Customer Reviews

Bad Movie Police Case #1: Galaxy of the Dinosaurs

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This, first of the Bad Movie Police films, is truly worthy of the moniker. For sheer inept filmmaking, it is exceeded only by the Bad Movie Police Volume Two, 'Chickboxer', which I also highly recommend. This film is absolutely dreadful in every way. The entire movie was made for $1250 in 1991 (yes, that's not a typo: one thousand, two hundred, and fifty dollars) in three and a half days in the woods behind the house belonging to the producer's parents). $500 of that budget was for the rights to footage from the vintage dinosaur thriller 'Planet of the Dinosaurs', with live action footage from the Ohio woods added later.

If you treasure truly horrific cinematic endeavors this movie is for you. Brought to you by the same people who made 'Chickboxer', this movie does not quit. From script, to dialogue, to sets, there is nothing lavish to be seen here, but the overall effect is entrancing in the badness it exudes. The star of the film, James Black, was paid $50 for his part. This movie redefines cheap production standards with special touches like representing the inside of a spaceship with five folding chairs in a basement, and a scientific instrument similar to a tricorder from 'Star Trek' that is nothing more than a c-clamp (which can tell the toxicity of mushrooms!), not to mention wardrobe that the cast furnished themselves (which is frightening when you see what Tom Hoover is wearing.)

I won't divulge the plot, but I will tell you that no matter how grizzled of a bad movie veteran you are, this will leave you breathless. The DVD has a lot of great extras including a "Making of Galaxy of the Dinosaurs" feature, a feature on James Black, still photos, and best of all a commentary track by producer J.R. Bookwalter and James Black, who are both very good natured and funny. The movie is only 63 minutes long, so watch it once without the commentary, so you don't miss any precious dialogue, and then watch it with the commentary on, which renders the film even more hysterical. Hopefully they will release more films in this series soon.

I promise that you will be amazed. For truly hardened Psychotronic fans, try a double bill of this and 'Chickboxer'. I dare you.

Fantastic MST-3000 type of entertainment. The movie was made to be bad. They used stock footage from a 35 mm Dinosaur movie and brilliantly integrated it with modern super VHS film. It worked so well with Forrest Gump, how could it go wrong? The man who wrote the script didn't want the job and expected the script to be rejected. The director was not pleased because he was told he would write the script. The movie was filmed in the woods during an entire weekend behind the director's home in Ohio. This made it real easy to splice the film with dinosaur stock footage shot in a rocky desert. There were a couple of errors, such as the power lines in the background during the crash scene, and the mike being visible while they were eating leaves. But that was it- honest. There were also TWO plot twists at the end!!!

The dialouge was bad and funny as was the acting. While not rated, it has no f-bombs, nudity, or sex. There is some talk of sex and the word b@st@rd is used. The beginning of the movie has the top 10 reasons why this is a bad film. A full 71 minutes long, although it did seem longer.

This is the first of the atrocious cinematic buffets served up by the buxom Bad Movie Police, featuring Sgt. Elke Mantooth (Ariauna Albright) and Lt. Drucilla Dread (Lilith Stabs) in decidedly non-regulation uniforms. After breaking up another cinematic crime in progress and warning us of the dangers of bad movies in general, the girls tell us about Lance Randas, #1 on the cine-terrorist most-wanted list, describe his top ten crimes in making a putrid little film called Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, and then present us with the evidence of the movie itself. I don't think comparisons of the Bad Movie Police with Mystery Science Theater 3000 are valid, but the kind of folks who enjoyed MST3K will quite likely get a big kick out of the Bad Movie Police as well. I for one love the whole BMP concept. Producer J. R. Bookwalter has come up with a pretty brilliant way of giving his own atrocious films a second chance to make a few bucks - by ridiculing his very own turkeys, starting with Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, he has turned his old, hopelessly unwatchable films into wickedly cool, hilarious viewing experiences.

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs is the very definition of a low-budget movie. It was originally shot, on S-VHS no less, over three and a half days in 1992 for the exorbitant sum of $1500 (although you'd swear it had to be even less than that). That may or may not include the cost of the Mac on which the editing (and pasting of stock footage from the cheesy Planet of Dinosaurs) was done. All of the original video was shot in the woods behind director Lance Randas' father's house in Mogadore, Ohio. The opening spacecraft sets are way beyond cheap, the story is an exercise in ludicrous futility, and the acting is just horrible all the way around.

Basically, some alien space travelers makes a pit stop on Earth, only to find themselves trapped on a desolate, dinosaur-inhabited planet that doesn't seem Earth-like at all. As they wander around a desolate, winter-time forest, they keep running into stock footage of dinosaurs in an environment that is the exact opposite of their own. Desperate for food (especially the silly guy dressed for a Hawaiian vacation), they go to town on some hallucinogenic sprouts or mushrooms, which makes the film's first death by dinosaur scene a source of great amusement to the rest of them. We viewers go on to enjoy the deaths of several more characters, as the dwindling population of bad actors keeps the movie from lasting more than an hour or so. Before the end credits mercifully roll, however, writer Jon Killough has a secret or two to reveal to the survivors and the hand-full of viewers who hang on that long without passing out or going insane.

The DVD has lots of special features. Having rented the film online, I did not get the chance to see any of them, but I still feel comfortable giving the DVD four stars - not for Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, which is a one-star movie if I've ever seen one, but for the ingenious, self-parody packaging of the film using the Bad Movie Police device. There is plenty to laugh at in Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, and the BMP concept just makes the whole viewing experience much more fun and entertaining than it has any right to be.

I bought a four-pack of dinosaur themed movies about a year and a half ago. One of them was Planet of Dinosaurs, a movie ripe for Mystery Science Theater 3000 brutalizing. It had overbearing Wendy Carlos electronic score, acting obviously done after a shot of Nyquil and some great Harryhausen-esque stop motion animation. And my five year old son loved it. Dinosaurs and Space Ships! And none of that pesky long-running dialogue to get in the way of Tyranasaurus eating annoying semi-villians. What more could a five year old want?

This movie is beyond wretched. It takes a D-minus movie, extracts the stop motion animation and adds Master Thespian acting shot on video. It's high school freshman with camcorder caliber.

If you collect Roger Corman films and have a soft spot, you might be able to get a snicker out this. Otherwise, you could die peacefully without ever having experienced this move.

Spend the $$$$ and just get Planet of Dinosaurs (also available at Amazon).

" Galaxy of the Dinosaurs" is well made low budget sci-fi adventure movie featuring some good stop motion effects work. The film is not masterpiece of acting and the script could have been better but the people who made this movie obvious love "Star Trek" and Ray Harryhausen. If you are a stop motion fan its worths seeing