Customer Reviews

Bad News (Dortmunder Novels)

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What's bad news for John Dortmunder, the talented but unlucky thief, is good news for mystery readers. It's been five years since we've heard from Donald Westlake's creation, but while he's been away, Dortmunder hasn't lost any of his zip, whether evading police inside a Sam's Club-like megastore to planning the burglary of a mansion guarded with the latest high-tech security measures.

It wouldn't be giving too much of the book away to say that "Bad News" could also be subtitled, "Or, the Last of the Pottaknobbees." That is the scam Dortmunder stumbles into while switching bodies during a contract job in a Long Island cemetery. Soon, he and his confederates -- the massive Tiny and the smooth car thief Andy Kelp -- are freezing in the woods of upstate New York, helping to pass off a Las Vegas casino dealer as the last of her Native American tribe, and therefore the one-third owner of a reservation casino worth millions. It's not an easy task, dodging stake-outs, the police, the casino's owners and the trio's reluctant partners, but "Bad News" hums along as Dortmunder and crew maneuver -- on eggshells sometimes -- among a gallery of rogues, imbeciles and everyday misfits.

Westlake has been around long enough that it may be difficult to realize just how truly inventive and consistent he is. He's delivered the goods in works ranging from comic novels ("Baby Would I Lie?") to his hard-edged Richard Stark series, to caper novels that tread a fine line in between the extremes ("Kahawa," set in Idi Amin's Uganda), and the corporate satire, "The Axe." "Bad News" is another welcome addition to Westlake's collection of must-read and must-re-read books.

Finally, after five long years, Dortmunder is back along with his ever-loving May and his sidekicks-in-crime Andy Kelp, Tiny Boucher, Stan Murch and Murch's Mom. "So, who's Dortmunder," you ask? Well, where have you been for the past quarter of a century? He's just main character in the most hilarious crime caper series ever created. He's...well, actually, the author tells you everything you need to know about the character in the opening line of this book. "John Dortmunder was a man on whom the sun shown only when he needed darkness."

Things always seem to go wrong whenever Dortmunder plans the perfect crime. And rest assured, as you might expect author, Donald E. Westlake, has invented new and side-splitting ways for things to go wrong during this visitation. John Dortmunder is your basic professional (or unprofessional) breaking and entering artist, a.k.a. burglar. So how does your basic burglar end up in the middle of con caper digging up the remains of a long dead Native American, a.k.a. Indian?

Well, it's probably because he didn't get the thousand bucks for the cameras he was stealing from the Speedshop before he got locked in the optical department. And that all takes place in the first few pages of this new page-turner.

Dortmunder fans will really enjoy this new adventure. And yes, there is the mandatory visit to O. J. Bar and Grill on Amsterdam Avenue where the discussion of "the regulars" centers on the names of Santa's reindeer and the seven dwarfs. If you're not a fan, get this book and you soon will be!

As for author, Donald E. Westlake (a.k.a. John B. Allan, Tucker Coe, Curt Clark, Timothy J. Culver, Morgan J. Cunningham, Samuel Holt and Richard Stark), I've been a fan for almost as long as he's been writing - which is almost, but not quite as long I I've been reading. The bad news about Bad News is I read it too fast and now I'll have to wait five years for the next Dortmunder!

Death, taxes, and a "Dortmunder" novel from Donald Westlake -- they're all something you can count on (and the "Dortmunder" novel is a lot more fun than the other two).

Another thing guaranteed is that nothing ever goes right for John Dortmunder, a simple, honest (well, sort of), hard-working thief who never gets an even break. As with all of Donald Westlake's novels about Dortmunder and his cohorts, just hang on because it is going to be a strange and funny ride. In previous books in the series, we have seen Dortmunder stealing jewels and paintings and banks (yes, "stealing" a bank, not robbing it), but never before has he had to steal a dead Indian. Of course, it is all in a good cause -- money. And rest assured, all will come out wrong in the end. Dead Indians, live Indians, Indian casinos, double-crossing con artists, small town lawyers, big city lawyers, coffins playing musical chairs ... No wonder John Dortmunder always looks so downcast.

