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Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer (2003)

Ariauna Albright , Lilith Stabs , Yolonda Squatpump! , John Treacy  |  Unrated |  DVD
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)

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Product Details

  • Actors: Ariauna Albright, Lilith Stabs, James Black, Tom Hoover, James L. Edwards
  • Directors: Yolonda Squatpump!, John Treacy
  • Format: Multiple Formats, Color, NTSC
  • Language: English
  • Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.)
  • Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1
  • Number of discs: 1
  • Rated: Unrated
  • Studio: Bad Movie Police (Tempe Video)
  • DVD Release Date: October 14, 2003
  • Run Time: 70 minutes
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • ASIN: B0000C508S
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #363,101 in Movies & TV (See Top 100 in Movies & TV)
  • Learn more about "Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer" on IMDb

Special Features


Editorial Reviews

Product Description

For anyone who's ever watched a movie so bad you wished acting required a permit or that a 14-day waiting period was mandatory to buy a camera...the Bad Movie Police are here! Follow the adventures of Sgt. Elke Mantooth, Lt. Drucilla Dread and The BMP Task Force as they seek out the worst "cine-terrorists" in movie history and bring their crimes to justice for your entertainment! Shot in late 1991, CHICKBOXER has a long list of crimes it's committed against good cinema. Among them is a cameo by retired scream queen Michelle Bauer (HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS) shot in Los Angeles while the rest of this turkey was lensed in the backwoods of Ohio under the dubious talents of feminist director Yolonda Squatpump. Watch for Bauer's nude sex scene in the flick's finale which was obviously tacked on to an otherwise skinless cheesefest! OUT OF SIGHT and SOLDIER star James Black is also on board for this comedic misstep in cinematic sludge.

About the Actor

BONUS FEATURES: Commentary with producer J.R. Bookwalter, Behind-the-scenes featurette (7 mins.), "Into The Black" segment (6 mins.), Still gallery & original trailer, About the Bad Movie Police, Full-color insert with Lt. Drucilla Dread bio

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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The best of the Bad Movie Police case files May 27, 2006
Producer J. R. Bookwalter has come up with a pretty brilliant way of giving his own atrocious films a second chance to make a few bucks - by ridiculing his very own turkeys, he has turned his old, hopelessly unwatchable films into wickedly cool, hilarious viewing experiences. In Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer, Sgt. Elke Mantooth (Ariauna Albright) and Lt. Drucilla Dread (Lilith Stabs) are back, taking down the purveyors of bad cinema one at a time and warning us of the dangers these low-budget, low-talent directors pose to all of us. This time, they even get to kick a little butt during the film's introductory segment. After breaking up a cinematic crime in progress and warning us of the dangers of bad movies in general, the girls tell us about director "Yolonda Squatpump," one of the most-wanted cine-terrorists in the world. After detailing this director's top ten crimes against good cinema in the film Chickboxer, they present us with the evidence of the movie itself.

I really shouldn't admit this, but I thought Chickboxer was actually a pretty good movie. I'm probably the only person on Earth who would even think of saying this, as even the cast and crew have nothing good to say about the whole experience, but there it is. I agree that the movie looks like it was filmed on a cheap video camcorder (because it was), had nothing that could properly be termed a budget, boasted some pretty bad acting, suffered from audio problems that made some of the dialogue a little hard to make out, and was just pretty stupid an idea in the first place. That's probably why I like it, and everyone else hates it. And, hey, it throws you a bone in the form of a short soft porn scene with Michelle Bauer at the very end, so you can't say J. R. Bookwalter and crew never gave you anything.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Yolanda Squatpump is Today's Ed Wood! March 12, 2004
Format:DVD|Verified Purchase
You have never seen anything like 'Chickboxer.' I have seen many, many very bad movies, and generally revel in movies gone wildly awry, but this is in a class by itself. I am serious, when I say that this is the heir apparent to the Ed Wood catalog.
This is the worst made movie I have ever seen. Shot with a low quality video camera in 1991 on a budget of $5,000, 'Chickboxer' is the story of a frumpy twentysomething girl (who is allegedly seventeen) inspired to fight crime by her favorite television show, 'Chickboxer'. Along the way she takes a karate class (which must be seen to be believed), and gets a date with the limpest football player I have ever seen. There are a couple of plot cul-de-sacs which involve kidnapping and the murder of a waitress which have NOTHING to do with the rest of the movie, and there is a cameo by Michelle Bauer as the real 'Chickboxer', as well as a tacked on bit of bad quality adult film of her that is also completely unrelated to the film at the very end. Another thing to watch out for is the unbearably long 'shoe lacing' title sequence, the most painful in cinema history.
This has been packaged as part of the "Bad Movie Police" series, with several excellent extras, all of which are worth watching. I sincerely hope that the series continues with other movies from the same production team such as 'Maximum Impact', 'Robot Ninja', and 'Zombie Cop', all long out of print. In his commentary, J.R. Bookwalter (the alter ego of editor 'Darryl Squatmpump' [sic]) alleges that 'Zombie Cop' is even worse than 'Chickboxer', but I refuse to believe him until I have seen it myself.
Extras on the DVD are wonderful. In addition to the moderately amusing "Bad Movie Police" introduction, there are two brief documentaries on the making of 'Chickboxer'.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars YOU CAN'T GET A MAN WEARING A BLACKBELT... June 27, 2012
Format:Amazon Instant Video

The phrase "Chickboxer" refers to a TV series which stars hard/soft core star Michelle Bauer. A small town in Ohio has a crime wave. Julie Suscinski plays Kathy, a big fan of Chickboxer. She is one of the unconvincing group of high school kids who look in their 30's with multiple chins and beginning crow's feet. Inspired by the mock TV series, Kathy enrolls in a karate class where she has trouble kicking her foot above her knee. The movie also boosts perennial bad actor Tom Hoover.

The acting was very bad, by design. The dialouge was cheesy and at times the movie was really funny. A worthy installment for Bad Cop Movie. In spite of what the Bad Movie Police say, I liked the heavy metal soundtrack with bad lyrics.

Bad Language (no f-bombs) and a sex/nude scene at the end aka Michelle Bauer, possibly during the days when she used the name Pia Snow. 5 stars on the bad movie scale (Not a serious film for serious viewers.)
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