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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
26 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Nothing you haven't seen before, but at least it is watchable,
By Daniel Jolley "darkgenius" (Shelby, North Carolina USA) - See all my reviews (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER) (TOP 100 REVIEWER) (VINE VOICE) (REAL NAME)
This review is from: Backwoods (DVD)
I didn't have high expectations for this movie. To my way of thinking, the world already has more than enough B-horror movies featuring a group of young people going out into the woods and being attacked by a bunch of dirty, disgusting backwoods cretins. To make matters worse, the characters in this film are all taking part in a corporate team-building retreat (not a reunion - the information in the editorial review is less than accurate), a practice I consider to be one of the most infernal ideas mankind has ever come up with. And wouldn't you know it? These young video game company executives turn out to be among the most annoying people on the planet. Only two have any redeeming qualities whatsoever, the one dude who isn't really in to all of the kissing up and debauched camaraderie (Ryan Merriman) and the hot girl who's sort of uncomfortable with her jerk boss's constant touchy-feely sessions with her (Haylie Duff). To my surprise, the film actually grew some legs somewhere in the middle - but not enough to really win me over. In the end, a complete lack of originality consigns Backwoods to the ranks of the slightly below average. Think Wrong Turn meets The Hills Have Eyes, and you'll pretty much have Backwoods all figured out.
I wasn't sure what to make of the name Tom Alan Smithee being given to a character (and a minor character, at that). As most B-movie buffs know, "Alan Smithee" is the name film directors use when they know they've made a real stinker and don't want their real names associated with the project. Maybe the character name is just a coincidence, but the fact that Smithee and his girlfriend turn up on Missing posters as having last been seen on February 30 seems to indicate that the script writer may have had a sense of humor about the whole thing. (Unfortunately, these in-jokes are the only creative aspects of the entire film.) So our stereotypical characters all go out to the middle of nowhere to play paintball, hone their "executive tactics," and have their teamwork skills reviewed by their obnoxious boss. Being hot-shot executives and all, they happily set up camp in what they know is a restricted area that used to house some sort of military installation. The one unhappy camper among them soon notices all of the obvious evidence that they're not alone, but no one wants to listen to his party pooping warnings. The next thing you know, the gang is besieged by a group of religious fanatics who proceed to beat the crap out of the six guys while preparing the two females for use in increasing the local nutjob population. Backwoods was apparently produced for Spike TV, so don't expect to see much in the way of blood and gore. (Needless to say, there's no nudity whatsoever.) Some old-fashioned traps make the chase scenes through the forest somewhat interesting, but I pretty much relied on Haylie Duff's hotness to get me through the film's 80 minute runtime (although I must admit I got quite a kick out of watch a mortally wounded techie put on an amazing show of shooting bad guys without even aiming.) If you're a horror fan, Backwoods is certainly a watchable film, but you won't see anything here you haven't seen before.
17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Enjoyable Slasher with a familiar formula that works,
By
This review is from: Backwoods (DVD)
I quite liked the characters and story .Think Timber Falls meets Dying Breed. Haylie Duff gives a believable performance as one of the girls that go on a paintball excursion with a group of co workers for a workshop in leadership and team work. After they settle in for the night at there camp they are attacked and taken to a cult community and put in cages .The men are set to be slaughtered and the women to be bedded by the breeder.A huge ugly looking mutant who serves as stud service for the savage hillbilly cult that have made a home in a remote part of the "Backwoods" Danny Nucci whom I love turns up in this indie slasher and his acting is always up to par playing a cocky jokester. Deborah Van Valkenburg gives a chilling performance as the mother of the cult .You might remember her from her stint in the 80's sitcom "Too Close For Comfort"and she was also one of the prostitutes in The Devils Rejects. I like this movie because it has all the elements I like in a slasher although it could have used more gore but that didn't diminish my enjoyment of the film.The main thing I loved about it was that the captives don't remain helpless victims and just get tortured "although that can be fun too"..There is quite the battle for survival and some great avenging moments. Is it original ? not exactly but the formula is still fun and one I as a slasher fan always enjoy.The one where people wander into the woods,run into some crazy backwoods clan with their own set of rules and morals and they're usually not conducive to the health of the trespasser.It's non stop action from beginning to end.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Well THAT was a disaster...,
By
This review is from: Backwoods (DVD)
Great Gertie's Nightgown! "The Best Movie Ever!" You're kidding me right? Either that or you're 12. "Backwoods" is yet another feeble attempt at telling a worn-out story. Haven't we beat this horse to death yet?
The plot line is something like this: some en-tre-preneurs decide to go paint balling over the weekend. In the country. In the backwoods. Alone. No guns. Nothing to protect themselves. Scared yet? Neither was I. While there, they encounter a bunch of goons who've decided they need fresh women in order to breed with a hatchet-weilding troglodyte so they can keep the "new race" up to snuff. What follows is very lame, very boring, and very awful. The movie lasts 84 minutes (you'll swear it's more like 8-1/2 hours), is directed with about as much verve as a turnip, and is rated R. Haylie Duff screams a lot and wears boots. Pitiful.
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