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Ballistic - Ecks vs. Sever

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4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(20)
2 star:		(27)
1 star:		(36)

 

 

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (Wych Kaosayananda, 2002)

According to[...], Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is the worst-reviewed movie of the past ten years. While I'm certainly not going to defend the movie, I have to say that, like most movies about which things like this are said, this isn't even the worst movie I've seen this week (both Bled and The Bone Snatcher were quite a bit worse than this), but "real" critics (i.e., the ones who get paid for doing this) never end up seeing stuff like that, so for them, this represents the bottom of the barrel. There are times when I envy them. Most recently, while I was watching Bled and The Bone Snatcher.

I'd try to give you some idea of a plot here, but there's really no reason. What this movie is really about is Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu running around and blowing things up. Why this should surprise anyone is entirely beyond me, given that both of them made their names doing exactly this sort of thing, though even Desperado had a stronger storyline to it than this does. But really, if you're going to see a movie like this for plot, story, and character development, you're probably in the wrong place. This is all about things blowing up, and as far as that goes, it does deliver. Some worthwhile fight scenes offset the incredibly corny dialogue and uninspired direction, so if that's all you're looking for, this should be right up your alley. * ½

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for abandoning plot for action, but on at least one of two conditions: it must be good action OR it must be a Van Damme movie. "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever" is neither. As a matter of fact, it's not even up there with your average Steven Seagal flick. It has no real plot, just plot elements with one-dimensional characters reciting weak dialogue and getting into long, repetitive gunfights. I'm a die-hard fan of dumb action movies, but even this is too void for my tastes. The cast, while consisting of a few admirable talents, can't seem to keep the movie flowing and the action is trite and devoid of originality. As far as the movie scene goes, "Ballistic" is pure fluff. Mindless and without any direction, it is dead on the screen before the title even flashes.

I can't believe that only two years after the big hit, Charlie's Angels, Lucy Liu appeared in this made-in-Canada cheapie.

The story is nonsensical and confusing. The DVD's description says Liu is an NSA agent, but she's with the DIA (Defense Intelligence Agency), sort of.

I say "sort of," because the movie's DIA is not the US Pentagon's DIA, but apparently some "shadow government" in Canada that hires Chinese orphans (girls abandoned by their parents in China due to China's "one child" policy), to be ruthless assassins. The characters in the movie talk of a "shadow goverment" and the film is set in Canada, with Canadian cops chasing people, so I guess they mean a Canadian "shadow government."

However, this "shadow government" is legitamate. We know this, because they get cooperation from the police in trying to kill rogue assassin Lucy Liu. Only, this "shadow government" is also evil and illegitamite, because some FBI people, linked to the Canadian police or DIA or whoever, force ex-FBI agent Antonio Banderas out of retirement to find a child that Lucy Liu kidnapped.

Confusing, no?

In the Special Features, the director says, "In my research, I found that there really is a DIA." Clearly, neither he nor the writer have a clue as to what the DIA is. It's a branch of the Pentagon primarily concerned with military intelligence.

Lucy Liu's assassin dresses in Lara Croft fashion, walking the streets of Vancouver in spandex and a cape. In the Special Feature, Liu says she was intrigued that the assassin was a woman, because it added "a whole other dimension" to the role.

What other dimension? The screen has been full of ass-kicking lady spies since The Avenger's Emma Peel, yet people still talk as if it's a new thing.

The special effects are okay but mostly the usual, with the exception of a police sniper falling onto a car roof. Well shot.

One movie cliche that really annoys me is when you have scores of highly trained troops or snipers blasting away and hitting nothing. Then the hero (or heroine) steps out and blasts them all away. Liu's knocking off dozens of people and not a bullet grazes here.

Anyway, she turns out to be a good assassin who's only trying to kill the head of DIA (or whoever he is) because her kid got killed in a DIA mission gone bad.

I rented this film because it has Talisa Soto, my second-favorite Bond girl. But as usual, her part isn't very large. Soto fans be warned.

Anyway, the script is just awful, even the title. Does anyone even know what an Ecks or Sever is? They're the names of the Bandares and Liu characters, but unlike Lara Croft, they're not previously known names, so why name the movie after them? Nor does the movie have anything especially to do with ballistics, other than that a lot of guns are shot.

With a title like "Ballistic - Ecks vs. Sever" I just had to see the film to know what it could possibly be about given that nonsensical moniker. After watching it I still don't know what it's about exactly, but do know why the film was utterly panned by the critics and public alike.

The entire movie serves as a setup for exploding vehicles, governmental interagency rivalry, gunplay, kidnapping, and uber-dangerous secret weapons. The film was made in Canada, and the low budget shows up everywhere from the special effects to the acting, and certainly in the script. Directed by "Kaos" ("Chaos" is more like it, though his real name is Wych Kaosayananda) in his American big screen debut, the film centers around kidnapping and killing family members, and initially pits FBI hero Jeremiah Ecks (Banderas) against agent Sever (Liu) a rogue agent of a mystery agency that has a very confusing role in the government. Regardless, they both realize they are on the same side and turn their wrath against a murderous and traitorous common enemy, Robert Gant (Gregg Henry), finding ample reason to increase the body count at random intervals.

