Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands [Paperback]

Carlton Mellick III (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 26, 2011

A tale of motorcycle-riding werewolf women in a strange post-apocalyptic wasteland. 
They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland. Following his 2009 Wonderland Book Award-winning novel, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, Carlton Mellick III returns with Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands, a collection of three interconnected novels that take place before, during, and after the events of the first book. Including:

BARBARIAN BEAST BABES OF THE BADLANDS - Talon and a party of warrior biker women must hunt down a pack of giant wolves that have gone rabid.

HORRENDOUS HORROR OF THE HATEFUL HAMBURGLAR - A band of mutant soldiers led by the deadly samurai, Hamburglar, investigates an outpost deep in the wasteland that has become plagued by a horde of deranged undead killing machines.

FEROCIOUS FEMALE FURRIES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE - After Talon is infected with a strange mind-killing parasite, Slayer must lead a party of wolf women into the Forbidden Zone in order to find a cure.

Product Details

• Paperback: 284 pages
• Publisher: Eraserhead Press (June 26, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1936383659
• ISBN-13: 978-1936383658
• Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 5.4 x 8.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #702,603 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Praise for Carlton Mellick III

"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America."
- GOTHIC MAGAZINE

"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel

"If you haven't read Mellick you're not nearly perverse enough for the twenty first century."
- JACK KETCHUM, author of The Woman and The Girl Next Door

"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
- CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother

"Bizarre, twisted, and emotionally raw--Carlton Mellick's fiction is the literary equivalent of putting your brain in a blender."
- BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea

"Carlton Mellick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist."
- THE GUARDIAN

"Just as Pop had Andy Warhol and Dada Tristan Tzara, the Bizarro movement has its very own P. T. Barnum-type practitioner. He's the mutton-chopped author of such books as Electric Jesus Corpse and The Menstruating Mall, the illustrator, editor, and instructor of all things Bizarro, and his name is Carlton Mellick III."
- DETAILS MAGAZINE

Product Details

• Paperback: 284 pages
• Publisher: Eraserhead Press (June 26, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1936383659
• ISBN-13: 978-1936383658
• Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 5.4 x 8.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #702,603 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author CARLTON MELLICK III has been pumping out some of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books that you'll never want to admit you secretly love.

His books are released on a quarterly basis (every January, April, July, and October).

Best known as one of the leading authors of the bizarro fiction movement in literature, he is also one of the most prolific authors of his generation with over 40 books in print since 2001. He won the Wonderland Book Award for his novel "Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland" and has had short stories make it into The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror and The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade.

Although many of his earliest works are on the surreal and experimental side, his current style is to take the most ridiculous concepts imaginable and approach them with complete sincerity, as if they are not intended to be ridiculous at all. Always full of tongue-in-cheek humor, social satire, and told in a simplistic straightforward prose style similar to that of children's literature or early pulp fiction, Carlton Mellick III's work is one of a kind, to say the least.

He lives in Portland, OR, the bizarro mecca.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Barbarian Great Awesome Intense, what? August 6, 2011

By Dustin Reade

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book is the prequel-prequel-then sequel to the 2009 wonderland award winning novel "Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland". A book that was so awesome I am still freaking out about it a little.

In this latest book, we are introduced to a few new Warriors (the name of the wolf-women), and we are given MUCH more backstory on The Hamburglar, who may well be the greatest villain in the history of fiction.
All of the stories revolve around these strange, metallic worm things that squirm into a host before taking over its mind and making it go nuts. THe stories all work well together, and they are addicting and entertaining almost to a fault. We are given violence, zombies (sort of), epic battles, engaging characters, unbridled female sexuality, interesting creatures, and much, much more.

However, this does strike me as one of those books that one would not appreciate as much having not read the first book. While that wasn't a problem for me, I have had it happen before where I purchased a book not knowing it was a sequel and couldn't understand almost half of the book. This is my own fault, I know. But still, I have also purchased books not realizing they were sequels and finished them without still realizeing they were sequels. THey gave me plenty of back story, and I figured everything out without the aide of the first book.
This is not one of those books, but it doesn't matter, because you should be reading Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland all the time anyway.
It really is that good.
And so is this one.

incredible

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars If you liked Warrior Wolf Women, you'll like this August 5, 2011

By J. L. Devendorf

Format:Paperback

(Yay! first to review) Very much in the vein of Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, for obvious reasons. If you are a CMIII fan, you won't be disappointed. It is broken up into three separate parts that take place at different times and different places in the same world. I liked the Hamburglar in WWWW, and was happy, like a meal, to see him back. His back story was interesting, too. Some of the same 'sisters' are around, and a number of new ones, complete with illustrations. Lots of battles keep the pace moving through all 270 pages. For me, the most interesting part was (SPOILER ALERT) the whole story around the parasites, the way they control their hosts, and what they do in the end. This is why I enjoy CMIII's books so much, for the new and interesting ideas, well thought out, and uniquely applied. Keep 'em coming.