This one is money in the bank, folks. "Bad News" is good news for readers.

The premise for this crime caper is an excellent one. If DNA tests don't lie, how can you beat one? Donald E. Westlake takes that idea and turns it in every possible way, and the results bring some very serious fun. At its best, this book is vintage Donald Westlake and John Dortmunder. At its worst, Bad News hints at the best but definitely falls short. Dortmunder's development of a plan and the final resolution are both well below Mr. Westlake's best.

As usual in the series, the book opens with John Dortmunder having unexpected trouble with an effort to burgle a discount store to raise a little extra cash. As always, he uses his quick wits and preparation to escape. But the original plan and effort seem well beneath his best thinking.

Through the Internet, Andy Kelp gets John involved with two men (Fitzroy Guilderpost and Irwin Gabel) and a woman (Shirley Ann Farroff, a.k.a. Little Feather Redcorn) who are putting a scam together. Andy and John are hired to do the heavy lifting, but soon cut themselves into the deal.

In a few weeks, they are deep into the geneology of the Pottaknobbee tribe as a way to make a run at the Silver Chasm Casino on Native American land in upstate New York.

The only trouble is, there's not much for John to do. He finds it very boring. What's even worse, that makes him nervous, " . . . [T]he problem is, everything's going too easy."

Although they are all partners (including Tiny Bulcher), it really seems like they are really two partnerships in competition to cut each other out of the deal (and possibly even cut down each other as well).

Suddenly, all bets are off and John has five days to pull a rabbit out of the hat. In a remarkably inventive subplot, he does. You'll enjoy this part as much as any Dortmunder book you've read before.

As usual, the ultimate payoff isn't quite as big or as soon as Dortmunder had hoped. But he feels better about himself. Now, that's worth something, isn't it?

On the other hand, if you've read all the Dortmunder novels and loved them, you should be sure to read this one. It's good enough to provide for a pleasant reading experience.

After you read this book, think about other places where technology seems to hold all of the answers. Where will it not work?

Look for the reality behind the appearance in everything you do!

There are very few writers who can sustain a humorous novel. It is a talent wildly under-appreciated until one seeks out those few examples of truly funny books: currently, David Lodge, last century, P.G. Wodehouse. A few others. And then there are the Dortmunder novels by Westlake, who takes the mystery genre and turns it into clever, lovable, hilarious adventures of these star-crossed robbers.

This one, his most recent, returns to the level of his earlier ones, those memorable ones like the serial robberies in HOT ROCKS and "bank-robbing" taken too literally in BANK SHOT and the un-robbery of WHY ME?

These are shamelessly shallow feel-good lovable entertainments: a rare accomplishment for any novelist in any period. This one, about DNA and Native Americans' casinos, is a splendid hoot.

After he escapes from his own failed Jersey robbery attempt, John Dortmunder reluctantly agrees to join his friend Andy Kelp on a caper. Fitzroy Guilderpost, Irwin Gabel, and Little Feather Redcorn hire Andy and John to dig up the coffin of a deceased Native American and replace it with a dead relative of Little Feather. Before Fitzroy and Irwin can kill the duo, John and Andy leave with a corpse.

Several weeks later during Thanksgiving dinner, Fitzroy calls Andy to arrange a new deal. They meet at Jones Beach where Tiny Bulcher accompanies Andy and John who demand in on the caper. Forced to concede, they explain how they plan to obtain a share of a successful upstate New York Indian casino. Everyone agrees to the new terms, but neither side trusts the other. The edge belongs to John and his cohorts because they stand together as one unit while the other team remains divided.

The good news is that Dortmunder and friends are back in an exciting caper. The BAD NEWS is that readers will now have to wait for the next tale of what is perhaps the funniest mystery series on the market today. The story line is amusing and entertaining as John and his team engages in a battle of wits and fights with Fitzroy's finest. The support cast adds to the feel that these thieves are genuine individuals whose GOOD BEHAVIOR proves NOBODY'S PERFECT. Clearly THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN to fans of a light but taut mystery novel is to miss Donald E. Westlake's superior book, series, and other works.

