lives in a house or apartment. It's not that hard to take a couple rooms and dress them. It's not that hard to find a gas station where the owner would like some free publicity. It's not that hard (unfortunately) to find talented make-up and effects artists who'll work for free, just for the chance to do something in a genre they love. It's not that hard to learn how to shoot coverage and do some computer editing. It's not that hard to find writers who'll donate decent, or at least passable, scripts in exchange only for credit on the film. It's not that hard to locate someone with a home digital multitrack who would record some looping (dubbed dialogue) and maybe some foley (sound effects) for you, so that viewers can actually hear lines the actors say and it doesn't sound like they're inside a plastic cup. But you'd have to care about what you're doing, and care about the genre to make those efforts. The _Back Woods_ team didn't care.

One equation: David Hayes = Large and in charge! If you're looking for a review that decribes this movie, then you're barking up the wrong tree mister... Because I can't! The only thing I can begin to describe are the emotions pumping through my veins only moments after my first viewing of what the critics will soon be calling a cinematic masterpiece. I'd lost all hope in the 300 pound, redneck, transvestite, ex-genius serial killer genre until I laid my eyes on Mr. Hayes giving a performance that the 400 pound Marlon Brando couldn't match even in his hay day of only 300 pounds of girth squeezed into his belt. Now if you'll excuse me, I must restart my Back Woods digital versitale disc and drift back into heaven on earth.

A lot of people hate on this movie...and I don't blame them.

Yes it's a [literal] bad movie, but honestly, you have to have a certain type of sense of humor to really enjoy it.

As cheesy as it is, I laughed my ASS off... I then showed it to my friends and they laughed their asses of, too.

A part of you may die inside watching it, but at least you'll be amused/entertained.

So, if you are looking for a serious horror movie...don't buy this one.

If you are looking for something to laugh at, or even better, laugh with your friends at, then definitely buy it.

It grows on you...like a tumor of joy!

i watched this movie years ago and had to buy it for a friend. It was a cheesy b rated film but we bought it as a gag gift.
seller sent the movie out immediately and the item was as expected...brand new in packaging.

When Stanley Kubrick released "The Shinning," I was among the critics who asked themselves, "Why doesn't Nicholson do the whole transvestite thing? That could be funny." The conclusion that I came to was that Stanley Kubrick, who had enough inititative to institute the greatest jump cut in film history ("2001"), lacked the "chutzpah," for lack of a better word, that is showcased in Grant Woodhill's masterful cross-dressing horror masterpiece, "Back Woods." For anyone who felt that "The Blair Witch Project" was an exercise in masturbatory horror sans payoff, "Back Woods" pays those blue-balled debts off in dividends.

The film transcends ethnic boundaries with its diverse cast, who hail from the beatiful rice fields of China to the cobblestone streets of old time France to the shopping mall-ridden streets of suburban Chicago. Utlizing Woodhill's now patented ...-style directing and the ponderous camera tilts up to a vast sky, "Back Woods" is a visual feast for the eyes from digital frame to digital frame. As a director myself, I was impressed with the lavish production values on this film; the gas station set alone must have set the filmmakers back a couple of clams.

As far as the acting, the Davids (Hayes and Brenders, the latter who lights the screen on fire in a film-ending cameo) bring the vivid writing to life. There is not one performance in this film that could be called sub par, including an Oscar-worthy turn by the female lead's nipple, which ironically gets more screentime than most of the unfortunate victims of the serial killer, Luther.

While "Back Woods" wasn't graced with a wide theatrical release, it has the power to stand alongside the titans of cinema. Coppola and Brando. Scorsese and De Niro. And now Woodhill and Hayes. While I don't see Joan Rivers reviewing these strapping young men of Hollywood on E!, I see them reigning as the kings of straight-to-video releases for a long time.

(And on a side note, fans of this film would also benefit watching some of my work, including "Bad Boys" and the soon-to-be-released remake of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with the broad from "7th Heaven."

This film reminded me of when I bought my first camcorder years ago. I made all kinds of little shorts. I still get a kick out of watching those tapes. This is a very student film. It's like watching a train wreck. You want to turn away but just can't.
I actually got embarrassed during a few scenes and I watched it alone. The makers of this film make no pretense as to the fact this is a good film. They know it's bad and they run with it.
I admire them for that.
This probably doesn't deserve 3 stars but I gave 'Silo Killer' 2 stars and I'll never watch that movie again!
Will I watch 'Back Woods'again? Yes, probably so but I won't tell anyone. 'Back Woods' is like nothing I've ever seen before and that's probably a good thing.
The copy I got is actually autographed on the cover by the star.
That's funny enough right there.
Here's my advice, instead of buying this movie talk a friend into buying it. After your friend has watched it ask to borrow it and just never return it. I promise your friend will be too embarrassed to ask for it back and you save a few bucks.