The plot is unfathomable, people do things for pointless reasons, and at the end of the movie nobody cares. The soundtrack is pretentious, intrusive, and annoying, the pace is ponderous (despite the explosions and gunfire), and the entire family angle is utterly unconvincing or in any way sensible. Then again what did you really expect from a movie with the stupidest title ever; a title that tells you absolutely nothing about the subject matter and should serve as a warning to anyone considering watching it.

Sadly, the title is the best part.

3 of 5 stars for this action movie. The movie opens with a child kidnapping and a chase of the kidnapper (Lucy Liu). Later an expert (Antonio Banderas) is brought-in to find the kid and get the kidnapper. The bulk of the movie is a cat-and-mouse between these two. OK, let me explain that cat-and-mouse in this case means massive explosions, vast amounts of ammo expended, lots of cars and stuff blown-up. Lots and lots of action and explosions and shooting!

Later in the movie certain character connections are exposed and relations change, the cat-and-mouse team-up to go after the real bad-guy in the movie. Oh, add lots more action and explosions including most of a train yard getting blown-up.

So why three stars? Well, usually I really like Liu and Banderas. In this movie, both characters were really thin and hard to connect with. In fact, in the whole movie every character is thin/shallow and not likeable. Heck, even the kidnapped kid had no personality. So, if you are into characters, this ain't your movie.

If you want an easy on your brain blow-it-up/shoot-it-up movie, this is for you!

Ok, so this movie isn't a masterpiece. But I find it to be an entertaining guilty pleasure, one of those movies that one would never admit to anyone else that they own. It has gotten blasted everywhere by professional and non-professional critics alike, and probably bombed at the box office (I wouldn't doubt this for a second). But it does offer some fairly thrilling explosions, shootouts, hand-to-hand combat and the sort. No better or worse than any other clichéd action flick of this genre. The plot leaves little to be desired, sure, but one usually doesn't watch a movie like this for the plot anyway. And of course, there's the gorgeous Lucy Liu. She's quite easy on the eyes here, let me tell you.

I'd recommend this to die-hard Lucy Liu fans, die-hard Antonio Banderas fans, or fans of the totally brainless action flick genre. Not much else to offer other moviegoers I'm afraid. Definitely rent first before buying, and only buy if you can find it cheap.

Everything said by previous reviewers who detracted the movie is right. Since it?s sort of a chaotic affair,I got the plot by the second viewing,thus finding it more enjoyable. If you,like me,think Lucy is the hottest asian chick ever to have adorned the big screen,by all means buy this dvd since you get a lot of her in it !!! But if you want some nice nudity and sex scenes with Lucy at her youngest,get Flypaper.

Well first you have to ask your self what is the reason you watch movies. And if you answer to be entertained, well this is the movie for you, what it lacks in a solid plot it makes up for in action. I myself love action movies. So if you want to see a lot of kicking ...and explosions check it out. Antonio Banderas and Lucy Lui both do a great job, but I enjoy the work of both actors. Having said that, check it out I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Let me just start off by saying, This movie isn't awful. I have seen and met lots of people that hated it, but I thought it was an excellent attempt by Kaos to make a great American action movie. The reason this movie really suffers is its length, it is so short, they don't give you a lot of time to meet the characters or to unfold the story. The story of this movie is about a microassassin injected into the skin. This plot has a lot of loop holes, but with the right planning they could make them unnoticable they thought. I am a big fan of Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas, and they are very good together in this movie. Antonio Banderas is great as the troubled CIA officer who was on the mission to find his wife. Lucy Liu plays a trained assassin out to avenge her family's death. Lucy Liu plays a lot tougher of a role than Banderas, with many more action scenes. Gant and his crew are acceptable as bad guys. The title of this movie is very misleading, though, which also made me unhappy with this. I expected this movie to be about Antonio Banderas squaring off against Lucy Liu. The title shouldn't really be Ecks Vs. Sever, it should be Ecks And Sever Vs. The Bad Guys, which I didn't find as entertaining. I truly believe, if they would have made this movie longer and put a little more thought into the story and action sequences, this could have been a winner. Unfortunately it became just another Hollywood action movie designed to show how much stuff they can blow up.

This movie is about family values. It's about Ecks (Bandeiras) defending the family he doesn't know he has, and about Sever (Liu) defending the family she doesn't have.

Get it? No? Me neither.

Oh, and there's a deadly nano-thingie making the rounds. That has something to do with the plot, too. Uh, let's just skip the plot.

This is actually an enjoyable guns'n'fights movie. Liu does the super-spy-babe thing very well, and with less facial expression than Keanu Reeves. Come to think of it, the bad guy doesn't have much in the way of facial expressions either, mostly a big evil grin seemingly held in place with botox and superglue. Lots of things blow up, and blow up in the bad guys' faces. That part was a bit puzzling, though: after the explosions, everyone just gets up and plays again.

If you want lots of gunfire and running around, it's a pretty good movie. Still, I was glad that I had a book in hand while watching it.