Harriet Klausner

THE SETUP
Con artists "Erwin" and Fitzroy Gilderpost hire thieves Andy Kelp and John Dortmunder, essentially as laborers (to be killed later) to disinter the coffin (and body) of Joseph Redcorn, and replace it with the coffin of the grandfather of their confederate "Little Feather". The scam is for Little Feather to claim to be the last of the Patonami Indians (and therefore heir to 1/3 interest in an Indian casino), which can be "proven" by a DNA test on the corpse. Kelp and Dortmunder get away with the body, and negotiate their way "in" to the scam, along with their associate Tiny Bolger.

COMMENTS
There may be some implausibilities and technical flaws, but who cares? This is a "Laurel and Hardy-esque" comedy. Just enjoy.

THE VERDICT
"Bad News" is not great literature. It will not inspire you nor expand your horizons. But it is very entertaining, and in places, hilarious. Nice light reading when you need a break from the real world.

Of course the bad news came in December 2008 that one of the greatest writers since the English language was invented, passed away in Mexico. Good news is these older classic comic capers are letting Westlake's talent live on, and the Dortmunder series is probably Westlake's most famous. Bad News is one of the more famous due to the fact that main character John Dortmunder had made a reappearance (he had been gone for five years, not that the high quality Westlake independent storyline comic capers didn't entertain readers during Dortmunder's absence).

In Bad News Dortmunder was lucky to avoid jail but had to forget a stash of cameras that would have brought him a $1000 windfall. So when long time criminal colleague Andy Kelp breaks into his house (he doesn't like using the doorbell) and tells him he needs his assistance to make an easy two grand. May, Dortmunder's partner persuades the reluctant Dortmunder to help out Andy. Andy's caper is to dig up a corpse and replace it with another. Of course Andy's new employers take Andy and John to be a couple of mugs and plan on disposing of them. Of course this greatly angers the professional criminal duo who not only teach their would be killers a lesson but insist they be cut in on the lucrative scheme which involves a great female villain who is set to take up the identity of Little Feather and the vast rewards that accompany it. Of course this wouldn't be a Dortmunder novel if Murphy's Law didn't play its part in throwing up hurdles along the way.

The John Dortmunder comic capers are great but don't limit your Westlake reading fun to just that series. If you liked the whole grave yard crime element check out 60's comic caper The Busy Body. Other masterpiece comic capers are The Spy in the Ointment, Cops and Robbers, Smoke and my all time favourite Help, I am being held prisoner. Westlake of course also wrote many a fine novel outside of the comic crime area such as the sensational solution to unemployment - The Ax.

Funny, and with more twists and turns than your average roller coaster, this book will keep you laughing on the edge of your seat. Okay, that sounds like a very cliché line that people would use to promote a book or movie, but in this case it happens to be true. It was a fun book to listen to, never a dull moment. I will definitely be looking into reading more by him! I would recommend this book to anyone who likes a bit of fluffy adventure. There's no deep spiritual meaning, but great characters, a fun, fast-paced plot, and a lot of laughs.

There are some things that are certainties: death, taxes, and on a lighter note, that a new book by Donald Westlake will be a good thing. In Bad News, the latest in his Dortmunder series, Westlake is as consistently great as always.

In this novel, the hapless burglar is recruited into doing some grave robbing for a group of con artists. The con artists are certain that Dortmunder and his pal Kelp are just a couple of dumb crooks, but they are smart and pros...just very unlucky. Soon Dortmunder and his usual gang are involved in a scam to get part ownership in a successful Indian casino, taking them out of their usual field and into the new area of grifting.

The irony that pervades this and the other Dortmunder novels is that Dortmunder winds up working harder as a thief and with less rewards than if he got a legitimate job. The idea of honest work, however, never even crosses his mind. In this book, once again, the simple jobs get ever more complicated and the payoffs are never as great as hoped.

This is a fun book and a funny one, a fast and entertaining read. For those who like a good caper novel, this is a book to read, another delight from one of the masters.