5.0 out of 5 stars Another win for CM3 February 11, 2013

By DangerClark

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

I was a huge fan of Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, and with this sequel you find out all kinds of neat stuff about the support characters from that book. This is not one novel, but 3 short stories that elaborate on different characters that we know and love from Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland. Awesome stories for the hardened CM3 lover or for a new reader expanding their horizons.

5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect follow-up to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland August 12, 2012

By Craig Meikle

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands is the follow-up to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, Feroin which we're introduced to an outcast tribe of women who have undergone transformations into wolves. Barbarian Beast Bitches is split into three separate stories, all connected by one central plot. Mellick takes these opportunities to explore characters who never really got a chance in the first book.

The first story, Barbarian Beast Babes of the Badlands, is set about two years prior to the events of the first book, and focuses around the character Apple and when she first encounters the Warriors as they are on the hunt for their big sister wolves who have gone out of control.

The second story, Horrendous Horror of the Hateful Hamburglar, takes place during the events of the first book and centers around one of the barely mentioned antagonists from the first book, the Hamburglar, a self-trained samurai with body modifications to make him look like the famed McDonaldland villain. In this story, he and a small band of mutant males are on a mission to check up on one of their outposts when they discover the place has been overrun by a horde of infected mutants and they must fight to stay alive.

The third story, Ferocious Female Furries in the Forbidden Zone, is the final, unifying piece of the book that leads to the ultimate climax of the whole book. It takes off immediately from the end of the first book and is told from the perspective of the Warrior Knight Hyena. The Warrior's leader, Talon, is infected with a parasite, and the Warriors must venture into the Forbidden Zone to find a cure. They encounter strange new creatures and take on brave new battles....

Though each of the stories contain their own individual plots and climaxes, they all work together toward a larger plot that ends in a larger finale. It's a brilliant follow-up to Warrior Wolf Women, but doesn't completely rely on it to tell its story. The book still does expect the reader to already know some of the background from the first book, however. Some of the main characters from the first book have been shifted to support character roles, but their backgrounds aren't covered since they're covered in the first book.

This book is just as great and fun as the first one and really reaches depths of the Warriors that weren't quite reached before, and it's all the better for it. If you enjoyed Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, then this is the obvious follow-up choice for you. If Carlton Mellick III decides to reenter this world once again, I will be right there ready and willing to jump in again. Read more ›

3.0 out of 5 stars Sex With Hairy Warrior Women - Yum! July 11, 2012

By Allen Taylor

Format:Kindle Edition

I'll be honest. I didn't read the original story, the award-winning and legendary story upon which these two prequels and sequel are based. "Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland." Yeah, I didn't read it.

And you don't have to read it either to enjoy these three novellas. None of the characters or events require familiarity with the earlier story.

While I didn't read the original story, I did read all three of the stories in "Barbarian Beast B*tches of the Badlands" and my favorite was the final opus: "Ferocious Female Furries In The Forbidden Zone."

If you like reading about women who eat men, then you'll love these stories. If you like reading about werewolf women who masturbate a lot, you'll love these stories. If you like to masturbate to werewolf women eating men and having wild wicked sex with men while transforming into wolves, then you'll really love reading these stories.

My least favorite was the Hamburglar story. It didn't make sense to me why the Hamburglar from McDonaldland appears within a framework about werewolf women warrior ripping men into shreds. And as someone who spends too much time at McDonald's (because I have grandchildren), I'd rather escape from the Hamburglar rather than read about him. But it's important to note that the Hamburglar was a minor character in "Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland," so that might have been explained in that story. Nevertheless, "Horrendous Horror of the Hateful Hamburglar" can stand on its own. It just wasn't my favorite of the bunch.

The stories in "Barbarian Beast B*tches of the Badlands" aren't bad. Mellick is a good storyteller. His writing is fast-paced and he keeps you on the edge of your seat wondering what will happen next.